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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for film help within the hour?

140 replies

Jones3A · 25/10/2024 18:35

We need a film to watch this evening, me DH and DS. Rare treat as DD8 is out on a sleepover.

My son is 11, he's mature, and he's increasingly keen to watch more adult style films.

He's not easily spooked and not squeamish.

He's seen Shawshank, a few good men, the dark knight, Forrest gump and hacksaw ridge, recently. All with both of us there to talk through the themes and difficult subjects. Some I've slightly regretted after tbh (Shawshank).

DH and I have argued this week because of some of the increasingly adult suggestions of films they're making together, to watch next. I don't mind him watching some stuff that's pushing it a little, but he's only a kid, and there's no rush.

What can we watch tonight that's exciting/challenging enough that he feels it's grown up, without filling his 11yo brain with things he doesn't need to be worrying about yet?

OP posts:
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Chandlerbuffay · 26/10/2024 12:11

MasterBeth · 25/10/2024 21:03

No-one else's are quite as daft as yours.

The later films are definitely darker and explore more adult themes. When watching these As a 45 year old I don’t feel like I’m watching a film that is just for children, like Moana or Frozen.

It was just a suggestion which OP is entitled to say thanks but no thanks. No need for the ridicule really

Sherrystrull · 26/10/2024 10:46

ColonelRhubarbBikini · 25/10/2024 21:15

It’s tricky to suggest because kids (and adults) are scared of some things and fine with others. I cheerfully watched Silence Of The Lambs age 12 but Signs which is a 12 scared the ever living shit out of me. I don’t believe in aliens but films about them give me the willies.

DS2 and I are working our way through the Bond films, we started with the Brosnan era though because anything before that makes him snort with derision.

I agree with this. The green mile and Philadelphia affected me massively as a young teen. Jaws and Alien didn't at all.

PattiLupone12 · 26/10/2024 09:12

AdviceNeeded2024 · 25/10/2024 20:14

I watched that at my nans house when I was about 7 I think and I was too scared to go to the toilet incase one of the worm things came up it while I was sat on it 😂🪱

I've watched it with DCs and it's a really good one for early teens - just squishy and scary enough, but really funny and exciting too. It's also a very good natured film - the characters are all likable and there's no sense of people just waiting around to be killed.

YellowphantGrey · 26/10/2024 08:21

MasterBeth · 25/10/2024 21:03

No-one else's are quite as daft as yours.

ODFOD.

Thommasina · 26/10/2024 05:19

Applesandbananaz · 25/10/2024 23:44

The Green Mile centres around the rape and murder of two little girls. I really think for that reason alone, it's not suitable for an 11 year old.

And also has horrific scenes of the death penalty being botched. If my 12 year old watched this and WASN'T disturbed by it I would be concerned! No, it's not a horror, but it's very adult.

BubblePerm · 26/10/2024 00:33

Napoleon Dynamite or The Peanut Butter Falcon were hits here.

TiramisuThief · 25/10/2024 23:49

I agree with everyone who thinks the Green Mile is unsuitable for an 11 year old. I'm not sure how recently the people suggesting it have seen it, but a lot of the themes are very troubling even for an adult.

Marley and Me made me ugly cry. Tears pouring down my face for a significant portion of that film!

Applesandbananaz · 25/10/2024 23:44

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 21:57

@FloatyBoaty no I'm not suggesting that at all. Like you said, it is subjective. You do paint The Green Mile the horror that it isn't though. If that's your take, that is cool, but don't forget about the kind magic.

Edited

The Green Mile centres around the rape and murder of two little girls. I really think for that reason alone, it's not suitable for an 11 year old.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 25/10/2024 23:18

Jones3A · 25/10/2024 22:42

Yes we do. He enjoyed the imitation game but was heartbroken with the end, how Turing was treated.

There is a film with Will Smith in called Concussion if you’ve not seen it. It’s a 12A rating. It’s based on a true story of the doctor who made the connection between dementia and other serious conditions with the constant concussions suffered by NFL footballers, then how he was silenced by the NFL.

I don’t like NFL and it took a lot of persuasion to watch but I found it gripping, a really interesting story.

Zero Dark Thirty with Jessica Chastain (Rated 15) based on the hunt to find Osama Bin Laden and the intelligence officer who put the pieces together is also brilliant, there is a bit of swearing in it but it is very good, not sure whether it might be a bit too mature but it’s really interesting.

MasterBeth · 25/10/2024 23:05

Isobel201 · 25/10/2024 20:34

I read Harry Potter books when I was a teenager? I still watch the films now occaisonally at nearly 40.

Yeah, I sometimes watch children's films as an adult too, but I wouldn't recommend Frozen or Moana to the OP.

She said: "My son is 11, he's mature, and he's increasingly keen to watch more adult style films."

Harry Potter is a children's book and film series about a boy wizard which most kids will have seen by age 11. It's a stupid suggestion that doesn't fit the OP's criteria.

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 22:54

Davros · 25/10/2024 22:47

@BettyBardMacDonald my DD has loved Julie & Julia since she was 10 or so, we watched it again recently, it's one of our go to feel good films. DD is 21 now.
Anyone traumatised by sad dog films, NEVER watch Hatchi, I was traumatised

Hatchi was real. Why shouldn't people watch it? If we are going to continue to perpetuate animals for pleasure, why shouldn't they be celebrated? I'm not having a go at you, but people should bloody watch it and realise that animals are not ours for the taking - fuck breeding of any animals!!!

