To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

It's a much longer problem than just coffee, I have hosted her and her family in my house for years and years and years and not once has she returned the favour. I never did it to get an invite back but maybe 2 years ago I stopped arranging (and catering!) get togethers and now we hardly see each other. Or she constantly suggests going for a coffee which fucks me off.

I get it - we've had worse times when kids were really young - when I was literally hunting for pennies in bags and down sofa to add to piles for the week spending - and doing without prescription meds and copying with leaking shoes. However always had hope things would improve for us and they did.

Now since covid - we've massive cut backs and reduced outgoings increased income - with associated stress - and every month things just get more expensive - it's like we are running to stay still.

Now we're also older and it seems like this is the way it is possible forever. It's endless rising costs, shrinkflation and cheaper options disappearing.

I just popped out for milk and bread we do big shop for month start of next week- we gone though all UHT milk and likely this milk won't last till then - 2 loaves one in reduced section and two bottles of milk £5.01. Then DH wanted to look in charity shop - £10 - 2 pairs of good nick reputable brand trousers - will come in for DS for Christmas - it's still 15 pounds I was not expect to spend and now likely spend I have to do midweek for DD1 will push me into over draft again - which will get worse next as credit card comes in next month as DD2 had quiet a few school things that went on that last month- which means next month will be yet another tight month. Doesn't feel like I'm living the high life and our income not bad compared to national levels.

vacuous is a grand word.

I don't why this really got to me, can you be honest with your mate ? If they knew I am sure they would stand you the coffee.

To the poster above yes I am a doctor and have seen and worked with people in grinding unremitting poverty my whole career. Suggestions such as adding coconut milk to dhal are vacuous and show less than no empathy or understanding of the psychological and often physical impact that constant preoccupation with having enough resources has on people.

The best dal in the world is dull when that’s all you can eat.

OP you write well. I think I would like you in real life. Can you start something like a blog? I am too old to advise you on how people earn money from that sort of thing but just a thought.

I'm so sorry and really can relate. We've not had a holiday for 7 years and I feel like a shit mum. I got a wage rise recently and something else has totally wiped it out and I am SICK TO DEATH of going round Lidl with my phone out to use the calculator. I've got a friend who keeps suggesting we go for a coffee and I don't have the money for a fucking coffee?

What has that to do with anything ?

I hope you are not a medical doctor.

been out for a walk ( free ) and now we are bickering about a tin of coconut milk.

OP the Gods have not been kind to me. Despite the walking and the teaspoon of dahl a week, I still have various random body parts that belong to other people, sort of strung together somehow.

It was in response to a query from a poster about this very issue and process with regard to poverty in the UK. I said this process worked for me when I was in food poverty myself and had some bad health issues. No insults intended, and I’m not entirely sure how Palestine features into this. I never implied that this was a process for war refugees or victims of genocide that was a panacea. I don’t recall saying that no aid should be given to war refugees and people should just pray for it. I also don’t recall saying that no help should be given to those in poverty in the UK and they should just pray for it. If that was your implication that I thought that, then that is fairly insulting in itself.

Some people pray to a deity or the universe to ask for help, and I don’t find that insulting or problematic either. Maybe it gives some comfort. It gave me some comfort and I felt better, and when I felt better, I felt more proactive. When I was more proactive, better things came my way and I expected them to do so. But that’s just me. I’m sorry if you find prayer insulting or this upsets your religious beliefs in some way.

OP didn’t seem to mind it.

And what do the Palestinians have to do with anything? Have you posted on the wrong thread?

Palestinians, you know what to do! Forget the Prophet and phone the universe!

What a pile of insulting rubbish your post is.

"A millionaire may enjoy breakfasting off orange juice and Ryvita biscuits; an unemployed man doesn't."
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1034643-the-road-to-wigan-pier#:~:text=A%20millionaire%20may%20enjoy%20breakfasting,an%20unemployed%20man%20doesn%27t.

Written by George Orwell nearly 100 years ago.

Anywhere. Don't you know that the UK is the worst place ever, and that emigrating will change your life for the better, guaranteed?

According to too many folk here. Sigh.

I'm so sorry that your are finding things so hard. Please do consider accessing a foodbank if you're struggling this much. It may just take the pressure of a little.

I don't think this is a thread for tips.

If you live near an eastern European shop it would be worth a visit. Some of the stuff they sell is far cheaper than the local supermarkets. It can also be a break from the monotony of same stuff all the time.

Seriously, Seriously read the room.

And if you can actually get there during the limited hours that it's open (less than 3.5 days a week where I live), and if it actually has anything worth reading that you haven't already read.

New books were out in paperback and discounted in Waterstones long before you'd get to the top of the list for the one or two copies they'd bought for the entire sodding county

Yes I know. That’s what I said isn’t it?

Well they have said they won't hammer working people. Hopefully it will just be the buy to let landlords and those with a lot of assets that will be hit. I guess we will have to wait and see !

It can be frozen. Sometimes they sell huge ones cheap, and you can just freeze. So a good tip.

Tesco own brand is 79p. It’s not a staple but I do occasionally have it (always the unbranded). I think it can be frozen as well so could be used for several dishes. If someone wants coconut milk that is.

Op, please google food clubs near you. They don't require any referral and I found a lot of the time they have treats you can get as well. The one I go to is in a domestic abuse charity.

Just make sure to change the water every couple of days!