I don't want my daughter to play with another kid in the street.

I didn't actually say we didn't have any diagnosis. Just we don't necessarily fit the ones we have.
What are my sons has an ADHD diagnosis the other and autism diagnosis and I have ADHD and am bipolar. However I am pretty certain that my son with ADHD is also a bit autistic and my son that is autistic is a bit ADD.
I hope to fuck none of them are bipolar but it's something we all have to wait and see.
I don't think the terms necessarily or that helpful and don't fit into our experience. To assume someone has an easier life than you is quite poor. Particularly when there are waiting lists over four years where I am for a diagnosis (this is where my DD is at).
There's fuck all cool any of our diagnosis and idiot's like you who go around assuming things don't make our lives any easier. We all managing our own different ways, and you have absolutely no idea what we have been through as a family to get to where we are now.

Sorry, but i also cringe when I hear neurospicy.

The text above sounds great. I don't like unsolicited play dates at that age.

Thing is @Lwrenn I take "neurospicy" to mean "there is very little wrong with me but I fancy sounding cool so I've self diagnosed" which is rather the opposite of your nonverbal autistic child.
And that's exactly what I thought whenever read @Moonshiners post. None of you have a diagnosis and you don't have anything like the struggles that my DS or Lwrenn's DC have. It makes me think "they just want to appear special and didn't fancy saying they were queer".

If parents are nice just explain to them that DD is possibly ND and she gets anxious when other people come in her safe place and also that she is not yet allowed to play outside without parental supervision.

I know this isn’t the point of the thread but in case you didn’t know the term “spicy” is also used by certain types to mean “kinky” so it makes me cringe so much to see it used about a child.

I quite like it as some one neurospicy. None of us in my family really fit into an obvious autism/ADHD/ADD diagnosis but we are definitely not NT.

I know its not the point of your post , OP, but did you say you live close to a railway line?

I'd be concerned that this 4 year old is out on the streets on her own, knocking on doors and what not.

Do you know what, there’s actually a lot wrong with it. It’s utterly belittling, makes you sound like you see your DD’s issues as something cute or edgy, that you fetishise it. It just gives the nod to probably the most damaging aspect of the way in which additional needs like your daughters have become ‘of interest’ shall we say, to the idiots of TikTok and the kind of dimwit wannabe-differents. Language has context. The context for me, the second I read your idiotic description of your DD as ‘neurospicy’ but that you didn’t yet know what her ‘flavour’ was 🙄 is as follows -

‘oh, one of THOSE parents. So there could well be nothing wrong with this child, but she’s got an idiot mum who probably follows all kind of ‘ADHD is so cool’ pages on Instagram. And the little visitor could well have done nothing more than tip over a toy box, because whatever this woman writes needs to be taken with a pinch of
salt’

I can guarantee you that using that term to describe your DD to other adults will attract judgement, and probably a degree of scepticism that she has additional needs. If that’s what you want - you do you, as you say.

But language has context and you would do well to realise that asap when advocating for your DD.

Sorry, just read the rest of the thread and saw this has been done to death.

Yes, I would agree that's what it is. It's a way of distancing themselves from those with significant needs.

This is one of the reasons I feel doing away with the term Asperger's was not a good idea. I believe the reason for this was because it was named after Dr Asperger who was a Nazi doctor? But in effect it had left one word to describe a huge spectrum of disorders. Hence things like neurospicy coming into play.

I don't find it particularly offensive. And I think people in defence of it would say that it adds a bit of fun to a condition that can be difficult and have stigmas attached. And I don't disagree with that, I can imagine the word neurospicy is a lot more accessible / attractive a term for young children or teenagers to use, which can only be a good thing.

However, overall I'm not keen, and feel that some proper, medically accepted terms should be introduced to distinguish between higher and lower needs on the spectrum.

What does it mean?

To be honest I always thought 'carnage' was just the part and parcel of having a friend round to play 🤣
You don't Have to let the child in I'd you don't want to, but I'd be careful about being so micro managing in the future about your daughter playing out. She might be a bit young now but in the next year or two she should be allowed some outside time.
Children need a bit of freedom, and if it's a cul de sac setting it should be relatively safe with minimal traffic.

I can't believe the neighbours trust the new adults on the street with their 5 year old

My whole household is ND of varying degrees and shades and I use neurospicy as a way to include us all.
The neurospicies at 42 is what my dp calls us.

I like it because its inclusive to everyone with neurodiversity. It's a silly word because sometimes you don't want to have to explain you've got a profoundly autistic child as well as a more able child with autism also. It is fucking exhausting when people want to know what you're all diagnosed with or in the process of being diagnosed so neurospicy is quite handy and takes away a bit of the seriousness.

Which of course is why most mumsnetters hate it 😂

Glad you found my message suggestion useful. Apologies if I caused the derailment, I was just saying as an aside I thought it was a stupid term. I think offensive is a bit of a reach, not sure people have a right to be offended by how someone else refers to themselves/their child.

I like neuro spicy! I completely understood from the get go that ops child was not NT but there wasn’t a specific ‘label’. Plus this is her child and she can use any bloody ‘label’ she wants to use.

anyway op you’ve had some great advice but unless you can supervise and tell the other child what she can’t do then I wouldnt have her in the house your child needs to feel safe in her own space ..

Lots of people find the term neurodiverse extremely offensive and inaccurate, but you are entitled of course to use it about your own child if you wish.

Maybe OP is spicy too

Actually lolling at Cult de sac.

Is David Koresh a neighbour

NEURODIVERGENT, not neurodiverse or neurospicy.

I think most of us knew what it meant, there is some neurodivergence but not been clarified or formally diagnosed yet/not sure of the flavour as OP says

Ive no time for language police