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AIBU?

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Original poster

How should I reply to this message?

89 replies

Autumn1000 · 24/10/2024 20:49

Need some advice. Me and this guy matched on Tinder. We work together. We don't work directly with each other every day but we have to discuss things now and then.
We have been chatting a bit and he's just replied in his message with this:

"I’m not sure why i swiped as I don’t think a work relationship is a good idea!! you are cute though 😊"

I'm neurodiverse so can't work out if he's feeling out what I'm going to say back or if he's trying to let me down gently and doesn't actually think it's a good idea. Don't people meet at work all the time?
Or should I just agree and suggest being friends?

OP posts:
Liglig · 24/10/2024 21:01

Hmm I'm not 100 percent sure, do you both ever meet outside of work? Could it be that he is suggesting you do more things outside of work and just keep work as just work. Either way it sounds like he likes you as he put a smiley face, even if it just turns out to be friendship.

MadnessIsMyMiddleName · 24/10/2024 21:00

I'd let this go OP, and not bother following it up. He obviously fancies you but has perhaps been burned by a work place relationship before, and is now having second thoughts as to whether it's worth risking the chaos it can cause if things go wrong. You are right, lots of people meet their partner/spouse at work, but also a lot of these type of relationships go wrong, leading to one or other of the people involved, having to change job, because it turns nasty when they realise that things aren't working out. This is why many company's specify in your contract that work relationships are not allowed. Never worth it in my opinion.

Sethera · 24/10/2024 20:58

You haven't even been on a date yet and he's messing you about with self-indulgent, ambiguous messages. Forget him and move on.

Whothefuckdoesthat · 24/10/2024 20:58

He’s probably right, to be honest. It has the potential to get very messy if things go south.

I’d advise you not to reply. Or reply with something like ‘Yes, that’s sensible. Friendly colleagues it is then 🙂’

Original poster
Autumn1000 · 24/10/2024 20:58

Bogginsthe3rd · 24/10/2024 20:54

He wants more but is testing the waters. Making sure you know he is a work colleague (which clearly you do). I would go for it if you like him. His emoji says he's well up for it.

I don't know 🙈 I'm so confused.

OP posts:
YourFunMember · 24/10/2024 20:58

Either ignore or say ‘fair enough! And thanks! Take care’

thistimelastweek · 24/10/2024 20:57

I'd just reply with the thumbs up emoji and leave it at that.

pictoosh · 24/10/2024 20:56

No response required. He has left the ball in his own court.

ManhattanPopcorn · 24/10/2024 20:55

He's not sure himself. He's just thinking out loud. It doesn't require a response.

Bogginsthe3rd · 24/10/2024 20:54

He wants more but is testing the waters. Making sure you know he is a work colleague (which clearly you do). I would go for it if you like him. His emoji says he's well up for it.

ThatAgileGoldMoose · 24/10/2024 20:54

He's letting you down gently. I don't think you need to reply at all. X

TiramisuTastesDreamy · 24/10/2024 20:53

Think I’d ignore - he’s saying sorry I swiped as we are work colleagues . End of

ZekeZeke · 24/10/2024 20:52

Yes people meet through work and form relationships
However, Tinder is for hook ups, not dating.
Don't poop on your own doorstep.

BirthdayRainbow · 24/10/2024 20:51

I'd ignore it. Send nothing back.

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