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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kissing babies

42 replies

K725 · 24/10/2024 22:09

I am very freaked out by the dangers of kissing babies. Lots of adults who I know and trust with my son have kissed him and then I've had to ask them not to. Some have understood but a lot have told me I'm being unreasonable.
Today someone kissed him on the cheek and I used a wet wipe straight away to remove any germs but I'm now freaking out with all of the worries of what could happen.
Am I being unreasonable? I don't mean to be if I am, I'm just a new mum and desperately want to do the best I can to care for him.

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User79853257976 · 27/10/2024 11:53

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/10/2024 08:18

My friend gave her older baby this virus and she had to be put on an antiviral drip in hospital

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Oh so scary!

dontbedaft2000 · 27/10/2024 08:32

Ignore the weirdos pretending it's not a problem, kissing babies can kill them, sometimes does and everyone knows it, definitely not up for any kind of debate.

Anyone who doesn't care about that is a psycho, or just dumb as a bag of hammers and unable to calculate avoidable risk, so just keep those clowns away from your kid at least till he's older.

https://www.parents.com/why-a-nurse-took-to-tiktok-to-warn-about-kissing-babies-8691458

https://kidnurse.org/kissing-babies-risk/

‘Put Those Lethal Lips Away’—TikTok Nurse Warns About Danger of Kissing Newborns

Newborn babies are cute and cuddly. However, there's a reason pediatricians recommend not kissing them. Here's why.

https://www.parents.com/why-a-nurse-took-to-tiktok-to-warn-about-kissing-babies-8691458

Borninabarn32 · 27/10/2024 08:29

YANBU don't kiss other people's babies, it's simple.

Tangerinenets · 27/10/2024 08:27

morellamalessdrama · 26/10/2024 18:14

I've only ever heard of people not kissing babies on Mumsnet.

I appreciate, reading the linked articles, that there is a valid concern but it's not something I'd ever heard about and I'm not that old (44).

I have three children. Youngest one is 13. I've never heard it spoken about by my friend and family groups either so I'm always surprised it's such a popular discussion topic.

Agree mumsnet is a whole different and weird world!

Tangerinenets · 27/10/2024 08:25

I couldn’t get worked up about it. Mine are older now, all adults and still alive despite being kissed a lot . I wouldn’t even notice if someone kissed them. It’s sad really because when mine were little I used to happily hand them over for cuddles to friends and family but I would be really paranoid about holding someone’s baby these days!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/10/2024 08:21

FloralGums · 24/10/2024 22:25

Babies are born with very good immune systems - antibodies are passed through the placenta.
Breast feeding also passes antibodies to the baby.
It’s very important a baby’s immune system encounters germs - it strengthens it further. Avoiding germs causes problems in childhood and later life - things like allergies, asthma, eczema, hay fever etc.
Kissing babies is natural and brings far more benefits than problems.

Not for the first few weeks when the blood rain barrier isn't established this is dangerous

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/10/2024 08:18

User79853257976 · 24/10/2024 22:20

It’s the herpes virus I was scared of. YANBU.

My friend gave her older baby this virus and she had to be put on an antiviral drip in hospital

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/10/2024 08:17

Sorry this one not bliss www.lullabytrust.org.uk/over-half-of-uk-parents-unaware-of-risk-kissing-poses-to-newborns/

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/10/2024 08:17

I would send every visitor a bliss charity link

VioletCrawleyForever · 26/10/2024 19:00

@BashfulClam

Ah bless you.

Insulting me won't persuade me either.

Its all about balancing risk and death by kissing is a tiny one.

BashfulClam · 26/10/2024 18:46

VioletCrawleyForever · 26/10/2024 18:38

Very tragic and very rare.

but doesn’t change my mind

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Any decent patent would do anything to protect their children.

VioletCrawleyForever · 26/10/2024 18:38

BashfulClam · 26/10/2024 16:59

A baby in my town died after contracting strep B. He got it from a relatives kiss! If you have strep B you don’t even know about it so it’s not as easy as keeping unwell people away etc.

kissable and very vulnerable!

