It's just a fiver

Exactly this.

it's reminding me of the episode of friends when ross had to contribute to the man who did stuff when he'd only just moved into the apartment. but phoebe contributed etc etc.

Yeah, I contributed 50-60 quid a year for about a decade to birthdays, baby gifts, leaving gifts for colleagues. When several of us retired over the summer due to financial cuts, no collection was raised for any of us. If you don’t want to contribute, don’t contribute. It should not be mandatory.

Believe it or not. Some people live paycheck to paycheck. Not everyone has spare money sitting in their account. £5 can get me quite a few bits in Aldi to make a meal which will last nearly a week

@FeistyFrankie well if you can easily afford £5, then you giving £2 seems VERY stingy to me.

If someone hasn't got £5, like a PP, then you calling them "stingy" for not giving what they don't have is disgraceful.

It’s the old Ross Gellar situation isn’t it - any reason to say no is a valid reason, but some arse will try and make a big deal out of it. I’d email someone above or HR to ask that a more subtle, opt-out workplace gift scheme is implemented as you will not be humiliated into giving more than you can afford for others.

The only collections I had at work were my 40th birthday- even during lockdown. Then
leaving.

Have been off sick for 8 weeks plus from surgeries Did I get a collection? No. About 15 months ago a colleague was having a collection for the same procedure I had ten years prior. I said to the organiser who was working when I had the surgery, so where is my collection from Aug 2013? She shrugged and left. I didn’t contribute to this colleague’s collection. When the sick colleague returned I apologised for not chipping in. The sick colleague felt embarrassed for having a collection. This was before my revelation.

Yep. She can pay on your behalf if she's so bothered.

Are you being serious? £5 could buy food to feed her family. If you're struggling, £5 can make a HUGE difference. I can't believe some people are still so clueless to other people's situations.

If your manager asks you again, that is bullying and harassment.

Grievance.

Tell your manager and then DO IT.

Awful pressure agree. I do school bus. Driver ask would I sort kids for xmas. Ten kids. Where does it end.. my friend does ten pounds in classroom thats flowers and cake but there could be 5 staff birthdays.

Well done for speaking up
£5 is a lot and you're there to earn it, not give it away

I stopped giving to collections a while ago as it was getting ridiculous -colleagues were starting collections for people moving to different departments in the same building!

I didn’t even get a sodding card when my dad died so that made my mind up for me!

She's got a point (but not the one she thinks she's making).

If you have got to the point where a fiver is so vital to you, you should be asking for a payrise or looking for a new job that pays more.

Everywhere I worked had the convention that the person whose birthday it was brought in a cake to share with colleagues, the colleagues handed over a (shared between them) card in exchange.

I worked out very fairly, the expense for the birthday person was a once-a-year thing.

I hate work collections they seem to collect for everything and everyone in my job I wish they would just stop it altogether , don't give the £5 and next time they won't ask you so worth it in the long run

You just said ‘if you don’t have the money, you don’t have the money’ so how is it stingy?

It’s a WORKplace. I don’t contribute £1 to collections because I genuinely do not give a fuck. I don’t want anything from anyone and I don’t want to contribute anything to anyone. I’m not friends with my colleagues, I’m friendly, there’s a difference.

In the OPs case, they shouldn’t be berated or told, ‘it’s just a fiver’ if they can’t afford it. Even if they could afford it, it’s their bloody money!!

'Up my salary and then maybe I would be able to afford to contribute'

That's an odd definition of stingy, however much money you do or do t have there's no negative connotation to choosing to opt out of workplace collections, it's a perfectly reasonable choice for anyone

YANBU. It doesn’t matter if you are tight for money just now or not. If you don’t receive and don’t want collections for you, you don’t have to contribute to them for others. Some people like them, which is great. I normally contribute happily. But they are voluntary and people shouldn’t feel pressured.

Generally a good response to “It’s just…” is “Then you do it.”

I worked somewhere where they told you to give a fiver each time there was an occasion. With 13 team members, this always translated to £50 worth of vouchers for things you didn't want to buy and a horrible bottle of prosecco with a card per person. I'm sure most of us would have much rather have kept our £60.

Yeah, I stopped putting into leaving collections except for people I knew well when I realised most people were moving on after 2-3 years, so I would be giving to several leaving collections each year. I had been in my job more than 20 years when I left.

@FeistyFrankie - it's not stingy. I've been in a position where I've had less than that left over at the end of the month. £2 could buy the last carton of milk you need before payday.

People forget or have never experienced what it's like to think of money in very small amounts.

Is this a time to set some expectations across the board at your org. She's a bit rude and ignorant to say it's just a fiver when she has no idea about anyone's situations.

It's super clear where I am. Org sends everyone a birthday card. Collections are voluntary and only for 0 birthdays or big life events like wedding/baby etc. We do a secret Santa every year - up to a fiver only and from a charity shop.

Your manager sounds like a dick. They should have respected your decision and left it at that.

Please don’t feel embarrassed. I think most people put into work collections because they feel like they have to, not because they want to. I hate how it’s such a ‘done thing’ in office culture.