To give toddler snacks in the morning

I think the issue here is around the vocabulary. Using a phrase like "allowed to choose a snack" is completely different to (and sounds much worse than) "eats fruit and yoghurt for breakfast". Does your DH realise what's really going on?

Exactly the same here. If my DH after going to work tried to tell me what and when I could feed our 2 year old he'd get told to fuck right off. Bloody hell it's not like your feeding him crisps and cake ffs

Well DH has 2 options, get the toddler ready himself and take him to nursery or shut the fuck up.

Mornings are tough @juicepeese. As far as I’m concerned, you find a system that works for you and you go with it 👍🏻 When DH is doing it, he gets an opinion!

My DH works offshore so for weeks at a time it’s just DS and I needing to leave the house at 7.40am for nursery drop off and work.

I don’t allow screen time on nursery days personally as it just doesn’t work for us and causes DS to go 10x slower 🤦🏻‍♀️😅 so I make him breakfast (he doesn’t get it at nursery) and then I do my hair/makeup in the lounge with him while he eats breakfast and we chat and listen to stories on his Yoto player. Then it’s teeth, dressed and out the door.

Whether it’s called breakfast or “snack”, it’s all the same IMO. Kid needs fed, kid gets fed 👍🏻

When he’s the one getting child up, dressed and to nursery, he can have am opinion

@MissyB1 only one of them is questioning the current system. So he can sit and have breakfast if he wants to. She doesn't.

That's not a snack, it's just breakfast!

My DD gets up stupid early. On nursery days, She always has a banana and maybe a yoghurt or some other fruit whilst I get ready for work and watches peter rabbit. Sometimes she eats some cereal at nursery, others not. They have their lunch at like 11am after a snack at 9.30.
The alternatives are: she screams the house down cause she's hungry and wants feeding. Or me losing the plot cause I'm trying to get ready with a crying miserable toddler tripping me up. You do what you gotta do. You're not letting them play with scissors. Your DH is a knob.

I think you've missed the point.
It's not about cosy family breakfasts. The OP needs to buy time for herself.

Isn’t that called breakfast? It’s absolutely fine.

I’m glad no one is telling you any nonsense like you shouldn’t be doing something frivolous like putting on makeup but should be playing with your child or some such!

it’s absolutely fine what you’re doing Op, don’t give it another thought

Well yes either of them.

We do similar in the mornings except my son usually wants a banana. He definitely can't wait until we're all ready for breakfast or until nursery breakfast on those days. Sometimes we all just have stupidly early breakfast. Then of course by 9 we're all hungry - no difference if we eat our snacks at 7am or 9am.
Likewise at 11.30 half a Marmite sandwich and cheese sticks- is it a big snack or lunch? Who cares, I'm glad if he's eating anything tbh given how picky he is. It's just words to describe the same thing. Tell your DH you're now giving a small breakfast and continue to give the same foods then after a few weeks break the news to him.

Could he?

What kind of utter prat complains about their child eating fruit and yogurt in the morning?! Your morning routine sounds completely reasonable to me. It’s not “snacks”, it’s “breakfast”.

You aren't feeding him Haribos and Wotsits. You are giving him proper food, not snacks. If your DH has a problem with what you are offering, suggest he feeds your DS before he saunters out of the house without a care in the world.

Do you have breakfast? Could you sit and eat it with him?

Also, is the idea that he shouldn't have anything to eat at home in the morning and should wait until he gets to nursery to eat a bowl of sugar laden cereal? Because my kids would be hungry if I did that.

Fruit and yoghurt is a healthier breakfast than cereal.

Well he just volunteered to get DS ready in the morning, didn't he?

You can either expect someone to do the job, or tell them how to do the job, but not both. He's not your manager, you aren't staff.

My DH says "who would employ a husband that stupid?"

You DH has no clue, because he doesn't have to do it. FWIW DH works from home so usually has to get our two ready for nursery whilst I shower / dress. Food and tv are part of that.

Malt loaf and some fruit sounds like breakfast, just in 2 parts.

I do similar with DS4 who wakes up early - I give him something easy when he wakes up (eg bowl of raspberries, a few crackers) then later when his older brother wakes up he has the second part of his breakfast (eg slice of toast or a yoghurt).
On breakfast club days both my DC have a small breakfast at home to keep them going, and the second part of breakfast at school.

Who cares what DH thinks? He's fucked off to work leaving you to it.
Why does he even know or care about that level of detail after he's left the house?
I cannot imagine that level of interference in my life/parental choices

What are the actual items? Do you prep the box in the morning?

I don’t understand the problem. You are basically giving your child breakfast in a way that allows you to get ready. 3 year olds are really hard work. You have found a routine that works for you. Great!
What exactly is DH complaining about? That you call it snack rather than breakfast? What would the alternative breakfast be? What kind of cereal would he be having and is it actually nutritionally any better?