Davros · 25/10/2024 22:47

@BettyBardMacDonald my DD has loved Julie & Julia since she was 10 or so, we watched it again recently, it's one of our go to feel good films. DD is 21 now.
Anyone traumatised by sad dog films, NEVER watch Hatchi, I was traumatised

Jones3A · 25/10/2024 22:42

AdviceNeeded2024 · 25/10/2024 21:40

Do you and your son enjoy things based on true stories @Jones3A

Yes we do. He enjoyed the imitation game but was heartbroken with the end, how Turing was treated.

OP posts:
TheWinterWillWash · 25/10/2024 22:39

Master and Commander is great. Hunt for Red October, the Jason Bourne films are too.

We’ve recently watched Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann) Henry V (Kenneth Branagh) The Truman Show, and Are You there God, It’s me Margaret with our similarly aged son.

We will watch films and skip through a few scenes if it’s something we don’t feel is suitable or the children aren’t ready for.

Enjoy your evening.

Jones3A · 25/10/2024 22:38

FloatyBoaty · 25/10/2024 21:33

Can I just say to poster suggesting The Green Mile, I watched it when I was fifteen, and cried myself literally sick. Was absolutely inconsolable at the end. There is no way it’s suitable for an 11 year old.

That said. I made the MAJOR mistake of watching Marley and Me with my 8 year old. Had never seen it before. Thought it was a comedy. And it was. It was funny.
Until the fucking end when my dog loving 8 year old had his own Green Mile experience.

I now use Common Sense media before every film we watch.

I use common sense media too, really helpful

OP posts:
AyeAyeCapt · 25/10/2024 22:37

Big!
Blindside
Catch me if you can

HappyHappyy · 25/10/2024 22:36

We've just watched The Greatest Beer Run Ever on Apple TV. Enjoyable, emotional & true story x

BettyBardMacDonald · 25/10/2024 22:25

HousefulofIkea · 25/10/2024 19:20

Can't actually believe some of the suggestions on here. Who would show the Green Mile to an 11 year old wtf is wrong with you. Kids don't need to see films with such dark plotlines no matter how mature they are!!!

I agree; it's as though people are just blurting out their favorite films without actually pondering the OPs question.

I mean, how many 10-year-olds want to watch a film about Julia Child?!

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 22:19

FloatyBoaty · 25/10/2024 22:03

Im not arguing in bad faith here - I’m genuinely interested in your perspective… but do you really think it’s okay to show kids deeply unsuitable material, as long as it’s balanced out with kind, nice things? Do you think 11 year old brains are equipped to prioritise remembering those quite sophisticated thematic connections, over the more shocking, visually striking scenes? Because I don’t, but I’m interested to hear what you think.

@FloatyBoaty I do not think kids should be shown deeply unsuitable material at all, and as you say, that is subjective. I don't think there is anything unsuitable about The Green Mile, other than an opportunity to talk about why killing animals for fun isn't acceptable and that the death penalty certainly isn't. Whilst it is uncomfortable, it certainly isn't graphic.

I accidentally stumbled in on my parents watching The Shining when I was a kid, my mum was mortified. It was the scene where the twins are stood there one minute and then next they are butchered meat.

It wasn't discussed further apart from my mum checking in.

FloatyBoaty · 25/10/2024 22:08

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 22:05

I watched Marley and Me at work with colleagues. I was trying to do silent crying, you know when you hold your breath, and then all of a sudden I had to do a massive intake of breath and just carried on crying. Marley and Me fucked me over more than A Nightmare on Elm Street ever did.

I def felt like I’d fucked up with that one. Why it’s a PG I will never understand.

When I went to see the Bucket List at the cinema, I cried so hard a man in front came to check if I was okay (was trying to be silent but did the gasp …) in the end I had to just leave the cinema. 😂 for the fucking BUCKET LIST.

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 22:05

MrsJoanDanvers · 25/10/2024 22:00

I thought I was watching a cute dog film when I put on 8 Below for me and the kids. At the end, I don’t know who of us was more traumatised 😂. My dd still reminds me years later!

I watched Marley and Me at work with colleagues. I was trying to do silent crying, you know when you hold your breath, and then all of a sudden I had to do a massive intake of breath and just carried on crying. Marley and Me fucked me over more than A Nightmare on Elm Street ever did.

lonelywater · 25/10/2024 22:05

MrsJoanDanvers · 25/10/2024 22:00

I thought I was watching a cute dog film when I put on 8 Below for me and the kids. At the end, I don’t know who of us was more traumatised 😂. My dd still reminds me years later!

I'm still traumatised by Lassie come home.

FloatyBoaty · 25/10/2024 22:03

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 21:57

@FloatyBoaty no I'm not suggesting that at all. Like you said, it is subjective. You do paint The Green Mile the horror that it isn't though. If that's your take, that is cool, but don't forget about the kind magic.

Edited

Im not arguing in bad faith here - I’m genuinely interested in your perspective… but do you really think it’s okay to show kids deeply unsuitable material, as long as it’s balanced out with kind, nice things? Do you think 11 year old brains are equipped to prioritise remembering those quite sophisticated thematic connections, over the more shocking, visually striking scenes? Because I don’t, but I’m interested to hear what you think.

MrsJoanDanvers · 25/10/2024 22:00

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 21:40

@FloatyBoaty I'd say that both the Green Mile and Marley and Me are both totally appropriate for an 11 year old, but like you say, it is subjective. Just because a film makes you weep (and both of them certainly did for me) doesn't mean it isn't appropriate.

Watership Down and Neverending Story broke my heart.

I thought I was watching a cute dog film when I put on 8 Below for me and the kids. At the end, I don’t know who of us was more traumatised 😂. My dd still reminds me years later!

ILoveToCleanSaidNooneEver · 25/10/2024 21:57

@FloatyBoaty no I'm not suggesting that at all. Like you said, it is subjective. You do paint The Green Mile the horror that it isn't though. If that's your take, that is cool, but don't forget about the kind magic.

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