Friend doesn't want to go out after dark on holiday

I thought you were going to say you were past your prime in terms of your age! Seriously you are in your twenties, going to Spain and one of the group doesn't want to sample the night life, you might as well be going to Margate!
Life is short, you won't be young forever, go out and party, leave your friend at the hotel but don't let her stop you enjoying yourself, have fun 😊.

Go out wtih Susan and tell Elaine she's very welcome to join you if she can think of a way of getting back to the hotel that she'd be comfortable with. You don't all have to stay in.

You are adults. If she wants a 7pm home time curfew, that’s on her. Leave her in the hotel.

And was initially desktop only.

The vast majority of people did not have mobile phones 25/30 years ago!!!

I had a mobile in around 95ish I believe, might hve been later, big old brick that got insanely hot. I doubt I would have been able to make calls abroad with it, certainly didnt take it on any holidays with me!

25 years ago mobile phones had Ariel’s and were only for making calls.

Skype wasn’t around until the early 2000’s and even then it was very basic

The shops are normally open until about 9 or 10

Skype was created 21 years ago.

Absolutely. Sadly isolated incidents happen. Hiding away from life and living in fear doesn’t change that.

A school friend of mine was murdered in her own hime - that doesn’t mean we should fear being home alone at any time.

25 years ago there were mobile phones and Skype etc

My paternal gran was Catalan and I spent a lot of summer holidays in and around Barcelona. Even as young kids we were out until the early hours of the morning. Thats the culture - to visit Spain and not indulge the late night culture is wasted trip imo.

Its not even about clubs and bars - the streets are vibrant and buzzing after dark

Not tourists, not in Spain, not in a group, and one of them was in the middle of the afternoon. Does she not leave the house at all when at home, even during daylight?

I don't have one, it's not made up. It apparently happened maybe 30+ years ago? I was a kid at the time and it's stayed with me because of how awful it is.

oh lordie @OwnBrandCornflake use your critical thinking skills. Video calls did not exist 30+ years ago, mobile phones barely. This didn’t happen.

Tell her that you're actually worried now that you have different ideas about holidays and you don't want to fall out over it, but that you have full intention of being out after dark and that youll be no more or less safe on holiday in Spain than you would be here.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Exactly that, meandering the streets, people watching, soaking up, finding little streets and alleys.

A taxi doesn't solve the problem. The point of being out in the evening is to wander and enjoy the atmosphere, not have a taxi drop you at a restaurant and then drop you straight back to the hotel.

Well tragic and horrific as situations like that are, the reality is, its not common, not from strangers anyway. Also statistically men are much more at risk of harm when 'out out' rather than women, from other men of course.

There is being vigilant and sensible and then there is letting disproportionate concern rule your life

Its up to her but I dont know what she thinks she is going to get out of a 3 day break like this. Spain is all about the night life and bar/tapas hopping.

We're not nightclubbers at all, we visit regularly, 6 or 7 times a year, but we're out until 1ish (and thats early, we're very old!)

I don’t think that it’s ridiculous to be careful in general but not to this extent. Are you going to walk miles out of the town after dark or just 10minutes walk in a city ? If the former, yes Elaine is right. If the latter… I would tell her politely in advance that Spain is generally safe and you would want to go out for dinner and maybe drinks afterwards but I wouldn’t ridicule her or anything.
Maybe Susan overdid a bit on the topic how wild you are going to hit Spanish bars and that made Elaine really anxious?

I would let your friend stay at the hotel and go out with your other friend.

Did they have video calls in those days?

I'm so sorry she feels this way but you should absolutely not entertain it for a second. We are going to Paris next week and my kids main ask is 'to see the Eiffel Tower after dark' so we will probably see it all lit up, then eat dinner, then head home. Imagine we will be out til 10 or 11pm, with a 8 and 11 YO. If I was there with other women we'd probably be in a restaurant or bars til after midnight

Those events, tragic though they were, are not ones that I would even have connected with a trip to Spain. I thought she meant relating to Spain itself.

You are visiting a city. Presumably somewhere like Madrid, Valencia or Barcelona. Stick to well lit and generally busy areas, stay together and you'll be totally fine. Work out the buses and trains, use taxis if needed. Most bars or restaurants will call a taxi for you when you are leaving if you ask them to and sharing the cost three ways will keep it reasonable.

I don't have one, it's not made up. It apparently happened maybe 30+ years ago? I was a kid at the time and it's stayed with me because of how awful it is.
Things like that do happen, it's rare but maybe ops friend has had something happen or felt uncomfortable when someone followed her or whatever. My point is that although on the face of it op isn't unreasonable, maybe friend is worried because of anxiety or experience etc