To find this annoying? Or am I being a video game snob?

My DP & I both game, him a lot more than I do, I tend to read or enjoy colouring in as well. He does on the weekends occasionally do some late nights, sometimes not coming to bed until 4am. He is a grown adult & has the choice he can either do this on the night where he’ll get a lay in the next morning, or do it on the night he knows he is the one to get up with the kids. Which sometimes he does & he will get up with the kids no issue. If he wants to play during the day, I usually say to him he can do all the tidying before hand so it leaves me with very little to do other than dinner & he will also do bedtime for out 3 year old. If I feel like the kids are being a bit much I’ll ask him to come help.

I think gaming or hobbies is fine but you have to have boundaries or he games on the Saturday then you have the Sunday to yourself ect.

Oh are you the OP and this is your thread? No, your point is about leaving your partner to deal with children while you game. MY point was referring to a comment made by another PP (unless that’s you as well?) who said ‘I don’t game because I’m a grown adult’. I literally quoted it in my post.

You busied yourself replying to @JubileeJuice when she wasn’t even talking about you, she was talking about the other comment.

I got myself a Steamdeck so can game while sitting in the same room as DS, who is usually playing Minecraft or Geometry Dash.

Hiding in a shed surrounded by rubbish is something else - it's not about the gaming, it's about his attitude to family life.

Yanbu. You weren’t “relaxing”, you were in the thick of childcare with 2 v small children!

It doesn’t sound like you’re being snobby about gaming, it sounds like you’re rightfully resentful of him having hours and hours of child-free hobby time at your expense and doesn’t seem to want to spend any time with you or as a family. I don’t blame you tbh.

It’s literally the entire point of the thread my dear.

YANBU at all! Thats ridiculous and I’d be unhappy with that situation.

My DH is into gaming, but it’s weekend afternoons (appropriate games whilst kids are also playing things on Switch) and evenings when they’re in bed only, he always finishes before 10 because we get sorted and go upstairs then. We’re always sat in the same room chatting as well. I don’t mind because it’s never felt like the exclusion of the rest of us, some evenings we’ll watch a few episodes of something together also. In moderation gaming is fine - to excess like that and excluding family isn’t healthy at all.

If course, but it'll reduce it down to oh she doesn't like me gaming rather than the crux of the issue which is that he can't be bothered to spend time with you or the children much when you're all home together. They're 2 different conversations imo.

I enjoy gaming so don't see the issue with that as much as the fact he isn't bothering to spend time with you or the children much. Of course all parents should get downtime and time to themselves to do stuff they enjoy, but they'll notice that he'd rather sit alone in his shed than spend time with them but also with you; their view on relationships will be formed in part by what they witness growing up and that's sad. I wouldn't mention gaming as the issue to him, but the time spent alone when his children are up and about.

I would be inclined to take your DC into the shed and go out for a few hours (to relax!)

It doesn't matter whether it's gaming or another hobby, he's not involved in family life and he shouldn't shut himself off from you all like that- it's not ok but you know that. If he's out in the shed then turn the heating up next time and think about whether this is what you really want

I think I would have taken the children out to the shed during the afternoon and told him to mind them while I went out - shopping, meet a friend for coffee or just go for a walk. And then go, no looking back!

I game and occasionally my DS and I game together, joined by DH as well. My DH managed is a recently retired science Prof and I also worked in higher education for close to 30 years so we are possibly actually grown up. I do loathed the anti gaming on MN. There is nothing wrong with actual gaming its his checking out of family life that’s the issue. Just like if he say fiddling about with a stamp collection, train set, or a myriad of other hobbies in his shed for those same hours.

Millions of ‘grown adults’ love video games. Your dig at a hobby enjoyed by so many people is pathetic. The issue isn’t the hobby, it’s the fact he’s entirely checked out of all family life and responsibilities.

Time to start lining up the ducks.

Not really… I have things that Ds enjoys doing with me that he doesn’t do with his dad - he’s very interested in birds and animals and we do a lot of bird spotting together (!) and go on a lot of walks. Dh and Ds do play together a bit but they tend to like different games and Ds now plays together online with his friends from school really. But they (dh and Ds) chit chat a lot about games.

I think you have to find time for family stuff so it’s not all about gaming all the time. When Ds was little there was no way dh would have shut himself off in a shed gaming for the day!

It would be different if your dc were older - pre teens or teens and everyone was doing their own thing (that’s how we are currently, Ds is 13 and is as much of a gamer as dh, they both have their own gaming rooms and I like to crochet in front of the tv - we do go out every day together as a family and eat together etc etc, lots of family time) but your dc are little and need a lot of attention and supervision. He’s being very unreasonable.

Yes @TinkerTiger that comment was just sneery to the many gamers on this site (female mostly).

Luckily I have no kids and as partner is out doing "his hobby" -it's actually flying! So outing! -I can spend the day gaming.

Or trying to decide which game I fancy then installing or updating something and not actually playing

That’s besides the point. The comment was ‘I don’t game because I’m a grown adult’. Nothing to do with shirking responsibility, it’s just a sneer.

YANBU OP - he's taking the absolute piss and opting out of family life.

(Although I get so sick of 'gaming is a hobby for children' on these threads. Ditto 'ugh pathetic men needing to play their little games'. It's really weird! Gaming is a perfectly normal hobby! It's the amount of time/when he's doing it that's shit.)

Games are fantastic....

Games are for FREE time....

Ops OH is using games to avoid family time. That is a problem. I've seen it time and time again. If it's not games its:
Cycling
Fishing
Golf
Football watching and playing

Op you should be getting equal time to do your hobbies and interests, if you're not, there's an issue.

You need to give him chance to change, if he doesn't, great... If he doesn't... He leaves

It's not fair that he is making you the default parent. DH is a gamer, but he mostly games in the evening when the kids are in bed. If we are home at the weekend, he'll probably do an hour in the afternoon but then do something with the kids whilst I do what I want for an hour (usually read a book in peace).