To wish we hadn’t bought this house

Ain't nothing wrong with the bricks and mortar.

Remind the neighbour that in your experience, men who brag the loudest have a small penis.

Remind DH that you are equal and he if doesn't give his head a wobble, he'll be giving you half the house in the divorce.

Nope, he's wrong. Our new build has doubled in price over 10 years. I'd image all but the most woefully neglected houses appreciate over time.

And despite what your DH thinks as you're married the house a marital asset, so he can point out all he wants it matters not.

As long as the husband takes on 50% of childcare and chores then that is fair enough and would enable OP to get a decent job. If he won't take on any of that responsibility then she can't work f/t and his income has to be shared to reflect that.

Why is everyone blaming the husband? Maybe he didn't want his wife to be SAHM and he begrudges having to pay for everything whilst she moans about the state of the house? Maybe she needs to contribute more so they can fix the house problems? There's nothing worse than somebody who doesn't contribute financially demanding things that cost money.

This. With bells on.

It's obvious what you meant.

Your neighbour is a twat.

Your husband is a controlling bully.

File for divorce and get a new home.

House prices have gone up in 4 years what do you expect

This

The neighbour and the husband are both pricks

I think the only time you need to worry about the price of your house is when you finally decide to divorce your ghastly husband OP.

You need to reframe your thoughts on your house. Ignore your idiot neighbour - house prices have increased massively over the last few years.

Regarding the house, sorting out those stains is an easy fix - buy a stain blocker, paint it on and then repaint over the stains when dry. Maybe assert yourself a bit more with your husband, who does sound rather bullying. Don't let other people put you off your house, you're very fortunate to own one. My daughter is incredibly practical whereas her husband isn't and she does most of the DIY and decorating!!! This could be you!!!!

Why don’t you get the house valued to see what you are dealing with? How do you know what what the neighbour is saying is fact?

I think you need a new husband who understands there’s no such thing as “his” money and “your” money in a marriage. Best way for him to find out this lesson is when he loses 50% of “his” money in the divorce. You can sell the house in the process and that’s your other problem solved.

That's not at all true. A marriage is a solemn contract between two people that involves a number of rights and obligations with regard to children, property, money and behaviour.

Everything is deemed to be jointly owned and usually in childless marriage the division of assets starts at 50/50 unless there is a pre-nup but if children are involved and the wife has given up work to look after the children then she may well be entitled to more than half depending on their circumstances. Whatever the circcumstances, he will be ordered to provide for them financially until they are 18. It is possible that he may be ordered to provide financially for his wife too. She will also be entitled to a share of his pension because of the length of the marriage and because she's taken a break in her career to look after their children. It's possible that if there are not sufficient assets to divide and be able to buy two houses with one being large enough for the children then she will be entitled to stay in the house and he would have to rent elsewhere and it would only be sold when the youngest child reaches 18.

The OP is in a financially abusive relationship and her husband needs to be told in no uncertain terms what the future looks like for him financially if he doesn't start properly valuing his wife's contribution to their marriage.

Your neighbour is horrid
but you really have a dh problem

the vast majority of money spent on our house was dh’s, thanks to his significantly higher salary and a recent inheritance.
But he’d never suggest it was anything other than our house and anything that needs doing is a joint responsibility. I often organise it, though it will get paid for from the joint account which will always be technically mostly his money

House prices go up. Shock. Has anyone noticed this happening at any time in the last 20 years?

Op, we rented a house when we first lived here. We couldn't buy, and the house we rented type was going for £120k. We then came into a bit of money just at the point our landlady needed to sell (it was her mum's house and she needed it for care) about 18 months later.
We got it valued, and paid slightly less than current market value at £160k.
It went on the market around 5 years later at £250k, which was current price, but things dropped heavily over the next year and we ended up selling at at again slightly less than market value at £170k.
8 years later, it went back on the market and sold at £435k.

If we'd had a crystal ball and been able to predict the market, then we'd have done much better. However, you do what you need to do at the time. If we'd had the money and bought when we first moved here, we'd have saved around £60k (price of house, plus rent paid). But we couldn't and didn't.

Don't look at what others pay. Even two very similar houses can go for different amounts, 6 months apart. If you've never been keen on the house that's probably effecting how you feel about doing things though. Maybe if you start making a list of things needing to be done, then you'll be able to work through this.

If you are really concerned about the price paid for the neighbours house you could send on line for the land registry documents for their house. It takes a couple of minutes and costs £3. @wishihadntgottgishouse

You’re entitled to atleast half of everything in his name. Not his… joint money. Get that into your head. then get a therapist and build some self esteem.

Why is he allowing the house to get into disrepair when you are at home and could fix things yourself?

Gosh, there are 2 big issues going on here, at least. Your neighbour needs to stop bringing up the price difference and that you were scammed and so on. That's probably the easiest thing to fix, grey rock him. The fact that you paid more for your house isn't surprising, property prices have been rising!

However, the main issue is your DH who is talking about 'his' money. Even though he is the breadwinner surely he sees the money as belonging to you both? In a marriage you share everything!

Also, why is he allowing the house to get into a state of disrepair? If he does have debts, why isn't he telling you? He seems resentful and non-communicative.

Any house price is arbitrary. A house is worth what someone will pay for it at any given time. The good news is that when you leave your nasty husband, you are likely to get a share of the value of the house whether you paid towards it or not.

"Everytime I try to speak to him he tells me to use my own money to fix the problems."
This is worrying as it suggests he hasn't got enough money to pay for the repairs - is he in debt - do you know?
It's also terrible that in his mind he thinks the house is all his and he wants you to pay for the upkeep!

“If you mention my house price again , I’ll find a For Sale sign and shove it up your arse”

Some people hold a misplaced grudge. In my parent's small street the council made a bit of waste land into a carpark for 8 cars. The person whose house was nearest wasn't happy and spent the next 10 years moaning at anyone who parked there as his retaliation!

Why are you going on about the neighbour when you are in an abusive marriage?