DH is spoiling his adult daughter

I'm talking about the apprenticeship off the job hours. She doesn't get weeks off like your DS when uni is off. Good for her if her employer is giving her annual leave. Your DS has every uni holiday off including about 3 months over the summer. Why should she be doing charity work when she's working full time?

God forbid. How many days off does your spoiled brat DS get off uni?

It's his money he's spending. You resent her and the fact that you can't do the same for your children and don'thavethesame given to youas she doesn't, but you (and them) are getting a bloody good deal. As the only young woman she should have got the other ensuite. He isn't your meal ticket. If it wasn't for him, your DS would have to work, appreciate that. Look at what you've got and not what you haven't got. Your DH could just as easy think, why do I have to work and the other males don't? When/if they all go on to have children, there's going to be a difference. That's what happens when you move in with someone when your children are young adults.

YABU @Asofcati and if you don't get a grip of your growing jealousy and resentment, it will destroy your marriage.

I think YABVU.

It sounds as if he is contributing quite a lot to the household and therefore phones etc for your children, so if you were on your own you wouldn’t be able to have the lifestyle or treat your children the way you do. So I think that you just have to accept that he wants to treat his daughter and that he can afford to. I think it’s a difficult situation with older teens and blended family parents having different incomes and not sharing everything equally.
Op, did you DP’s higher income affect the amount of student loan your son got?

What lesson are you teaching your son, that you think is so much more valuable that he is teaching his daughter?

It’s clear this has nothing to do with your son. It’s you that’s jealous be sure you want more.

He pays 70% into the joint account and of the house. He is financing your son already and that’s not enough. YOU want more for you.

So go earn it. This is so bizarre I hope it’s not real. Or some attempt at hoping people will be jealous you have a wealthy husband. But why would they be. You still, clearly, just want more.

You are still not happy.

I make less than him and have 2 children so can’t do the same for them which I’m worried will cause jealousy (she already has the 2nd biggest room in the house plus the only room other than the master with an en-suite which caused drama at first!).

I suppose your DC have two living parents? Maybe ask the dad to contribute?

It's his child, your finances are separate. Just stay out of it. you sound ridiculous and jealous!

Just wait till her long-dead parent turns out to have discovered a diamond mine in India just before succumbing to brainfever, and the co-owner of the mine is found to be living next door to you, and makes your daughter rich beyond the dreams of avarice, and every day you have to watch her go around in her carriage in diamonds and furs and French boots!

If she isn't spoiled yet, she is going to be OFF THE SCALE.

I would not worry too much but involving your SD in community or charity work could help her be more
A degree apprenticeship involves working 4 days a week, 9-5 then spending a full day studying for a degree which requires the same amount of work outside classes as a person doing a full time degree. During the holidays, employers expect students to go in on their day ' off' when they should be learning on the job, but often do their normal jobs. They are entitled to 2 weeks off.When is she going to do charity work? I think maybe the sons are being taught that you don't have to work if you don't want to. Just find someone to bankroll you.

@Asofcati

Okay I will defend her here, one the degree isn’t wealth management that’s just what her role is, I think the degree is actually something like Financial Services . Two nothing to do with her dad, he’s a dermatologist and has no contacts that would have been useful, she did it all on her own. What a weird assumption to make.

Not weird at all. This is the picture you deliberately or not, tried to paint of her . A spoilt, trust fund, princess, nepo baby.

So maybe have a think about that.

So you had a problem with him treating his DD the same as your sons? But not enough of an issue to just pay for your own kids?
Its pretty bloody rich to moan about her being spoilt and then demand he doesn’t cover his DD’s phone but does pay 70% of both your son’s phones!

There's nothing to suggest the DSD isn't well rounded. Just that OP called her a "spoilt princess".

Not quite. I was and am the trust fund kid, that along with the vast majority of trust fund kids I know, successfully built on the foundations provided.

What is there to aspire to? From personal experience, whatever it is you want to. This girl has already embarked on a career that will enable her to continue having a lucrative lifestyle, so I don’t think your concern for her is necessary.

Wow, that is so good about the house potential.
I would not worry too much but involving your SD in community or charity work could help her be more well rounded.

Enjoy sometimes taking her out to such meetings or engagements. A mother/daughter like interest of value.

Sorry OP, if you're both comfortably off and it's his money, I can see why it might be irritating but you're just coming across as a bit jealous of her, and his ability to spend on her in a way you're not going to with your sons.

He may feel like he's compensating for the loss of her mother at such a young age, though arguably not in a way that will perhaps allow her to develop independence.

Suck it up, in short, unless you find it so irritating it's a relationship deal-breaker.

But why should she be given anything when she works?
Becsuse her father wants to give it to her. £24k is not a lot of money to spend. In the type of industry she works in, she will look ridiculous in Primark dresses and shoes. He probably knows even though the poor girl offers, she will never be able to pay it back.

Are you jealous of that as well OP? Because I assure you that this young woman would much rather have her mother than all the money in the world.

And a degree apprenticeship in ‘wealth management’ (that well known academic degree) was almost certainly gained via papa’s contacts rather than through diligence and drive.
I suspect the degree is I finance and she works for a wealth management firm. The only one who is ' jealous' is the OP who thought she'd hit the jackpot snd she could get rid of the inconvenient stepdaughter in a couple of years, only to discover that her father wants to spend his own money on her even after she turns 18. Her mother must be spinning in her grave knowing the type of person her father has brought into her daughters life.

Sorry If I’ve missed this @Asofcati , why do you care? It’s his money and he contributes appropriately to the household.

You seem jealous of her TBH.

Why should you be paying less than 50% when you work. Why do you deserve his hands out? Why does your child deserve his handouts. Only going uni tut tut get a job stop being a bum.

goes both ways doesn’t it.

So what if you believe it or not