Show quote history

Very tragic and very rare.

but doesn’t change my mind

AgileGreenSeal · 26/10/2024 18:17

Absolutely no way would I allow anyone to kiss my baby (many years ago). YANBU

morellamalessdrama · 26/10/2024 18:14

I've only ever heard of people not kissing babies on Mumsnet.

I appreciate, reading the linked articles, that there is a valid concern but it's not something I'd ever heard about and I'm not that old (44).

I have three children. Youngest one is 13. I've never heard it spoken about by my friend and family groups either so I'm always surprised it's such a popular discussion topic.

ChristmasFluff · 26/10/2024 17:57

Family kissinng on the cheek or head will not cause any problems. Kissing on the mouth would be weird anyway.

Took my son on the 'grand tour' at 5 weeks, and he was kissed and cuddled by the whole extended family - and lived to tell the tale. We are not in Victorian times, and of course I was EBF, so he had my immunity.

Siblings are surely the most likely to pass on germs, so are all these no-kissing people extending that to siblings? Yeah, that rule will be followed to the letter....

BashfulClam · 26/10/2024 16:59

VioletCrawleyForever · 26/10/2024 15:45

I never minded my family kissing my babies.

They are very kissable.

I think wiping kisses away with wipes is weird and rude.

A baby in my town died after contracting strep B. He got it from a relatives kiss! If you have strep B you don’t even know about it so it’s not as easy as keeping unwell people away etc.

kissable and very vulnerable!

toastofthetown · 26/10/2024 16:48

You're not being unreasonable. I'm pregnant and won't allow people to kiss my baby. Babies don't need to be kissed by extended family, so there's no point taking the risk. If people didn't respect that then they wouldn't be allowed to hold the baby in the future. Your baby will almost certainly be fine so I wouldn't worry about what could happen.

Tillow4ever · 26/10/2024 16:42

I think it depends on where they are kidding them!

On the lips - weird and unnecessary. YANBU

On the cheek/forehead/head - perfectly fine for someone you know to do this. YABU.

Obviously the exception to the bottom one is if they are unwell. But you'd want them to stay awake completely, not just not kiss them!

NewYearNewJob2024 · 26/10/2024 15:51

YANBU. Neonatal herpes can lead to life ling disability and even death. So just stand your ground and try not to worry what anybody else thinks. It's not worth it.

VioletCrawleyForever · 26/10/2024 15:45

I never minded my family kissing my babies.

They are very kissable.

I think wiping kisses away with wipes is weird and rude.

Bignanna · 26/10/2024 15:35

It’s a big risk if they have cold sores! I wouldn’t like anyone slobbering over my baby either.

BabyOwlinthePlumeria · 26/10/2024 15:32

Yanbu. I also ask that people don't kiss their hands

ColonelRhubarbBikini · 26/10/2024 15:28

It wouldn’t even occur to me to kiss a baby if it wasn’t someone super close to me like family or best friend. Even if I do kiss babies I always go for the tops of their little fuzzy heads.

They don’t need my germs, they get enough exposure during the ‘I’m going to put everything in my mouth or my mouth on everything’ stage of babyhood.

LegoHouse274 · 26/10/2024 15:22

I've never really thought about this but to be honest thinking about it not many of my relatives have ever kissed my kids as tiny babies. And when they did, it was always on the head. I've kissed all my kids from birth but only on the head, same for DH. I'd be fine with a relative or friend doing the same as long as they're healthy. But I wouldn't be letting anyone come close to my baby if they weren't well anyway, so they wouldn't get close enough to kiss them.

DH does get cold sores which he's always been anxious about and obviously would never kiss any child whilst he had one, in fact he's over cautious about limiting close facial exposure. Our elder children are 3 and 6 and neither have ever had a coldsore despite DH having bouts where he gets them frequently and quite severely. He's scrupulous about hygiene to protect them from it.

Makingchocolatecake · 26/10/2024 15:11

No one should be kissing baby except parents.

But wet wipes will not kill germs.