Mother in law wants to be in the bridal party

Its not like she actually wants to be part of the bridal party though! I don’t see any harm in including her for hair and makeup.

Does she have other females to get ready with? As pointed out by others, mothers of the groom can be overlooked as though their job should be getting breakfast or ironing shirts on the morning of the wedding!

i think it’d be a lovely gesture to have her op

Seems weird you have said no

Do you not get on ?

Could she not come later so joins in with hair and make up

She's the mum of the man you love

Yes it's strange to want everyone to agree with her spiteful behaviour, hopefully MIL is included.

Is there going to be a massive drip feed?

Because if there's no other reason, you're being unreasonable.

You're forming a new family, and by marrying her son, you're connecting with her. It's a chance to make a pleasant start. She hasn't shown much interest - maybe she hadn't felt included?

Gosh, that's a sad thought. Shamefully, I didn't think of this when we got married.

Be the bigger person OP.

Not 👏 every 👏 modern-day 👏 wedding 👏 is 👏 for 👏 fucking 👏 social 👏 media!!!!!!

Guaranteed a bride had this problem before social media existed! Sick to the death of reading comments on this site about how weddings are "all for the gram" these days.

One of my greatest difficulties with my adult, single daughter, is treading the fine line between being interested in what she does and being intrusive.
Maybe the MiL in question is the same and that's why she hasn't involved herself in the preparations.
I still don't know whether she's invited herself into the bridal party, something I would never do but I don't get the mums going on hen nights either.

And the photos for SM. 'Look how much my DIL thinks of me, she wouldn't dream of not having me there on her wedding morning'.

I think it sounds mean as she wants to join you and you are not setting a nice tone for future a relationship with her.

My son, the groomsmen and my husband all went for a turkish shave and a pint arranged by the best man.

Who are all these people saying “you’re being mean”…

When I got married my DH stayed at his mum and dad’s the night before and had breakfast with them in the morning, his groomsmen met him there and they had photos etc. way more appropriate for the MIL to be there for that no?

Why would she need to be there with you, your mum and bridesmaids? Just plain weird if you ask me!

I say this as a boy mum. If I was in a similar situation, I can’t imagine not wanting to see my sons on the morning of the wedding and wouldn’t dream of imposing on the bridal party.

Why would you be so unnecesarily mean?

Why not?

I think it all depends on the relationships with in the family, how well you get on etc

My ex MIL would have wanted to stay with ex FIL - that said I didn’t have a big getting ready session like this so it’s a bit moot!

Surely she should be with her son on the morning, at least for a coffee or something? How strange.

I think it’s weird. She should be with her family before the wedding, as you will be with yours.

Be firm. She is not in the Bridal Party. She should find other women on the Groom's side if she wants to do Girl Wedding Stuff.

I paid for my MIL to have her make up done, she didn't want hair as it is quite short, she came to my mums house to get it done with us and then went back to get ready at our home with my DH, I always feel that the in-laws don't really get included at weddings, so it felt like a nice thing to do.

Is this really how you want to start off your relationship with your new MIL. Dies it matter?

I was the MoG. No way would I have expected to be part of the bridal.party. I had enough on my hands managing DH, DS, DD, mother, step and MIL. We were in an hotel. My hairdresser came to do mine, mother's, MIL's and dd's hair. There wouldn't have been time to fit in another.

I suggest the @Dilligas72 politely says "I've checked with the hairdresser to see if she can fit one more in, but she feels very stretched already with the x no of us in a limited time window and has said no.

No, YANBU. Bride is with her family and closest friends. Groom is with his family. MIL does not need to join the brides side for the prep.

I would like to think that my DD would include her MIL in anything she could. Her MIL is a lovely woman and only has sons so would never have the bridal
Party experience.

Perhaps this MIL doesn't want to spend the entire day slaving over her menfolk?

If the groom will be getting ready with his dad/best man/ushers etc and MIL has no daughters to get ready with, I can understand why she'd wonder if she could get ready with the other women rather than on her tod.

It's a bit dismissive to call it "primping" too, it's normal and respectful make a bit of effort with your appearance for a wedding.

I’d let her.
My MIL was a slow burn but after 20 + years of marriage we really did get on well and I miss her terribly following her death in March. Unless she’s dreadful do it for her, for your future DH and because if you have sons, you’d like it to be done for you in the future.

My son is getting married next year and thank god we all get on, I wasn't even asked if I wanted my hair and make up done it was just assumed. We are all in the same hotel which makes it easier. It's lovely to be involved and spend more time with future DIL getting ready. Someone said MILs "muscle in"....how ridiculous. I get on with my future DIL and her Mum. Not muscling in on anything.