Boyfriend lives with me and my kids but is hardly ever here. I genuinely don't know if I'm right or wrong.

Maybe he's just used to living with his dad, who didn't expect him to keep company and let him just come and go as he pleased.

Its very concerning you have moved this male into your three daughters home. If things feel off its because they are, you need to prioritise your daughter's here. From what you've said he is not acting appropriately at all, sleeping in late, coming and going as he pleases and having no real involvement or contribution. What do your daughter's father think? What have your daughter's said? I see it all the time where mum's boyfriend moves in and ends up abusing the children. What sort of example are you setting for your daughters on a normal healthy relationship or even just a normal male. I plead with you to ask this man to move out he is using you and your home for free accomodation

He’s probably out shagging his fan girls while he’s telling you he’s at the gym/pub/out for a weekend on the piss.

I’m glad you have told him to go and really hope you stick to your guns when the inevitable pathetic begging and/or nastiness starts from him.

I am however just a bit confused.
You sound intelligent and capable OP- how on earth did this self absorbed waste of space ever feel like a good choice to live into your daughters’ home? He doesn’t even sound worthy of a shag every now and then but live in step dad/partner material? A million times No.

You have been bankrolling the local Casanova whilst he goes to the gym, drinks at the pub and treats you and your kids like an inconvenience. What possessed you?

Please make sure he is no longer in your life and after that look for some therapy going forwards. Your kids need you to make better choices.

Sounds like a lodger or else like how a former couple are when they seperate but have to live in the same house!

And then he's calling you needy??
No fuck that.
I'd be getting rid of him!

What DID you see in this man child? Sounds like a teenage boy of 18 who’s just got his green light to go out drinking legally.

Please be mindful of who you move in with your children in the future. No man is worth this, especially not a waste of space one like that!

be ready for the love bombing.
Or the nice and nasty cycle
or the promises that will come to nothing
or the anger
and the insults
or the simply ignoring and trying to carry on as if nothing was said so you have to dump him again, in person.
and back to the love

oh and be ready for the MH crisis. The suicide threat. That is a common one - advice is to call an ambulance. after all, you are not a psychiatric nurse, and even if you were, you would not be allowed to treat him, and as its 99.99% bluff the ambulance crew are quite used to bollocking manipulative bellends for time wasting.

When I read this I really did think it was some kind of joke post.
This really is a scraping the bottom of the barrel relationship. I'll bet he didn't give a monkeys that you chucked him out.

Sorry, I missed your update.

He's found himself a 'landlady with benefits ' situation .

That's what he's happy with, but you want a relationship, you're on different pages, you're incompatible.

Send him back to live with daddy.

Why your house vs his dads...

Because 'I live with my girlfriend' sounds infinitely better than 'I live with my parent'.

Thats it. And really, not a lot has changed as he is barely contributing to his food costs at yours and absolutely nothing else and I bet his Dad is still funding him in return for 'help'... so he is a mooching freeloading bell end.

Lodger who I assume sometimes provides sex.

You've done the right thing - hopefully he will fuck off quietly and not give you a load of shit for kicking him out. I'll be surprised though.

DO NOT let him back in, don't let him bully you or 'blow up your phone' or tell you a load of nasty stuff ot make you feel like shit so you accept him back.

Men are not all like that, that isn't normal behaviour in a proper relationship and if he thinks it is... ugh, theres really no saving him. Bet he watches Andrew Tate videos and thinks Tate is wonderful.

I'm really impressed OP. You have handled this well and done the right thing for yourself and your girls.

Therapy is a great idea. 🌷

I’m glad you’ve given him the boot but you’ve also been foolish and have put your girls at risk. Did you really need to move him in after a year and a half? Was there no point where you thought ‘Hmm this is an unemployed man who lives with his father, maybe he’s not prime step dad material.’ You really need to think a bit harder before you move another man in.

Cock lodger ...put yourself and your girls needs higher and get rid.

Who is paying his bills, food etc

Hang on, he doesn't live in the biggest house around - his dad's place is big. Your place may well be big. He doesn't HAVE a place.

He's got a lot of muscles because he doesn't work or have any responsibilities and is able to spend his days in the gym - that's doesn't make him an attractive man!

I'm really glad you've told him to go. I don't understand why you let him move in, really, but I certainly don't understand why you let him stay there.

Is he using you as a stop gap?

Is his DF downsizing from his large house and handing him a lump sum to buy his own place?

Why vague with ages - "he's mid/late 20s and I'm about 5 years older" ?

You should be role-modeling an emotionally healthy respectful and equal relatiosnhip to your DDs - anything less is doing them a disservice and they will set their bar low. What happened to your relationship with their DF?

Well done you. If his income is only £500 a month then he's obviously found himself really cheap lodgings and that is exactly how he's acting, like a lodger, not a partner

I voted YABU to let this waste of waste live in your children’s home.

Well done ending it!! Goodbye to the cocklodger who acts like a teenager.

Doesn’t sound like he brought any positives to the relationship and likely never will.

I’ve only read the op’s posts , but well done on ending it. He was living the life if a single man, not a partner.

Do you really think that's what she should do? He moved in and literally treats the place like he's a lodger.

Well done for kicking him out, he's a waste of space & you deserve better!

Well done. A hard decision I’m sure. But you have done the right thing.