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Original poster

Please help me find the perfect word to shut down HR

136 replies

FromTheBubblegumTree · 25/10/2024 14:06

I have agreed to help HR with their investigation (this is not a place where I work). They are sending me emails with a rude 'you will do what we say and comply with our processes because we are higher than you' tone. They have completely missed the point that I am not one of their employees and am doing them a favour. I owe them nothing.

I am in communication with someone else from the company. I want to say something along the lines of.

I am happy to help HR. I am not happy for HR to bully me.

Bully is too strong. I just want them to wind their neck in!

Please help. (I am rubbish at writing corporate emails)

OP posts:
Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 27/10/2024 05:44

ClytemnestraWasMisunderstood · 27/10/2024 05:35

If they are such an awful department to help, why on earth are you doing so?

Show quote history

Because people are at risk.

OP posts:
ClytemnestraWasMisunderstood · 27/10/2024 05:35

FromTheBubblegumTree · 27/10/2024 05:22

But I do know the purpose of the investigation, intention and likely outcome (s) depending on my input. They haven't hired a third party willingly but been forced to do this. Also I'm not employed in this industry. I haven't provided full details in my OP but the PPs have been very helpful with their suggested responses. These people absolutely do need to knocked down a few pegs as they have been entirely unprofessional and unethical. It will all come out in time, however it is important to call them out at this stage and disassociate myself from them and their 'processes'.

Show quote history

If they are such an awful department to help, why on earth are you doing so?

ClytemnestraWasMisunderstood · 27/10/2024 05:34

FromTheBubblegumTree · 25/10/2024 14:06

I have agreed to help HR with their investigation (this is not a place where I work). They are sending me emails with a rude 'you will do what we say and comply with our processes because we are higher than you' tone. They have completely missed the point that I am not one of their employees and am doing them a favour. I owe them nothing.

I am in communication with someone else from the company. I want to say something along the lines of.

I am happy to help HR. I am not happy for HR to bully me.

Bully is too strong. I just want them to wind their neck in!

Please help. (I am rubbish at writing corporate emails)

Oh, come on now.
You know it is impossible to interpret tone from an email. You cannot know that they are "rude" or written in a "higher than you" tone, for god's sake.
Think about this: you have been asked, as an external consultant, to do an investigation. They have sent you a formal email, outlining company policy in terms of forms to use and paramaters to work within.
This is more than normal in a professional workplace. They have an obligation to do this, as you should know if you are senior enough to be in a position to help with an investigation.
Are you looking for gushing 'thank you, thank you, thank you, @FromTheBubblegumTree ", emails written with lots of heart emojis?
Preciousness on steroids.

Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 27/10/2024 05:22

MissTrip82 · 27/10/2024 03:32

I would get legal advice on my own position.

I certainly would not send an email implying anyone is tampering with evidence. That would be an extremely stupid thing to do. There is no BOOM here, there is no putting someone in their place, there is an investigation you don't know the purpose, intention and likely outcome (nobody will have gone to a third party without a likely outcome in mind) of occurring in an industry in which you would like to remain employable.

Far more caution is needed then you will be goaded into displaying by people online who will not be dealing with the fallout.

But I do know the purpose of the investigation, intention and likely outcome (s) depending on my input. They haven't hired a third party willingly but been forced to do this. Also I'm not employed in this industry. I haven't provided full details in my OP but the PPs have been very helpful with their suggested responses. These people absolutely do need to knocked down a few pegs as they have been entirely unprofessional and unethical. It will all come out in time, however it is important to call them out at this stage and disassociate myself from them and their 'processes'.

OP posts:
MissTrip82 · 27/10/2024 03:32

I would get legal advice on my own position.

I certainly would not send an email implying anyone is tampering with evidence. That would be an extremely stupid thing to do. There is no BOOM here, there is no putting someone in their place, there is an investigation you don't know the purpose, intention and likely outcome (nobody will have gone to a third party without a likely outcome in mind) of occurring in an industry in which you would like to remain employable.

Far more caution is needed then you will be goaded into displaying by people online who will not be dealing with the fallout.

Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 27/10/2024 01:43

Katej82 · 26/10/2024 23:55

Are you self employed? Sub contract if it's not your workplace. If so they absolutely can't tell you what to do or they would then be treating you as an employee. It sounds to me like they are on the hunt for the person if they are investigating a person do you really want to help these horrible people achieve that.. I know what my answer would be adiós

Edited
Show quote history

I don't understand your point??

OP posts:
Katej82 · 26/10/2024 23:55

FromTheBubblegumTree · 25/10/2024 14:06

I have agreed to help HR with their investigation (this is not a place where I work). They are sending me emails with a rude 'you will do what we say and comply with our processes because we are higher than you' tone. They have completely missed the point that I am not one of their employees and am doing them a favour. I owe them nothing.

I am in communication with someone else from the company. I want to say something along the lines of.

I am happy to help HR. I am not happy for HR to bully me.

Bully is too strong. I just want them to wind their neck in!

Please help. (I am rubbish at writing corporate emails)

Are you self employed? Sub contract if it's not your workplace. If so they absolutely can't tell you what to do or they would then be treating you as an employee. It sounds to me like they are on the hunt for the person if they are investigating a person do you really want to help these horrible people achieve that.. I know what my answer would be adiós

Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 26/10/2024 20:55

pollymere · 26/10/2024 20:35

Harass/threaten/demean...

Ask if they treat actual employees better than they're treating you!

