It's just a fiver

Are you expecting children to receive presents from work colleagues? Up the chimneys?

We've asked staff not to do collections for this reason. Your manager is particularly rude and pushy, but even a lighter touch request is embarrassing if you're broke. It also risks turning into some sort of popularity barometer of who got the best gift/biggest collection. One poor woman had a tenner in hers as no one was in the office to contribute. We now buy a gift from the company for big occasions (not ordinary birthdays) and send a card round for signing.

Well done. Please do not give in as otherwise it will be endless.

If it is "only" £5 then your manager can afford another £5 on your behalf if £5 is nothing to her.

I'll never forget the time I joined a new office, had been there approx 4 weeks and was asked to contribute £30 to a gift for a colleague that was going off on maternity leave! I nearly passed out when I was asked and as I was new and didn't know them well enough I didn't want to seem mean. So I paid. Have regretted it ever since as the girl never came back from maternity leave. I'm actually getting cross at myself again reliving it!

Not being unreasonable
I only give for colleagues I genuinely like and even then it's rarely £5!

Well done OP, next time repeat or just say…
I don’t give for work gifts and don’t expect to receive, but thanks for making me aware of the collection …. and leave it at that.
Some people have zero idea ie manager

When we do collections at work, which we do frequently, some put in and some don’t, some put a fiver in and some put in a quid but there’s no expectation of putting anything in. We all always sign the card.

Most people would never want to be the recipient of a gift that had left the giver struggling.

Go into work tomorrow and "forget" to take your purse. Ask boss if you can borrow a fiver for lunch. Observe.

well done for saying no

Some people don’t appreciate just how much a fiver can affect your weekly budget if you don’t have a huge amount of money.
I was a single mum for a long time and a five would have been a couple of meals for me and DC

Start as you mean to go on. They won't bother asking after a while hopefully.

I think it's completely wrong to stipulate an amount and even worse to make the comment she then made. As PPs have said, any contribution should be entirely voluntary.

We usually only do (voluntary) collections for big birthdays, weddings, new babies and retirements.

If it's just a fiver, she could put one in for you ... :)

(I would NEVER dare say this in real life, much less to a manager/superior but just imagine her face ... If you were really feeling cheeky you could report her to HR for pressuring her - as a manager she should be smoother.)

It all adds up. With the pandemic and collections moving to paypal, my usual £1 or £2 offerings seemed paltry, so I defaulted to £5, but I do think this is a lot. You know your financial circumstances. I hate that collections happen at work as it raises this issue, which should never come up. Your participation, or not, and the amount should all be confidential, like it was for us pre pandemic.

I think any contribution should be (a) voluntary and (b) not a set amount.

In one place I worked in the past I had to budget £50 a month for baby collections, birthdays sponsorship for charity things... We were all expected to do some sort of money raising for charity and the company would match the donation (and avoid paying tax by doing so) so it used to get ridiculous.
Nothing wrong with opting out OP. Your manager should realise not everyone is in the same financial situation as her.

It may be just a fiver but it's your fiver.
Yours to decide how you spend it.
She should never have put you in that position and you were quite right to refuse.

It’s just a fiver this time but it’s not just a fiver when there is 3 birthdays, a wedding, a baby and a retirement all in the same month.

We only do cards and a collection for retirements,someone leaving and big birthdays, but no one is obliged to sign the card or give to a collection.

She shouldn't ask anyone directly. And then if she made the mistake of rattling the tin, she should've backed off as soon as you said you couldn't afford it, not tried to push it being only a fiver. She's a cheeky bugger.

£5 here and there adds up. What if there were 4 birthdays in one month?
You did the right thing, I bet you weren't the only one who didn't want to give that much, you were just the only one brave enough to say no.
She has a cheek and she's not a good manager if she thinks it's acceptable to collect for every birthday and decides on how much to give. It should be entirely voluntary.

No adult needs a present from work colleagues. Thankfully for me that all stopped in covid and never came back

the "it's only a fiver" is so rude. We do send cards around for key events (not birthdays!), so things like new job, new baby, wedding etc. and even then it's completely fine for people to just sign the card. Don't feel bad. You'll have done everyone a favour by putting your foot down.

Stick to your guns. You're there to earn money, not spend it.

My work don’t do collections for birthdays. The company pays for a gift for everyone and it’s posted to them. Just some smellies and chocolate. But it’s nice and takes the pressure off individuals. More companies should do that!

Well done for saying no. I would have too and opted out of receiving anything for my birthday.