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AIBU?

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Friend doesn't want to go out after dark on holiday

210 replies

curtainp0le · 25/10/2024 22:23

I am going on holiday for 3 nights with 2 friends to a popular city in Spain in a couple of weeks. One friend, let's call her Susan, is keen to go to a bar or a club one evening. We are mid/late 20s but none of us are major clubbers or party people. I don't drink at all. The other friend, Elaine, is reluctant to go to a bar. She is scared to 'be out too late in a place I don't know. Scary stories in the news have made me extra cautious'.
I said that we will stick together, but even at that she is worried about walking back late to our hotel as we are 'still a group of girls'. I said there will be night buses and trams. I also pointed out that in Spain they eat dinner late and it will get dark about 7pm, so by necessity we will probably have to be out after dark if we want to have anything to eat. At this, Elaine said we will need to get a phone number for a taxi.

AIBU to feel a bit annoyed about this attitude? I totally understand, in light of recent events, why she is concerned. I don't want to cause drama. But I also feel we need to be realistic that statistically anything like that is extremely unlikely. I don't want to feel restricted on the basis of Elaine's fears. I don't want to sit in the hotel from 7pm onwards. It's my holiday too! And Susan genuinely wants to go to a bar. How would you manage this?

OP posts:
soupfiend · 25/10/2024 22:31

The evenings dont really start until about 9 in Spain, why did she pick this holiday to go on?

Yes as others have said, she'll have to stay in the hotel, but how are you going to be eating of an evening, dinner time is around 9ish, 8 perhaps.

Cuppasy · 25/10/2024 22:31

Dont indulge her at all.
Tell her she is welcome to sit in the hotel but you will obviously be going out for dinner etc.
She's ridiculous and I would be safety conscious.
Debbie Downer needs to stay home.

Remaker · 25/10/2024 22:31

Go out without her. As you said it’s impossible to get an evening meal in Spain without being out after dark. There will be loads of families around- what does she think will happen? If you don’t get blind drunk and take sensible precautions you will be absolutely fine. One person bring ridiculous should not dictate the holiday activities.

Rachie1973 · 25/10/2024 22:29

Go out with Susan. Let Elaine stay in the hotel.

Make it clear before you leave that this is what WILL be happening so she can’t claim she didn’t know, and can back out if she doesn’t want to come.

ilovesooty · 25/10/2024 22:27

Another vote for leaving the wet lettuce in the hotel.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/10/2024 22:27

What everyone else said.

fashionqueen0123 · 25/10/2024 22:26

Leave her in the hotel while you go out. I don’t even know what recent events you mean. Even people with kids will be out!

Lentilweaver · 25/10/2024 22:26

Leave Elaine at home and go to the bar with Susan. I have no patience with all this unnecessary drama.

Domino20 · 25/10/2024 22:25

Go out with Susan. Elaine can choose to stay on hotel if she prefers (bonkers).

saraclara · 25/10/2024 22:24

curtainp0le · 25/10/2024 22:23

I am going on holiday for 3 nights with 2 friends to a popular city in Spain in a couple of weeks. One friend, let's call her Susan, is keen to go to a bar or a club one evening. We are mid/late 20s but none of us are major clubbers or party people. I don't drink at all. The other friend, Elaine, is reluctant to go to a bar. She is scared to 'be out too late in a place I don't know. Scary stories in the news have made me extra cautious'.
I said that we will stick together, but even at that she is worried about walking back late to our hotel as we are 'still a group of girls'. I said there will be night buses and trams. I also pointed out that in Spain they eat dinner late and it will get dark about 7pm, so by necessity we will probably have to be out after dark if we want to have anything to eat. At this, Elaine said we will need to get a phone number for a taxi.

AIBU to feel a bit annoyed about this attitude? I totally understand, in light of recent events, why she is concerned. I don't want to cause drama. But I also feel we need to be realistic that statistically anything like that is extremely unlikely. I don't want to feel restricted on the basis of Elaine's fears. I don't want to sit in the hotel from 7pm onwards. It's my holiday too! And Susan genuinely wants to go to a bar. How would you manage this?

You do that you want to do, and which is perfectly normal behaviour. If she's not happy, then she can stay at the hotel. She cannot restrict you to this degree.

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