Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give son pocket money

35 replies

Osory · 26/10/2024 09:20

My son has just started engineering in Uni. It's a local college so he's living at home. We paid tuition and pay for DSs food, board, phone, gym, travel.
Have asked him to get a job to pay for other things - one shift a week maybe in local pub. He says he doesn't have time as is so busy with college and clubs.
Do most parents give pocket money while in college?
He's not split at all, asks for nothing really but seems under pressure with college

OP posts:
Catza · 26/10/2024 10:15

Presumably, he is 18+ so is perfectly capable of working out what his priorities are. If it is playing basketball and music in friend's houses, then he sucks it up being skinned throughout college. If he wants to go out and pay for his protein and lunches, he will find the time to do some work by giving up basketball and hanging out in friends' houses. If you continue giving him money, he is not likely to be "keen" to work, Is he?

Dishwashersaurous · 26/10/2024 10:14

OK. Would be helpful to explain not in the UK, as that is what most people will assume and will think about the UK universities funding approach etc.

What is normal where you are and what do all his friends do?

Original poster
Osory · 26/10/2024 10:13

Detchi · 26/10/2024 10:12

How does he otherwise pay for nights out, protein powder, lunches out etc?

He's currently using birthday money (which is about to run out) and we give him the odd bit

OP posts:
Detchi · 26/10/2024 10:12

How does he otherwise pay for nights out, protein powder, lunches out etc?

Original poster
Osory · 26/10/2024 10:08

Geneticsbunny · 26/10/2024 10:00

Did he know you would just be covering basics before the summer? If he had time to save up some money and chose not to then I would leave him to it. He will work out a way to make some extra money.

He didnt work during the summer. First few weeks he was recouping after a really tough leaving cert year and then the time was too broken up with trips/holidays.

I didn't even suggest working in the past.. As he's simple needs doesn't really ask for anything, plays basketball and music in his friends houses. Wears the same clothes for years etc.

He's always been a 'cheap' teenager but now it would be nice if he worked maybe one shift a week to supplement nights out, protein powder, lunches at college etc.

I have suggested it a few times but he's not keen , says he has no time. So not sure whether to leave him to it or start giving him a bit of pocket money.

Uni thankfully isnt expensive in county we live in (3k contribution per year). There isn't really a student loan system as a result and I wouldn't want him getting a normal loan. After that it's groceries, phone, gym, bus... So not massive costs but it does add up.. just not sure if I'm being a bit mean not giving him a bit pocket money - we are comfortable financially (if having a nice life but constantly overspending is covered by that definition!)

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 26/10/2024 10:03

Student loan is the answer.

Logically might make more sense for him to take a loan for fees and you pay his living costs which will be much less than uni fees

Geneticsbunny · 26/10/2024 10:00

Did he know you would just be covering basics before the summer? If he had time to save up some money and chose not to then I would leave him to it. He will work out a way to make some extra money.

crumblingschools · 26/10/2024 09:33

DS is doing engineering degree. He doesn’t work during term time, but would have time to do at least one shift at weekend. However, he works all through the holidays to build up his funds. He gets minimum loan and at the moment only gets £100 a month and his phone bill paid by us.

Agix · 26/10/2024 09:29

No. If he's too busy with college and clubs, when he has he got time to spend and enjoy this pocket money anyway?

Detchi · 26/10/2024 09:29

If you are paying for all that then surely he has the option of getting a student loan if he can't/won't work.

How does what you give him compare with the max maintenance loan amount available to students living at home? That is some sort of benchmark at least. I would not anticipate giving him extra pocket money but I do think he needs some agency to make his own decisions.