Is it normal for a mom to say I have to wait for a hug until after dinner?

Sounds like perhaps she was anticipating that giving you a hug will evolve into a hugging session that was perhaps too long for her as she knew she needed to eat first?

I think this is about more than just that hug at that moment.

It sounds like you're struggling with how you think your mum sees and treats you more as a friend or sister, when you feel you need a mother.

Wow, some people on here are cold. You’d really sit and finish a meal while your daughter cried in front of you before comforting her?
My daughter wouldn’t even need to ask for a hug.

I think the context of her not being that maternal makes all the difference here. If she was otherwise very affectionate you probably wouldn't have felt too bad about the odd refusal or delay of a hug here and there. Maybe your mum was exhausted. Or maybe she was all touched out or something. So in isolation I wouldn't worry about it though I guess in the moment it must have felt very bad.

I'll always comfort my kids when they are upset but sometimes I do have to cut short a hug or say later, please, when we are in the middle of something or getting late. Especially before school the kids love to give very, very long hugs (like 5 min) and we don't hqve time for that. My younger one loves stroking our faces (which is like getting affectionately punched by a little bear) and as much as I love sometimes i just don't want him to and I do tell him. I think it's important for him to learn that you need to respect when other people say no to physical touch.

Edit: I didn't realise this happened when you were an adult. The other stuff you wrote about using you to hit on men is quite bad but as an adult I do think you need to learn to take other people's boundaries not so personally. But then again maybe it hurt more because of your history together and her lack of affection in the past.

I don't understand, were you a child or was she visiting you as an adult?

You don't feel safe? 🫠🫠🫠🫠 honestly how ridiculous. In the kindest of ways you need to grow a backbone.

I think this could have been a misunderstanding. I think maybe she wanted to devote time to the hug and time to comfort you properly. Her immediate need was hunger (never underestimate how much you need to eat on time when you get older!). I think that you meant that you needed a hug immediately.

I would talk to her about it. It’s exactly the kind of thing my mum would have done and I know how much she loved me. And I also know how much she needed to eat on time.

One day I was upset and crying to my mom as had a bad day and suddenly became overwhelmed, I asked my mom for a hug and she said “I will after… let me eat my dinner first” Is this normal behaviour for a mom?

I’m confused.

Is this something that happened when you were a small child?

Because this is not normal behaviour for an adult child.

Google rejection sensitivity.

Was she in the middle of either cooking or actually eating dinner? I wouldn't expect her to get up from her meal to give a hug. It all depends on the context really. I think it's fairly normal for a mum or anyone to agree to do something but at a time that is convenient.

I am with you on this OP, if my DD is upset/crying, I will drop anything to comfort her. She knows I will always be there for her.

I’m sorry you felt upset by this, but did you think that maybe your mum was a bit overwhelmed too and needed to eat? Your mum is a person too, she has needs and flaws and isn’t a hug machine. Don’t blow this up into something much bigger than it is.