To not give son pocket money

yes I don't think work is possible, or a good choice, for all young people, especially those with disabilities. But even those who can't can still take more ownership than your son is having ATM. Learn to budget and make choices even if it's with a student loan.

Volunteering can be a good bridge if they struggle. Obviously it doesn't immediately solve the money problem but it builds towards getting a job.

Think flexibly too. Zero hours contract, lots of work in hols and very little in term time suits my autistic daughter well. For term time work most employers (well here anyway) tend to want at least one full day a week, ie either one full weekend day or two evenings. That is too much for her to manage so she works hols instead. She enjoys it a lot more than she thought she would.

The diagnoses is quite a drip feed as he is likely to be using significantly more brain power to study than the rest of his cohort due to his disabilities and therefore is likely to end up in burnout if he does too much. Sport is useful for keeping some of the hyper aspects of add at bay.

So with that additional information, I suggest he gets a volunteering role with his chosen sport, does a coaching or refereeing qualification and learns work skills via that route. But it would be less new things to learn and be a familiar environment. If he did volunteer work I would compensate him for his time as if it were a normal job.

Abroad I have no clue but as others say, kids at uni get loans. If you can afford it then I guess give him something? But tell him you'll give him only bare minimum till he gets a job. If he's responsible and works then you could say you'll pay into his savings for when he graduates.

Give him an amount to budget and let him get his own phone, gym, travel etc
That way he builds a credit rating

He is an adult so it is not "pocket money " it s you supporting him to study

DS understands that he can pick up his sport if he decides to heads to uni. It's just temporary.

DS17 had to give up a weekend sport to accommodate his current work schedule. They need him at weekends as he's at school during the week. Something has to give. He can go back to his sport when he leaves his part time job.

Getting a job could be the making of him but he won't do it off his own bat if he doesn't need to. It's often not just laziness IMO, there can be a lot of deep down being terrified/feeling they are not good enough. Easy to hide behind "I'm so busy" and some of them are just genuinely overwhelmed. It doesn't sound like that is the case here though.

I think you'd be helping him more to draw a clearer boundary around what you give him so he can start to take control of his finances. This is part of what uni is about. Give him the agency to decide for himself, don't tell him what to do but also a bit of discomfort is no bad thing. Personally I would add up what you give him and compare to some sort of independent benchmark (which would be max maintenance loan here in England) for perspective.

He has never had any need to get a job as he has always had access to money by the sounds of it.

You might find a few months of being skint will encourage him to get a job or he'll wait till he gets more money at Christmas.

Im a big fan of providing for 'needs' and 'wants' are funded by the child once they hit 16 and can get a job. No one is going to want to recruit a graduate with no work experience when they have the pick of those that have developed work place and time management skills whilst doing their degree orin the holidays.

Bank rolling won't do him any long term favours.

Wow, OP. I think he extremely fortunate to have such a supportive parent who is able and willing to pay for virtually everything whilst he is at uni. He is, after all, an adult. I think getting a job if he wants extras is a non-negotiable. It will also set him up because having no work experience at all will not work in his favour once he has finished his degree. He wouldn't have to work much at all, less than 10 hours a week would be enough. He would be working for pocket money and experience, not living expenses.

Op, Irish person here as well. I think it would be good for him to get a job. You are paying for a lot here. My mam and Dad expected me to work during college and it really did prepare me for the working world. It's so expensive now between books, materials, and if he wants a social life, he needs to fund it. I think he'll get a shock when you stop doing for good otherwise.

For context, I did history and english in uni and then my postgraduate in teaching. I taught for free 8-1 everyday during teacher training , college 2-6 and Thurs , Fridays, Saturday and Sunday worked in late night retail and all day on weekends.

My son is at uni doing the same thing, he works 1 day a week and 1 evening at the weekend and earns plenty for fun things and increasing savings. Your son is having a laugh.

"Just covering basics"...have I read that right? They are literally paying for EVERYTHING for him. Apart from his fun money.

It's Ireland I presume. As we call our final school exams the Leaving Cert

Or maybe he can but then it is his choice that he has no money

It would be good for him to start to learn that compromises need to be made. He can't do uni and all the sports because he won't have any money.

Having a part time job is generally brilliant preparation for adult life.

Yeah I agree with you, whilst he is in the first few years then a job of some kind would be good for him. Does he need driving lessons? The money he earns could pay for them or go towards a car/insurance when he graduates if he doesn't spend much. Will he be doing the j1? I'm sure extra money would be useful for him at some point in the future!

Again, it would help to know what country to help know what level of uni work is expected. In the UK engineering can be done pretty much within a 9-5 5 day week with an occasional crazy late night or weekend so it is perfectly possible to have a part time job. Not sure about the requirements elsewhere. Also, if he waits till the end of uni to try to get a job and has no work experience at all it may be very difficult for him to get anything. Employers can be quite wary of people who have never worked.

@Osory is it Ireland where you are? My partner and now his younger sister studied engineering in Ireland whilst living at home. They both got part time jobs but partner did quit for the final year to focus on college.

DS 17 has a job he does at weekends and really loves going in. No excuse for not working tbh. There are loads of jobs part time which offer flexibility for young people. DS has learned to be good with time management.

He makes time to get a job, plenty of seasonal work right now. Thousands of students every year have no choice. First year is not that time consuming.

He doesn't need protein powders or a gym membership. Stop paying for them. If he wants them, he goes out and earns the money for them.