Won’t take no for an answer

She doesn't mean well. Stop going for coffee with her and tell her it's because she doesn't respect your choices.

Trying to think of friends motivation …. You give her valid reason, but she’s just not listening. I can only think she’s just not listening to you.

I have a friend with whom I recently needed to have firm words with about my not drinking. I’ve told her that I have given up for one year. I will have glass of champagne in my birthday in few months. I’ve told her, it’s my decision. I’ve saved so many calories and money and feel great. Anyway, recently, again, she ordered wine for me and I had to practically shout at waiter. No bottle - one glass for HER.

I used firm tone - I said - Alice, I’ve told you many times over past 8 months, that I have given up alcohol, ALL alcohol. I don’t mind if you drink, but you ordering me a wine is really insensitive and rude. You have done it so many times, I try to be nice about it but you bringing me a bottle, ordering me a wine when I always say I’m not drinking and today is the last time.
Alice got upset & teary … which is her making it all about her. But she has stopped.
You need to be firm. She needs to respect you and not just think of herself. She is not being kind, she’s being a jerk.

Try Dry is a great app to help monetize drinking. & motivate stopping.

tell her you're trying to eliminate those foods from your diet. if she keeps trying after that then what a shitty friend and ask yourself whether she is looking out for your best interests

.

Is she overweight too? Maybe she’s jealous of the control you’re displaying by saying no

Rather than saying I’m trying to lose weight say some thing like I’m stuffed from earlier or I can’t eat now now because it gives me indigestion. Also just never eat the cake rather than giving in.

I find the people who criticise your own eating habits are often feeling very insecure about their own. I've had a lot of stick over the years for not wanting cake. I just don't want cake. If I wanted cake, I'd have cake. People are the same with alcohol. It seems like if your plate or cup doesn't look similar to theirs, they start to worry that they've got too much in front of them. Then they try to add to your plate/cup to make themselves feel better. They're making your eating habits all about them which isn't particularly sensitive or thoughtful.

Just keep repeating no thank you/ i dont want any.
A woman at my work was like this with the tin of sweets at christmas. Every hour or two she would do a round of the office. If you said no she went all mrs doyle on you.
She ended up putting them on my desk 🤣. They were still there on her next round.

She cant force feed you. If she buys you one and gets annoyed you dont eat it just say i told you i didnt want one You have it

Meet and get a takeaway coffee then go for a walk? Away from the cake temptation and also increasing the step count. Win win?

She sounds like she’s not listening to you or respecting you. I couldn’t be bothered with that sort of nonsense.

I know it might seem like a cop out, because it doesn't address the problem, but I have a friend like that and I've found that meeting for brunch works a million times better. Even when she invariably tries to insist I have the calorific french toast, I can be enthusiastic and say how much I fancy poached eggs.

It probably is a cop out, but apart from that quirk we have a very nice catch up and she understands particular aspects of my life more than other friends, so I don't want to stop seeing her.

Meet somewhere that isn't a coffee shop or if that's difficult can you take something with you that you would be happy to eat.

But the ideal scenario is you keep saying NO and stick to it.

It’s interesting how these sensitive people are so insensitive to other people, isn’t it?

Personally I’d deal with it head on but people on here are strangely unable to advocate for themselves so I’m guessing that may not be an option.

You say you don't want to upset her because she's sensitive but she's not sensitive to your wishes is she?
The more you explain, the more opportunities you give her to talk you around
I think " No, I don't want any" will suffice
Get used to saying it before you meet up if you find it hard
She's rude

Do the blind repetition thing.

Offers of cake: "no thanks" the first time, then "I've already said no" every other time.

Comments on diet/weight: "I don't need diet advice, thanks" the first time, then drop the thanks every other time.

Repeat word for word every single time!

Why do you think she means well? I think you need to be extremely blunt. Tell her before you go out that she can absolutely eat what she wants but you need her to be supportive or you will leave. You need to do this for your health.

How about meeting for lunch instead? Somewhere with some healthy choices on the menu?

“Do you want to see me dying of a heart attack, stroke or developing diabetes?”

Ask her that hen she keeps insisting. A bit shocking but perhaps but might make her think?

I too would say no to meeting up if she's not going to respect your life choices.

That sounds good, @Futurethinking2026 , but I think I would be tempted to leave out "I won't be able to meet you anymore"

How about:
X, when you keep asking me to eat cake it makes our time together not as enjoyable, even though you mean well. I would love it if you would just stop.

She'll have to take no for an answer 🤷‍♂️

Also, can you avoid meets where food may be involved?

But ultimately it's tough shit anyway if no is your answer.

X, if you keep asking me to eat cake I won’t be able to meet you anymore. You mean well but it’s making the time with you not as enjoyable.