DH is spoiling his adult daughter

Specifically mentioning certain things like being friends with this man before the wife dies does make me wonder about the intentions here.

I imagine the comment was completely serious and not sarcastic at all.

Why is it unfair? He has two parents who can subsidise his student lifestyle.

You say sarcastic. I say factual.

Spot on

It’s not though. It’s impossible to create a blended family with kids as old as this.

Are your children not being supported by their own father? Your children have two parents to spoil them. Your DSD only has on parent.

Unfair comment with a hint of sarcasm

There was a thread on MN earlier in the week asking “why does MN hate blended families so much?”

and this, this shit right here is why MN hates blended families.

You got together 2 years after his wife died, and then he moved his daughter's life to another country to live with people she barely knew and now as the new wife you call her a spoilt princess because she as the only girl, got the only room with an ensuite and earns 24k doing a degree apprenticeship (aka studying whilst working full time, your sons should take a note from her).

you also want your adult children(who have a father), who you don't want to get a job in case it affects their studies treated equally. They are treated equally, they have a father of their own who can spoil then. She doesn't have two parents she only has one. If your sons worked they could also have the extra money that his daughter has.

My father helped me a lot when I was young and starting out. He paid my rent and council tax. He also bought me a new work wardrobe and nice bag. He could easily afford it and he wanted to. He was proud of his only daughter growing up.

I would have been furious (as would he) if my new step-mum had tried to get in the way of that.

This has nothing to do with you or your children. I can’t believe you think it does.

Who told that?

Ahhhh. The ole blended family...

Parent has funds and wants to share with own child.
Why would he withhold money from his own daughter? It's absolutely nonsense to automatically assume this would turn her into a spoiled young lady.
If the parent can afford it and wants to, then there's nothing stopping the parent helping out for as long as they want.
Clearly the daughter has a very sensible plan that she is working on.

I hope you both have clear wills with regards your home and respective children inheriting.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

See ! Why are you on here!!! Pure nastiness. Honestly go spend your time on tattle !!!

Thousands of students have PT jobs and work more in the holidays

Disagree with post being nasty

I hear where you are coming from OP.she is totally spoilt and having her salary as spending money. However, she is your husband's daughter and the funds are coming out of his personal funds so you don't get to have a say in this.

This is an example of the compromise involved in blended families.
Take care OP

Perhaps all three are lovely and quite different and we can’t really say much in that regard.
I would agree that being lucky enough to do a degree apprenticeship puts you in a great position, but not necessarily making anyone a better person than doing uni. Working in a seperate job while dealing with uni is very different stress wise to working within a degree apprenticeship that allows time for studying.

We don’t know what happened leading up to the two children ‘s parents split and the aftermath of what they are now dealing with. Living between two homes with varying circumstances and values is often stressful and not a walk in the park.

I wonder how the three children feel with the home set up and divided finances as they go about their daily lives together as family,? it’s quite reasonable and actually lovely that OPs partner is generous with his daughter and reasonable that Op is generous with her two and supportive of their decisions to focus on study as they will be working for the rest of their life soon enough.

@RandomWordsThrownTogether Personally I would chat to him about maybe getting her to put a bit of her wages aside in a savings account each month so it's not all just fun money, maybe £200/300 just to learn a bit about the benefits of saving and work towards future independence.

i’m sure getting a very competitive and prestigious apprenticeship degree in wealth planning at a private bank means she’s aware of the benefits of saving!

Not really, I think it's nice he is treating her well and it sounds like his way of showing his love is through gifts.
A lot of fathers run from their kids these days or don't care for them.
Seems like a nice guy.

Also 'She has the en suite bedroom' and she earns a 'bonkers' amount of money. Neither of which have anything to do with her father buying her stuff. She gets an ensuite because she is the only girl and her employer has decided to be decent and pay her more than the apprenticeship wage. Its not coming out of the OP's pocket.The post was dripping with resentment and its nasty.

Resentful.

Tell us more about your friendship with this men before the wife died.

Yes and I agree they have a comfortable life too but that wasn’t my point.

..and I don’t think you can presume about the history exam.

Sorry OP you aren't coming across well here.

Your DHs daughter sounds like she is doing well. She's chosen a well paid career path.
She's lost her mum and been though a lot. Her dad wants to treat her.
She's also his only child. When you have 1 child, spare money goes further than when you have 2. It is not her fault she is doing better financially than her step brothers.

Your son can also definitely get a job. Being busy with studies is not an excuse. Thousands of youngsters have had a job and a degree.
If you want DH to spend more money on things you do together, tell him.