For a second there I thought you were telling me to harass, threaten and demean HR 😂

OP posts:
pollymere · 26/10/2024 20:35

Harass/threaten/demean...

Ask if they treat actual employees better than they're treating you!

Efrogwraig · 26/10/2024 19:41

Pressure or Pressurise me.

JohnnysMama · 26/10/2024 19:14

FromTheBubblegumTree · 25/10/2024 14:06

I have agreed to help HR with their investigation (this is not a place where I work). They are sending me emails with a rude 'you will do what we say and comply with our processes because we are higher than you' tone. They have completely missed the point that I am not one of their employees and am doing them a favour. I owe them nothing.

I am in communication with someone else from the company. I want to say something along the lines of.

I am happy to help HR. I am not happy for HR to bully me.

Bully is too strong. I just want them to wind their neck in!

Please help. (I am rubbish at writing corporate emails)

Use chatGPT- I find it always helpful. Describe the situation and instruct what tone you want your email to be and what you want to communicate

Oblomov24 · 26/10/2024 18:20

Good suggestions to op.

BESTAUNTB · 26/10/2024 18:10

Have you taken your own legal advice on this, OP?

Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 26/10/2024 18:01

The big thing is that I do not have the investigator's contact details, or even their name. This will happen in due course but for now HR are acting as gatekeepers.

OP posts:
ShergarAgain · 26/10/2024 18:00

While I am happy to assist HR, I am not obliged to do so and if they continue to attempt to compel a response from me I will withdraw my support.

Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 26/10/2024 17:59

TrixieMixie · 26/10/2024 17:46

Why not do something revolutionary such as talk to someone in person? The tone of emails is sometimes misleading. But if HR are behaving unethically you perhaps should get yourself independent legal advice?

Edited

Because they are based on the other side of the country, approximately a 6 hour drive away and I'm trying to keep a paper trail for when everything goes tits up 🙂

OP posts:
NC10125 · 26/10/2024 17:59

FromTheBubblegumTree · 25/10/2024 14:32

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I will try.
The investigation is being conducted by a third party (so external to the company) to inform a HR process. HR are trying to control what gets sent to the external investigator. They have already fabricated evidence and missed out important evidence. In the email they basically said, we are sending the investigator information you have provided ...I reminded them that I had formally spoken to them yet, and so asked to see whatever they were sending so I can read it and confirm. That was when they got rude. In sum, HR are trying to manipulate the external process, acting as the middleman.

Show quote history

If they’re trying to fudge the investigation I wouldn’t reply to this initially.

I would firstly send your formal statement, signed and dated, to the investigator with hr ccd in.

Then I would send hr “That’s lovely of you to offer to support with this, but I’m not sure that this process is appropriate as I don’t work for Xcorp. I have sent my statement to the investigator and let them know I am available for questions. ‘

TrixieMixie · 26/10/2024 17:46

Why not do something revolutionary such as talk to someone in person? The tone of emails is sometimes misleading. But if HR are behaving unethically you perhaps should get yourself independent legal advice?

sharpclawedkitten · 26/10/2024 14:21

ChequerToRed · 26/10/2024 13:39

‘Officious’ sounds like a word that fits well in this situation

Yes!

sharpclawedkitten · 26/10/2024 14:21

DemonicCaveMaggot · 25/10/2024 17:03

'I do not appreciate the tone of your emails. I am not your subordinate or an employee of X company, I am helping you purely on a voluntary basis and I would like this reflected in your future communications or I will be reconsidering my involvement'.

That might be a bit strong though.

Nah not too strong. This is well worded. But I think things have moved on in the thread and the OP should just ignore HR and deal directly with the parties she has agreed to assist.

ChequerToRed · 26/10/2024 13:39

‘Officious’ sounds like a word that fits well in this situation

ItTook9Years · 26/10/2024 13:36

World’s gone mad.

We have no idea what the investigation is about, the sector or the professions of anyone involved (apart from HR). So why you would assume any part of this involved any sort of Professional Standards as part of a suggested reply is utterly bizarre.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/10/2024 12:57

ItTook9Years · 25/10/2024 17:06

In order to avoid any confusion or suspicion of impropriety and inherent breach of Professional Standards and Statutory requirements, I must therefore restate my position that under no circumstances is any communication in my name to be forwarded to the independent investigator without my prior approval.

My team would love that.

To what “Professional Standards and Statutory requirements” are you referring?

Show quote history

As the OP is quite sensibly not specifying which sector this is, never mind the status or job titles of the persons involved, it's not possible to enlighten you further, unfortunately. But you can be reassured that I would have already known which particular ones applied to all parties involved and those relating to my own role before I responded in that vein, whether or not a 'team' and their manager were apparently blissfully unaware of their existence or merely affecting a state of ignorance.

Original poster
FromTheBubblegumTree · 26/10/2024 09:13

Just a quick update...
So, after all the helpful replies, I sent an email to the company. I received a short acknowledgement "comment notes re. other process" ( complete with typo 😅). So let's hope it does the trick. Otherwise I may be back for some more MN nuclear options!

OP posts:
nfkl · 25/10/2024 19:44

coxesorangepippin · 25/10/2024 14:16

Can I kindly remind you I am cooperating with your department on a voluntary basis?

^

This is so Mumsnet!

😁😁😁
I m really not the typical mnetter but that really made me laugh and I’m actually very flattered (honed my passive aggressive skills while working in customer services)

@NeverDropYourMooncup you’re my new hero, yours is magnificent!