Would you stay with a man who punched a door

Because for most it is hypothetical. Not suggesting that’s the case for everyone. I left my ex, not for an affair, but for something more unforgivable and I know how tough that is. Having kids means your life is intertwined still, and it’s not nice leaving someone then co-parenting and being a united front still. My youngest was only 2yrs old when we split, she’s 17 soon and it’s been tough keeping things amicable and a solid co-parenting relationship going. An affair i’d have probably forgiven for the sake of the kids, but I do admire women who walk away. As you know, when your life is connected it’s tough and often easier to stay. Well done for walking away.

My ex punched a hole in my door in a fit of rage a couple of months into our relationship. I stupidly stayed with him because he managed to twist things so it was my fault he was so wound up. It took him years to replace the door and by that point, he'd punched me too. I finally saw sense the second time he hit me and threw him out. How he loved to spin the narrative that I'd left him destitute. Decades on he's still in a complete mess and everything is always someone else's fault. How I wish I had Mumsnet back then. I wouldn't have wasted a second more of my life on him.

With hindsight, no. I lived with a very angry man. He never hit me or kids but his rage was frightening. Screaming, shouting, banging things. Never saw anything wrong with his behaviour and won't ever change. They don't.

Have you ever punched a door so hard it splintered..... over freezer bags?

What makes you think it's hypothetical? I left. Didn't have kids but we had pets and a house and a life. I still left. One time was more than enough.

Ans I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Ignore it. It's been goading women abuse victims in other threads tonight.

Spot the violent thug.

No I wouldn't stay with a man who punched a door and split the wood in anger. I would find it terrifying if a man did that.

No.
When a man punches the wall or breaks furniture in front of you,what he's saying is, You're next.

Get rid of him

At 20/21/22 I did. It didn't last and he didn't 'grow out of it' as is naively hoped. He is now my exH. As is my second DP. No more shit for me, I can't be bothered with any of it and an ten times happier living with 3 dogs, and cat, alone. I have friends, a job/business and family and never feel alone. Wish I dumped them both ages before we split. Men like this, rarely if ever, change.

No this is abusive behaviour. My first long term partner started doing this after a few years, then he started standing over me intimidatingly, then he kicked doors in as I cowered on the other side, and eventually he assaulted me.
It is not your fault. You’re not responsible for his behaviour. Please leave him before this gets worse.

Ive not read any of the replies, or the drip feed which i am sure is in there somewhere but my answer is.. it depends on why they punched a door?

I love people who say this. I just assume I know better than everyone who's commented, and the OP, and my pearls of wisdom won't have been covered already (100 times).

This thread has brought some memories back for me.

Hit a wall.
Stamped on a possession of mine.
Threw a cup of tea at the wall beside me.
Pushed me while I held our baby.
Punched a glass panel and walked round the house dripping the blood on the floor.
Broke the lights on my car.

More will probably come back to me.

If it was something once in a lifetime, like his brother got run over by a car or something...then yes.

If it was just in anger or frustration then no, because it always escalates.

Depends

Obviously not

Lots of people are saying NO (and i absolutely think that is what you should do) but I have to admit I have (and still am). He's only ever laid hands on me once, years ago (dragged me out of a chair) although he sometimes does break things/flip furniture/punch walls in anger. I gave him an ultimatum that he packs it in and gets therapy or I'm gone, and that's what he's done so I'm giving him one more chance. If this is truly a one off, and you do decide to ignore all the advice on here and you stay, MAKE SURE you lay down the law and insist that he gets therapy and changes so this never ever happens again.

Use your pay out to get away from this violent man.
Thank christ you don't have children with him.
This is domestic abuse by a violent man that thinks he can behave one way at home and another outside.

AKA a house terrorist.
Tell family and friends the truth and get away from him.

Well what if they are autistic and they release anger by doing this. If so yes but I would want them to manage their anger better but maybe I’m being naive

NO.

@latenitewine

Please do the free online course for domestic violence victims (whether physical, emotional or financial):

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

He’s a very dangerous man. Please get out asap - but bear in mind that if he suspects you’re going to leave him his violence may escalate, so do take advice on how to do this safely from organizations such as:

www.womensaid.org.uk

www.refuge.org.uk

REMEMBER to clear your browsing history/cookies in case he is monitoring your devices!

Wishing you all the best.

Those that have experienced abuse will tell you to leave. Please listen to them.

One of my exes got angry like this, punching things, not controlling his anger etc. I stayed until the day when he pushed me onto the bed and held me down around my neck. It left finger marks. Don't let it go as far as that.

Get a job, any job so that you can keep your redundancy payment to use to set you up. He's trapping you by saying you can't get a temp job. You'll be totally dependent on him when you have no money.

My ex partner once slammed a sliding door so hard it came off. Ofcourse he said it was my fault for making him so angry. He never changed, his anger bursts came back time and time again.
Leave.