AIBU to continuously request hybrid working and think management are being unfair

YABU

If you want a WFH job, then get a WFH job.

Your job is not WFH.
It doesn’t matter if it can be done or not.

Agree with this. I know some people who actually wfh and have their children around, but none that would be so silly as to admit it to management. This is exactly why some employers don’t want their workers to wfh, because they suspect this is what’s happening.

Rather than 'bringing it up', you need to make a formal written request. The ACAS website has tips and a letter template. https://www.acas.org.uk/statutory-flexible-working-requests/making-a-request
However, if your request is refused you cannot reapply for a year. (note that you can appeal a refusal and in doing so, perhaps explore/negotiate if there is scope to agree a different proportion of wfh, less than what you'd have liked, but more than you have now). In my workplace we received a couple of flexible working applications that we have refused as the proportion of days wfh was too high (80%) to meet business needs - had the person appealed and sought to negotiate, we'd have accepted a slightly lower proportion. But as the people didn't appeal, the opportunity didn't come up, management never offered it voluntarily and it didn't happen. But if you do get granted it, don't take the piss and have young kids at home without childcare.

There is no requirement to treat everyone the same

They probably think because you asked due to childcare issues and would potentially be looking after your kid at same time that this is the reason why you are requesting it and are reluctant to give it to you for that reason?

Are all the admin women by any chance? You could make a case for indirect discrimination, if the only people not allowed to WFH are the women in the lowest paid job. It is also really unfair that the lowest paid incur the highest travel costs.

There will be a reason why one office can work hybrid and the others can't. I would advise you try and work out what this is before submitting a formal flexible working request to management.
That way, you can try and structure your request so it addresses the concerns they might have.

Common reasons why they might refuse wfh are if many of the people in the team are new or junior and need people around to support them; if the senior leaders in that office think they need on-hand support; or if the staff are the sort who would take the piss if they weren't in the office in person. Unfortunately you have not made things easy for yourself by already requesting wfh for childcare purposes, so you're starting from a weaker negotiating position.
To be in with your best chance of success, you need to state real, tangible, reasons why wfh would better fulfill the objectives of the organisation compared to being solely in the office. Quote your own corporate strategy and HR strategy (presuming you have these) in the request and clearly link the points in your request back to organisational values and behaviours.
You have to convince them it's not just better for you to work from home, but better for their business.

@Bobbingtons OP would have to prove their reason isn’t genuine-

everyone I have seen has simply pointed to harming performance and/or quality.

Check if your employer gave you a valid reason for refusing
Your employer must give you one of the following reasons for refusing your request:

• it would harm your performance in the job - or the performance of your colleagues
• it would cost the business money
• it would reduce quality or standards
• your employer would struggle to meet customer demand
• your employer would have trouble hiring extra staff to cover your work
• your employer would struggle to reorganise work among your colleagues
• there isn’t enough work to do at the times you want to work
• your employer is planning changes to the business structure and your request wouldn’t fit with the changes

They can't do whatever they want. Legally anyone can make a request for flexible working. The employer can refuse this request for one of the following reasons.

• extra costs that will damage the business
• the work cannot be reorganised among other staff
• people cannot be recruited to do the work
• flexible working will affect quality
• flexible working will affect performance
• the business will not be able to meet customer demand
• there’s a lack of work to do during the proposed working times
• the business is planning changes to the workforce

Of course you are being unreasonable - “You can ‘sort’ of understand” that your childcare issues will impact on your work. Your employers are expecting you to focus 100% on the work and not looking after your child. They can’t trust you to do this whilst WFH, so they are insisting you go to the office. What don’t you understand about this?

I suppose OP isn’t just referring to herself and her childcare issues but the fact that one entire office out of 3 is wfh and the other 2 - including hers- isn’t. So it’s not personal about her childcare.

yabu to continuously request it when the answer is no. Submit a formal flexible working request, but they don’t have to supply you with reasons why it will impact their operations, That is incorrect.

I recently helped someone with a similar request who was full of points like yours about how she can do everything from home and it was so much easier to concentrate and be productive (this is what everyone says) she really struggled to demonstrate this in any real way on the flexible working request. They have their reasons for making you come in, and you need to show that the advantages of you wfh don’t impact them. You won’t find that easy.

This

You've told them you're going to take the piss! Of course they refused.

Do you have a HR department? You have a right to submit a flexible working request formally requesting hybrid, however you CANNOT look after kids and WFH.

If your kids are 12 and can look after and entertain themselves fair enough but you cannot look after young children while working. Nearly every organisation stipulates this in their WFH policy, and this might be why they are reluctant to let you do it.

It is frustrating but I would look for an alternative. But WFH shouldn’t be used for childcare for children in my view below around secondary age, unless they are super mature. They are a distraction.

Have you made a proper formal request?

If not do so.

DO NOT bring your childcare into it other than to say you have some so your child won't be there. You shot yourself in the foot a little bit there.

Why don't you put in a statutory flexible working request... Then they have to reply in writing and giving one of a limited mum bet of reasons, though business needs is one.

This, people thinking it’s ok to do this is ruining wfh for everyone.

Yep they don’t owe you anything OP. You signed a contract to work in the office, they can refuse hybrid working- it’s not the job they hired you for.

There are hybrid jobs out there you can move to if this is important to you.

I’d just look for a new job tbh.

When you say admin… is it reception / office manager type role? I think it’s often perceived that you need to be in the office to do these roles.

Regarding childcare… you can’t WFH and care for children because it’s half term. You wouldn’t really be focused on your role.

She has the right to request hybrid working under a flexible working policy.

I think the childcare issue blurs it a lot - I won't approve WFH when the request is linked to childcare, as you can't WFH and care for a child at the same time. I obviously make an exception in emergencies when a staff member says they'll make up any time lost.
Have that's what is clouding their judgement? Have you tired asking for one-off WFH to concentrate on a project or piece if work so you can demonstrate reliability and productivity?