How to save money

I have stopped buying meat. Not because I'm vegetarian (I'm not), but I am saving £££ by not buying meat. We do have meat occasionally, but usually something I can make more than one meal from.

This.

Maybe go onto the Martin Lewis website to see if you could save on utility bills, mobile phone contracts etc.

Takeaways are astronomical! I couldn’t believe how much our last Chinese delivery cost! We don’t even have takeaways monthly nowadays.

I'd try to save money according to the useful advice above, but I'd also try to increase my working hours significantly.

I have a Hyperjar account. It's online and free and the equivalent of having lots of envelopes to save money in. For example, I have a 'jar' for Christmas, MOT, parking permit, pet...

I know that won't help with overspending as such, but if you allocate money such as the nursery, lunches, clothes, then once it's gone, it's gone. It certainly makes me far more aware of where my money is going and I'm prepared for any biggish bills.

Does childcare cost more than either wage? If not, that person needs to work full time. If it does, that person needs to give up work for a while.

I invested in a really nice coffee cup and lunchbox, so I now feel like my packed lunch is quite a treat. You can easily make food at home.

Also, bulk out casseroles/chilli/, Bolognese with pulses. Buy them dried and soak overnight or tinned. Either way they'll help fill up your DCs and are cheap and healthy.

Could you sell old clothes on Vinted, then save that money for treats now and then?

Make a big cake/flapjacks as snacks.

You need to write everything down for at least two months - every single penny BOTH of you spend. Even if you have two separate bank accounts you have to think of your money as 'pooled'.

Then look at all your regular payments. See if you need them (and by this I mean check your debit card because a lot of those wee sneaky subscriptions aren't going out by direct debit so they're harder to catch).

Stop what you don't need.

Then go through each necessary payment (utilities, phone, etc) and see if there's a better deal to be had elsewhere.

Meantime, get a second account, Starling or Monzo. Allocate a budget for food/lunches and transfer that amount onto the card each week. When it's gone, it's gone.

Meal plan, and use your freezer intelligently.

Just checking that you are using tax free child care scheme?

I disagree about using cash completely as long as you are disciplined. I have used a credit card for almost every single purchase I have ever made as has DH, we do clear the balance every month and view it as a debit card.

Over 30 years due to the rewards offered we have had multiple days out, places such as Legoland, sea life centre and many others plus magazine subs with my Tesco credit card, to be fair the rewards are not as good now. With DH he had air miles and used to fly a lot with work, that was just luck but we used to use those for car hire and hotels.

We had the years of long hours and commutes, we were both FT, we got a slow cooker and just chucked everything in before work.

I don't agree she's not in debt she's just nearly used up her savings that's she's relying on.
There will be cut backs before working more. Sometimes extra spending is caused by extra working due to commuting coffee temptations and being too tired to cook so ordering in etc

Always take lunch and a flask of coffee
Take away once a month
Never buy an item unless it needs replacing, this is everything
Never impulse buy

Eat less meat and more pulses, I do stuff like chick peas with some chorizo it’s much cheaper. We did it more for health reasons. I’m ok with vegetarian food, mine are not keen this seemed like a good compromise.

We did an exact budget for a year split in to every category to decide if we could retire in our fifties. There are essentials and then there are wants. We spent 28k last year, no mortgage or childcare and I get that these are the major expenses but we spent that without these two major expenses and it seems quite a lot. Some can’t afford essentials, I am guessing you give in to wants too much as well as just everything just being more expensive.

I think it's really really hard to spend less money simply by "trying to be careful". I agree with other posters that you need a proper budget, either in a spreadsheet or using an app, to keep track of where the money is going. Compare budget and actual spending each month for each category to see where you can cut back.

It really isn't the only way. First, one needs to have a look at spending because you can work all hours in the world and still buy a new pair of Jimmy Choos every week. Then one can look at whether they are able to get a job with a better salary. One can also use existing assets to make money (like inheritance). My savings interest alone makes me nearly £100 a month and, I imagine, OP's inheritance could have been put to a better use.
And only if that fails, one can think of working more hours.

Review the cost of everything and cut down where you can. Lots of small savings add up. Areas where the easiest savings to make could be broadband and mobiles and any food and drink out of the house and snacks/takeaways. A lower cost alternative to a takeaway could be a nice meal deal from a supermarket - M&S have a good range of 'dine in' options that still feel like a treat, or get nice pizzas or ready made curries etc.

Also second the recommendation about whether you're able to work when DH is at home to look after DC. What about baby sitting in the run up to Christmas?

Do you have anything you can sell to bring in more money?

Have a look at Moneysaving Expert's money makeover - a systematic guide to reviewing every cost to make your money go further.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

You said it better than I did!

Your DH isn't pooling money and you're only working part time. Those are your problems, if your DH is benefitting from you working part time (ie you do more at home) he should value you and pool the money. If he won't do it, go full time and prepare yourself financially for when the relationship inevitably breaks down.

Walk around supermarkets with a calculator on a phone, honestly doing this has made me save £100s a month.
Order meat in bulk from places like muscle foods you will save a fortune! £100 of meat lasts us 6-7 weeks!

Stop buying lunches that's over £100 a month. Make your lunch the night before.

Second hand for things like kids clothes while they're so little.

I would suggest to stop spending with card, and use cash only - then you can more easily see how much money you have, and it makes it easier to decide not to spend it. Put the food budget for the week/month into an envelope. You have to practise saying no more often.

Then there are things like writing down a list of things you want/need to buy in a list, and waiting before deciding whether to buy them. After a wait they might not feel so necessary, and if they are you can then plan how to schedule them to fit into the budget.

It's hard and draining to have to be on your guard in this way to reduce spending, but when you need to there isn't much alternative.

Do you and your DH have a joint account? Sounds like you have separate money? Even if he has “nothing” much leftover I think you need to bring your finances together into one pot (if you don’t already)

just re read up thread and you guys have separate accounts! No wonder you’re struggling!

Oh and also I use Snoop to track spending.

I've opened a Starling account and put my lunch money in it. You can have a takeaway pot, a clothes pot etc. I but all my coffees, takeaway lunch etc from that card and when it's gone it's gone.

I agree with a couple of other posters- you need to approach this has a household issue.
I think your first step is sitting down together and working out exactly what you are both spending money on, and whether the split is fair. This includes savings, pensions, investments, debts etc. Identify anywhere that you can cut back.
It's probably been mentioned alread, but the budgeting resources on 'money saving expert' are a good starting point.