To wish we hadn’t bought this house

"as DH kept pointing out it’s his money and I don’t contribute (I’m a stay at home mum but have gone to work part time when kids in school recently)."

He's a cunt. It's that simple.

Your husband seems to fundamentally misunderstand how money and possessions work within marriage.

"all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you".

It's not his house, it belongs to both of you. And his money is your money too. If you weren't married it would be different. Why did he agree to marry you if he didn't want to share his finances?

Just ignore your neighbour. You don't need the stress in your life. Some people are just weird.
Increase your hours if you can and watch YouTube videos to do the DIY or use the extra money to hire someone.
When the house is perfect it will be easier to sell if you want a divorce!

There is no market in the history of capitalism where the prices have always risen with no risk. The UK housing market is no different. People used to say that the housing market in Tokyo was a sure thing.

Just checking, do you have equal access to the household funds or is your husband keeping you poor?

You neighbour is a bully who is making himself feel good at your expense. Seeing your reaction will be firing up his dopamine like nobodies business.

The government's capacity to prop up house prices (a) won't last for ever even if they wanted it to and (b) as the numbers of homeowners keeps decreasing due to higher prices making it harder for young people to buy, the political imperative to support high house prices diminishes.

Guess what happens when the majority of voters are young people priced out of home ownership, rather than old people who own their own home?

Yes. I don’t know why people keep saying they will fall. They won’t fall dramatically unless for example society as we know it collapses, in which case we will have bigger things to worry about.

Sell the house in the divorce, split the equity, lose 180lb of poisonous baggage.

I agree with all of this.

Ignore the shit stirring neighbour - he’s just trying to make you feel crap.

Divorce the husband. He has no respect for you or for your care for your children. How does he think he’d be free to earn that money without spending in childcare if you weren’t around?

So what? I had a neighbour delightedly tell me he bought his house 10 years ago much less than I paid for mine. Yea well 10 years ago that's what the prices were at!
Next time your neighbour starts on this be quite straight with him: 'Thank you Jim you have mentioned this many times. Do you really want to make me feel bad every time I see you? Market forces change over time and I can't change what we paid for it so I'd appreciate it if you could stop talking about it'.
Your problem is your husband. 'His money'? And why can't you organise repairs?
The house is a symptom of a situation you need to get out of.

They won’t. As no government and the bank will not allow it due to the impact on the economy. You might see minor drops and increases, but the only thing you can bet your life on is in the mid to long term property prices will increase.

DH and I sold our old house at a loss during COVID. We moved into our new house that we love. We found out the people who bought our house sold it the following year for £75,000 more than we got. A couple of years later it is valued at nearly £175,000 more than we sold it for because a lot more people are moving into the area so demand is high.

I felt bad about it but DH pointed out that we wouldn't have the house we love if we hadn't sold the old house at that time.

If you love your new house and are happy living there, you paid the price for getting that particular house. It doesn't matter what other people paid for their houses, you have the house you want. And house prices go up and down all the time.

You bought a home, not an investment.

Your neighbour and your DH sound like jackasses. I would stop discussing house prices with them.

House prices will fall in the future. I can't tell you when, and I can't tell you how much, but they will fall. It shouldn't make any difference to anyone though, unless it makes it difficult to remortgage or move, because they're temporarily in negative equity.

The OP and her DH may have overpaid for the house. I've always taken the view that I'm only ever going to buy a house a tiny number of times in my life, and so I'm obviously not going to be good at buying houses, or valuing them. So I had better concentrate on the aspects that are important to me. Will the house keep me warm and dry? Will I be happy living there? Can I afford it?

I don't want to be done over, but realistically, as long as the house is right for me, then it doesn't make too much difference if I pay a bit more than the market price. In return I get the things that are important to me.

So my advice to the OP would be to concentrate on the things that are important to her. Does she really care whether they overpaid for the house? I can see that the neighbour is being annoying about it, but the problem is the neighbour, not the price paid for the house, I think. So the OP might consider what they can do to stop the neighbour from hassling them about the purchase price.

It does seem like the OP is bothered about the maintenance of the house - something that would be an issue for any house that you would buy. Here the problem is the DH, who needs to recognise that the house is a shared asset, and maintenance for the house is a shared decision to be paid for by family money. You're married. His money is family money.

