To wish we hadn’t bought this house

A house is worth what someone is prepared to pay. It sounds like if you hadnt paid that price and nabbed the house someone else would have. So everything that comes out of your twat neighbours mouth is irrelevant. Stop listening to him.

Your actual problem is your total prick of a DH who is treating you like shit

You seem to be fixating on the neighbour, and really who gives a f. k what he thinks, your husband in the other hand, do you really think so low of yourself that you put up with that shit get rid of hubby asap buy yourself a little house that’s yours and you can then look after it yourself

190k is a lot if the first family paid 60k, not so bad if they paid 6m. The % would be helpful to know.
I also paid too much for a new build many years ago, it happens especially when you're under pressure. They look so shiny and attractive with their 'luxury' floors and fittings that then break a few months later. I'd never buy a new build again! But what's done is done, you can't change what you paid, you need to find a way to reconcile yourself to that.

Now onto the real issue in your post....You are in a marriage where your role was sahm, so you contributed to the family that way. You being a sahm allowed your husband to work. The money he earned is not 'his' money, it's family money. he cannot choose the house or choose not to maintain it based on him being a higher earner. I think you need an honest chat about how you both feel so you can move forward.

I think the house is very much a secondary issue to the husband issue.

Your husband sounds horrible.

I just want to join the chorus of those saying this is not a problem of the house or the neighbour, it is your horrible husband who is the problem.

"DH kept pointing out it’s his money and I don’t contribute (I’m a stay at home mum"

DON'T CONTRIBUTE????!!! As a SAHM????!!!!

Start charging him the going rate for childcare.

But I divorced my husband for way less (my ex-H fully respected my role as a SAHP), so honestly, my real advice would be to divorce him. His attitude stinks to high heaven.

Honey forget your neighbhour and focus on your arsehole husband!!

Do not speak to your neighbour, he sounds tedious. Selling houses and 'value' is all down to timing. You weren't in the market for your house 4 years ago so what's the point in hankering after that price.

Huge, huge red flags on your 'D'H. He sounds abusive, particularly saying 'you get no say' - what a dickhead.

If you’re concerned get the house valued

OP, your neighbour sounds like a bored busybody. You can cut his nonsense short next time by being curt and clear. Ignore going forward if need be.

Your far-from-dear H though, is a proper bellend. Ugh, I would find it hard to even look at him. He is treating you appallingly. Think about this rather than focusing on next door knob head and the house value etc.

I suspect your H is unkind in other areas too..

Hi OP, you really must stop talking to your neighbour re this and don't get involved in the nitty gritty of neighbourly conversations. Otherwise, it will be extremely detrimental to your mental health. STOP LOOKING AND COMPARING.
Matters relating to your husband are clearly an issue. For him to say that he was paying 4 the house while you were a SAHM, that is extremely unfair. Then to suggest that you use your salary to fix things is bloody minded.
I can't give u any advice re your husband; no easy solutions.
Please take care

Stop talking to the neighbour, he sounds a bit obsessive.
And your husband is obviosuly an idiot. You own a house, you deal with the problems that crop up. Everyone knows that.

Also juts reading your second post of course the value has gone up . We paid 435 and sold for 635 a few years later 🤷‍♀️

New builds work like that . They sell the early ones cheaper to get bums on seats .

We lived in one for ten years and we all paid different amounts depending on plot and availability.

I also haggled hard and some others paid the asking price

I would suggest that you stop doing anything for your DH - cook just for you and the kids none of his laundry etc etc. When he comments point out that he considers you don't contribute so you are no longer contributing. If he has an evening out for a hobby go out before he's due to leave and don't come back until its too late for him to go and explain that as you don't contribute you're not facilitating this any more. Tell him if he wants you to do things he's going to have to pay you to cook,wash, iron and babysit etc. I'd also tell him that his attitude has put you off sex

Tell your neighbour to stop talking about it. a) It's none of his business b) He's already told you at least a dozen times c) you are bored by the conversation.

Then deal with your horrible husband.

The neighbour's opinions don't matter. The real problem is your husband and the way he is controlling everything. Just because you take on most of the childcare and work less, it doesn't mean you don't have any say in anything. I would just buy some paint and paint the walls and ceiling. Get your husband to buy it. And if he wants to be awkward at your expense, increase your work hours and tell him he needs to be there for the children.

Don't house prices usually go up after the first buyers?

With new builds, not always - especially if new houses are still on sale at similar prices.

Depends on the local market of course.

I stopped reading when you said you don’t contribute. You do contribute, you look after the kids. Charge him the going rate for childcare if you have to.

Your husband is a twat! That’s your issue!

That's worth knowing. I always thought they reduced prices to sell the few remaining properties quickly! My daughter has been looking for a new build and I've been telling her to wait until the prices drop!!

The main issue is your husband.

The other issue is you bought at not a great time in recent history but it’s done now. The neighbour can easily compare any sold house price they want to as can you. It’s not worth dwelling on though and just ignore them. The only issue is when you sell. The house next door to me has sold at 80k,124k, 106k, 290k over last 26 years.

The only time a true 50/50 or whatever percentage is agreed on or forced is on divorce when assets are split. A SAHP or any lower paid spouse relies on their marriage partner being a decent human. It’s why this board has been littered with women over many years who don’t have enough money to buy an essential item whilst their husbands are off buying new bikes or having lads weekends away.

How silly of him. He could have bought that piece of land. That's what we did. Made our 'land' a third bigger having a big extra plot of land at the side.

Well, we don't know that do we? So, once again, why is everyone jumping on the husband without knowing the full facts?

Tell Kirsty Allsop’s grandad to eff off. Then look up financial abuse and deal with your dh

The house went up in value - you didn’t pay more than everyone else did because you didn’t buy at the same time as them. You paid the market rate four years later. Your neighbour is an idiot. Tell the neighbour that and tell him you’re tired of this slightly competitive gloating. You could even tell him you had lots of extras thrown in.

Your husband, however, is a complete arse. MY money, MY house, MY decisions: he certainly likes to put you in your place and tell you who you owe it all to, doesn’t he? I’d work to find a way to become financially independent. Otherwise, you’re trapped.