Wibu to pull my daughter from certain classes

You're one of those parents whose child can never do anything wrong.... Right.

Suddenly I see where the issue lies, and it's not with the school.

Does your daughter have siblings? How do you know what she does and doesn't do in a school environment?

From your posts it seems you have a tendency to catastrophise every incident - you need to decide what's most important and work with the school to improve those. Not make things a battleground (your posts come across as though you are fighting them all the time). Also recognise that they have many children and they can't prioritise your daughter all the time.

Is she happy at school generally? Not sure I understand where your concerns lie. You say she excels at both English and maths (the core primary school subjects). She's had the school referral for ADHD. What's your concern then? Is she being bullied? Is she anxious and refusing to go to school in the mornings? From everything you've said she sounds well adjusted and although she presents signs of ADHD it's not having any major impact on her outcomes at this stage.

There’s often quite a large chasm between reading and writing ability. Being good at one does not mean being good at the other!

You don't like the school. You dont think its the right environment for your child. You don't like the ethos. You definitely dont feel like there is a partnership between you as the parents and the school to best support the child.

But you won't move her to another school.

If you aren't going to move here then you are going to have to come up with another strategy and work with the school rather than against it.

If she's at the school then you are going to have to try and work with their way of doing things. Eg supporting her to not get distracted in her writing by practising focused writing following a plan at home etc.

They won't release her as you demand, and it will result in them not letting you into the school building during the school day because you will cause a scene. This is all or nothing - either work with the school.or withdraw her.

Find another school if you're not happy with that one.
There's no provision for schools to allow parents to withdraw their children from core subjects - only certain provision such as RE. You can carry on all you like about challenging rules and regulations but that's an unassailsble fact. Your alternative is to home educate. You can't access the social aspects without the obligation to engage with the core curriculum.

Yes do this, but be prepared to be checked upon.

A friend’s daughter started school refusing, so her parents took her out and home schooled her, but they didn’t, and lied about it.

The council took charge and sent her to a type of local approved school for school refusers, where they collect you from your house every day.

You have been asked numerous times to give examples of the comments. Why are you refusing to do so? Several teachers have asked, in order to give you some insight into the style of marking.

I really don’t understand when parents say their child’s school is awful, make teacher’s lives miserable because they’re so unhappy about everything and constantly complain yet continue to send their children there.

Why not move her to another school? Why are you sending your daughter to a school you think is awful? Does she not deserve better in your eyes? For the sake of staff and yourself, move her. (She can still see her friends outside of school and she will make new friends - it is not uncommon).

My daughter does not play fight. Never has.

your daughter never does any wrong does she? It sounds to me like you’re a reactive and aggressive person who doesn’t listen or take personal responsibility and wants to then blame everyone else for the consequences. Is this what the social problems you say you have, are?

Do you watch her all the time every day?

I've lost count of the number of parents who swear their child wouldn't do something until they see the cctv of them doing it.

Re your example above.

Both of those things can be true. Your daughter can be play fighting, and the girl could also be a bully. They aren't mutually exclusive events.

The only evidence you have that the comments are demotivating is your reading of the comments and projected possible feelings. You haven't discussed it with your daughter, and she is excelling in English.

Long story short, stfu, stop moaning and let the teachers do their job.

She’s excelling in English. Let the teacher continue doing her job which she is obviously doing well at. Of course you can’t just pick and choose which lessons she attends. Her English lessons might not always be at the same time each day/ may change due to other things going on that week. How is it feasible you just collect her at any time of day for one hour? Will you educate her during this time? Take her out completely if you think it’s that bad but don’t stop your daughter having access to the full curriculum because of your issues.

How will you go about this. What will she be doing when the other kids are doing English? Will you pick her up from school and look after her in that time. What about other subjects that involve written work? Also primary school timetables are a little more fluid than those at secondary- so pulling out of a class may not be easy!

I will also add that the school seem very negative about your DD’s work. What sort of school is it? DS wrote very little in primary school - no negative comments and often quite sweet responses to what he did write. Maybe you should pull her out of that school and move her to somewhere more forgiving!

Why are you refusing (despite being asked MANY TIMES) to give examples of these 'demoralising' comments??

I'm interested to see why you jave ignored all the comments suggesting it would be a good idea to speak to your daughter and encourage her to completer her writing at school.

Parents are quick to want school and teachers to help with anything and everything but will never take on any criticism whatsoever of their children.
This is one of the reasons children have such poor resilience in school and life.

You are doing your child no favours here at all and will be in danger of being one of those parents who will always blame the school no matter what.

What makes you think things will improve with a diagnosis? I would look for a different school to be honest.

A few things jump out at me about your posts OP. Your daughter is excelling at English because she hyperfocuses on reading and it appears your concerns are because of comments you saw in her book, not because of anything she expressed to you. In my opinion it would be terrible and damaging to pull her from a class she's performing well in - her results will be her source of confidence in school not the feedback! By removing her from that class you would be taking away what is likely her sole motivation and dopamine source for school academics (knowing she is better than peers at English).

I have ADHD - I also excelled at reading and it was my passion at home, which led to a passion for writing stories at home, which increased by base level comprehension and ability in most subjects (but especially in history and languages). However, I struggled with some aspects of school (i.e. I never once handed in homework, I often handed in coursework late, I daydreamed through lessons and I revised for exams in truly last minute fashion the night before, I never finished an exam in my life and would normally only complete 80-95% by the end etc.).

I excelled at other aspects: I was a complete perfectionist when it came to coursework, exams and school work and critical teacher comments marking my work were motivating since I was a perfectionist and lacked motivation from natural dopamine due to ADHD so needed dopamine from the stress of urgent/missed deadlines or criticism about my work that I had high expectations for. I left school with 10 A* and 4As at A level.

My love for reading/writing carried me the whole way through school. What also helped was that my parents created a home environment for me to excel at my interests at home. They never made me do homework/schoolwork so I had a place I could completely switch off and stop masking. I was also allowed to stay up all night reading (another ADHD thing) and had read the classics such as Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice by the age of 10. When I was your daughter's age I was obsessed with a PC game that gamified writing stories - and my parents let me play this obsessively after school for hours. This led to me writing proper chapter novels by the time I was 11 (not that I completed any of them in true ADHD fashion)!

What I would do is focus on creating a home environment that allows her to focus on and excel at her interests and improve her writing. Keep pushing for that ADHD diagnosis but by making all this fuss to the school she'll likely feel under pressure from you.