Your husband, when you are divorcing him, will suddenly understand that any equity in the house is half yours.

Let the new owners deal with the neighbours.

How much would your husband have to pay for a full-time nanny and housekeeper for "his" children/home?
THAT'S your monetary worth, if it's that important for him to know.
And yes, he's a dick. It's not "his" house, it's equally yours because you're married. He would find this out pretty sharpish if you were to divorce.

Ignore the neighbour. He’s clearly obsessed and anxious about house prices. And he’s transferring his anxiety to you. I had a neighbour like this only he was obsessed with his roof. My house wasn’t even attached to his but had the same roof and he went on and on about it every time he saw me, frequently had a roofer round to fix things at his house, advising me about what needed doing to my roof, was searching reclamation yards for spare tiles etc.

if he starts on change the subject to the weather or say you are in a rush due to an appointment

House prices go up. Especially with the demand you described. Politely ask the neighbour to stop this now. It's not helpful. Maybe point out you'll sell it for another 100k more.

He does realise that half of it is yours, though? In the event of a divorce and financial settlement?

Starting point on negotiation is 50/50, and assumes you enter the marriage in the 'spirit' of this at the very least. Not to mention his pension, which you are also entitled to a percentage of, given that you're stay at home to raise his family and facilitate his career, at the expense of your career and future financial wellbeing. Because you did that in the 'spirirt' of marriage too.

Where do they get the fucking audacity, that's what I wonder.

Sorry.

You have a husband problem not a house problem.

Nailed answer immediately

You are focusing on your house when your real problem is your husband. A house is worth what people are willing to pay for it at the time, and that's what you were willing to pay. It will go up eventually. The problem is that your husband seems to be financially abusing you. You look after his children which is work. How much would he be paying in childcare if you weren't around? Do you know that other couples who have children pool their money and work to pay for things together?

Maybe you are disappointed because you wanted the house to feel like a happy family home, but no house you ever live in will feel like that because your husband is a shit head.

Honestly if I was you I would consider leaving him and then you will get half the money from the house, buy yourself a new house, and you can get the maintenance money you deserve from your cheap arse husband. Contact women's aid and ask them for advice.

You probably have not overpaid. New build companies always sell the first release of properties cheaper…think of it like tickets on a ship..then later properties are all dearer. Then house prices rise sometimes a lot and sometimes less.You can only buy when you want a house at the prevailing market rate.

It’s none of his business.

Stop fretting about the opinion of someone irrelevant, and start planning how to take control of your financial situation.

If you divorced your husband your settlement would be from the starting point of 50% of the equity value of your home, and 50% of other monies and assets, because you are married. Your contribution of child raising is valued as equal to his work. Then your children would receive maintenance from him too.

He is being abusive by not freely sharing the family money pot now and in the past. I doubt he has been paying contributions into your private pension whilst you were not working / part-time, has he?

You are not Cinderella. What can you do to take back control?

Stop talking to the neighbour. He sounds a bore and you are far too sensitive to his commentary.

Houses are worth what someone is willing to pay for it. You seemingly bought in a 'hot' market so you paid a premium. But you needed a house and you got one. So long as you can afford the mortgage and you are happy to stay in the house for a few more years I wouldn't be too concerned. Long term it will likely balance out.

All houses, even the ones you love with body and soul are shit when you first move in and need work to maintain them. If worst issues you have are a bit of cosmetic paint work then these are easily resolved.

Anyone who is genuinely your friend will not give a shit about your paint work. Likely they won't even notice especially if you pour them a very large glass of wine. I recommend you spend more time doing this btw, you sound like you need some support/perspective other than Mr Neighbour.

How well do you understand your family finances? How much disposable income do you have for fixing the paint work? If money is tight and your husband is concerned about budgeting then maybe there isn't the funds for it at the moment. But he could communicate that rather than snip at you to pay for it. If you're rolling in it and money no object then yes he's an arse.

Ultimately your marriage is inequitable and you have no power because you're not earning. I'd focus on trying to improve your income and then you have more scope to make decisions.