To wish we hadn’t bought this house

Your dh is awful 😳😳😳😳

Easy for others to say hurtful things. Difficulty is letting the comments go over your head. Result is you're more likely to get beaten down.
Time to start putting some work in. Concentrate on you, your resilience and confidence, your life with your kids and what you want for the future.

To the creepy neighbour... "Yes, we bought it outright." Or just smile and mn headtilt.

The jobber you live with is the real problem. It won't be long before he starts putting the pressure on for you to work more hours and you'll be stuck doing everything for the children and firefighting a house which is falling into disrepair.

It happened to me. I left.

It's quite easy to find out you just look at sold prices for the street and rightmove has them all listed.

Stop talking to this annoying busybody know-it-all.

But your real problem is your awful husband. Try to find out where you stand if you divorce him.

I am in a group of new builds. I have looked up what others paid and I did pay more than my attached neighbour and some others. But I know they are relatives of the builder! - I bite the bullet.

Ignore the neighbour. I find it bizarre that he should keep telling you - once is entirely enough.

I am sorry that you are married to such an unpleasant man. Only you can decide what to do about that.

Slightly off topic here...Your DH saying that "it's his money and you don't contribute" has given me the rage. I presume that you were the one looking after the kids 24/7 (and sacrificing your career, earning ability and pension payments), thus facilitating his ability to work, further his career and get "his" money, without him having to worry about childcare, covering days when the kids were sick etc? How bloody dare he say that you don't contribute!! You contribute massively.

My lovely DF had a high flying job in banking (very high income, lots of work overseas, long hours etc). I'm the 3rd of 4 siblings, and my DM was an SAHM from when I was born (she had worked when my older two siblings were younger but a back injury put paid to that). My DF never ever disrespected the contribution she made to the family as he was very aware it enabled him to be able to provide for the family and further his career, and he made sure that we knew that too. He ensured that her name was put on property they owned etc. He also ensured that they had joint and personal accounts, he paid into a private pension and savings for her (accounts solely in her name) and never once said anything about it all being "his money", as if it were not for her, he wouldn't be able to work in that job. He never once questioned if they needed maintenance work on the house etc. He ensured that Mum got time to go away to see her family, do her hobbies and see her friends. They worked around each other to support each other and were a bloody brilliant team.

I'm the breadwinner myself (and a single mum) and I know the cost of childcare, the cost of having to juggle work and parenting (i.e. when your kid is sick and you have to stay home with them)...and how only now that my kids are a bit older/more independent (and I'm not relying on childcare), I'm able to progress my career and earning potential. You make a huge contribution....don't ever forget it x

As for your house value....who cares? None of anyone's business, so ignore the neighbour! Surely if it is your home, and you plan to stay there long term, it shouldn't matter what it's value is, as long as mortgage payments are kept up etc...it's a home and a roof over your head. Sod what the neighbour thinks!! Are you able to DIY the painting? I need to look into doing some painting in my house! It bloody needs it!

It doesn't have to be, they're married.

How is it not your house. You are married. His house is your house.

Ignore the stupid neighbour, he seems obsessed. The simple fact is that house prices fluctuate. Is the house in joint names?

It’s very clear your neighbour is no economist. Let me guess he’s a man? You’re stuck between 2 imbeciles. 1 you can tell it’s none of his business and stop engaging. The other you can have a serious conversation with as he seems equally unintelligent to think all marital value sits with him.

Your husband is the issue here. If he chose the house and you had no input then he is being abusive. If it now needs maintenance and he won't arrange it then he's also being abusive. Why? Because he can't have this all his own way. He wants the house he wants, but demands you sort out the maintenance.
What else does he do that is unreasonable?

Have you costed your contribution as tho you were a nanny to his kids?

Pay for a house what you can afford and what it is worth to you at that time! I would calmly inform my neighbour I had no intention of moving therefore pay little to no attention to the market. Dont rise to the prick- he’ll get bored.

Is the house in your name aswel as your husbands?

Your husband sounds like a jerk.

I think I’d be getting my ducks in order.

When we bought our house I felt like we over payed. It was a buyers market but we ended up paying over the asking price. We wanted the house ultimately and the vendor wasn’t budging.
It bothered me for a while but we’ve been here 12 years now and it’s certainly increased in value. So ignore the neighbour. The house is not the problem.

Your husband on the other hand is the problem

Your husband sounds really nasty.
Forget your neighbour.
Call Womens aid for a chat because you sound as if you are in a controlling abusive relationship.

Never mind the house. You should be wishing you never married your DH!
Any DH that says “my money” doesn’t deserve to be married.

Also, your neighbour is taking out of his arse. You bought your house for the value that it was at the time. House prices fluctuate! My neighbour bought their house for 120k more than we paid for ours 5 years prior, and we paid 40k more than another neighbour paid 1 year prior.
That’s the housing market for you

❤️ nailed it

The problems you describe sound fairly normal wear and tear and nothing to be embarrassed about. I thought you were going to say it was an awful area with no amenities and the garden was flooding and there's no storage and the windows don't fit properly and some of the things that sometimes come with new housing, but chipped paint and leaky bathrooms are no unusual. We live in an Edwardian terrace and we had all of that within a few years of redecorated.

TBH I think you need to let go of the price thing - it cost what it cost and you neighbour is being snide old git going on about it.

You do contribute - how much would you pay an excellent nanny for all these years of childcare to enable his career? I hope he gives you at least that amount, start stashing it away to get your own place for when if you divorce. The house is legally 50% yours.

I paid £550k for a house that the previous owners paid £400k for 5 years earlier - maybe the neighbour hasn't heard of this thing called inflation.

When the neighbour next approaches you re the house just say yes you have mentioned it before but we are happy in the house thank you. Then walk away.
Your husband cannot say you do not contribute as you are bringing up his children. That is a job. If he doesn’t listen to your concerns I would look to increase your part time hours and leave him eventually.

Your husband is a cunt

You're a family unit, you're a married couple, it's not just his money and it's not just his house. Regardless of separate accounts, the divorce courts consider it joint money and assets. You were not some freeloading SAHM, you were working for free to take care of your joint home and joint children to facilitate him being to work, to pay for the joint home and joint children you own together as a legally joined couple.

And your husband knows it too! That's why he's being such a cunt. His bullying keeps you right where he wants you - feeling downtrodden and inferior. It's how he keeps the control over everything.

But now you know your husband is a cunt, and that actually you own half of everything, so you can take that knowledge and make changes.

The neighbour is a bellend as well. But that ones easily solved. Just tell him to fuck off. He's just a thicko who needs to shut his cake hole.

Your problem shouldn't be regretting the house, it should be regretting the cunt you married. But again, it can be solved. You can divorce him.

And just in case I didn't really get my point across well enough...

Your husband's a cunt.

House prices rose rapidly in the years around covid so I don’t think an increase like that is to be unexpected, depending what area you are in.

Your biggest problem is your husband not respecting your opinion.

That’s how it works, house prices go up. They also might have done things to it to increase the value

This.

You didn't like the house but your DH said clearly it was his money and you didn't contribute as a SAHM. Why are you then making it your problem?

Unless you have a lot of money, it's rare to buy the perfect house when you get the opening foot into the market. We've all compromised on location, price and what we wanted when we bought our first property.

You are listening too much to neighbours instead of enjoying your house.