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AIBU?

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To feel violated

39 replies

OopsyDaisie · 25/10/2024 23:05

Something really weird happened on the tube just now and I feel shaken....
Loads of room, but this large strong young man sat right next to me and his arm touching mine (like menspredonf but with this arms, if that makes sense)
I kept "keeping my space", forcing my arm to stay strong nad not me, but ke kept pushing and pushing his arm... I got frustrated and kept not moving... but then when I kept not moving, he started moving his arm around in circles, pressing mine, it started to remind me of sexual movements if that makes sense... and at that point I starting feeling very scared.... I didn't want to complain (very scared and aware of how large and strong he was, what if he followed.me out at the station?).
I waited a few second after the train stopped (last station), he didn't move! Waited for me. So I got up but instead of going put of the station I walked back ti the rear if the train... he didn't see me and left, and I stayed back for a few minutes shaking. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
OopsyDaisie · 25/10/2024 23:20

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First time it ever happened to me! Been living in London for 12 years!
It felt really really weird, I felt almost abused, if I didn't know abuse can be 10000x worse, so I won't go that far

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OopsyDaisie · 25/10/2024 23:18

Thanks! I waited some minuets and called and Uber (and looked around everywhere to make sure he wasn't there, or I would talk to a security guard atvthe station!)
I'm now home and still a bit shaken!

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Raquelos · 25/10/2024 23:18

No, you're definitely not overreacting, please do report it to the station staff or transport police straightaway if you can and prioritise your safety getting home.

What a total fuckface of a bloke. I am so sorry you have had this happen, I have had similar intimidating behaviour run-ins over not ceding personal space on trains but always on busy morning trains where I have been able to be loud and vocal about it (bastards), I think I would have felt a lot more vulnerable in the situation you describe. Anecdotally it seems to be becoming more common, there are just some men who are horrid bullies who enjoy flexing what tiny power they have.

Chandlerbuffay · 25/10/2024 23:15

Report it, absolute weirdo he is.

Namechangedforthis25 · 25/10/2024 23:14

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Really bizarre thing to say

I live in London and no this is not normal! Of course it isn’t!

please report. You didn’t right thing.

haveacampaccuccuonme · 25/10/2024 23:14

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What?? No it's not. It's not part and parcel of living anywhere.

Report it. They'll have it on camera.
People like that go on to do worse - these types of intimidation are a warm up / practice for worse to come.

Thank God you got away.
Stay safe and stay vigilant.
Anyone would be freaked out by that

orangewasp · 25/10/2024 23:12

No you're not overreacting, that was creepy and weird. Hope you're OK now.

Bellatrixpure · 25/10/2024 23:11

That’s awful. Hope you are feeling calmer and in a safe place now xx

MounjaroUser · 25/10/2024 23:09

That's awful. You poor thing.

Didimum · 25/10/2024 23:09

Dickhead. Report to transport police.

LLresident · 25/10/2024 23:09

How awful, sorry this has happened to you. Thankfully you got home safely. I have had a few bad experiences on the tube aswell, once I did call the police and they were helpful. There is the option of texting British transport police if anything like this happens again.

CagneyNYPD1 · 25/10/2024 23:09

No, you are not over reacting. At the very least, his behaviour was weird. You are feeling shaken up because it is your nervous system's response to the situation.

You did everything right. You got yourself out of a potentially tricky even harmful situation.

Where are you now?

GentleFinch · 25/10/2024 23:07

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TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 25/10/2024 23:06

No, you’re not over-reacting.

He sounds vile.

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