It's just a fiver

Well done for saying 'no'. I made the mistake of getting involved in birthdays, weddings, retirements and Christmas presents at my last company. I tried to contribute a fiver and was told that everyone else had put in £10 or £20 and I was pressured to add more. Thank goodness I don't work there anymore!! 😬

Over the last 12 months we have had about 8 leavers/junior staff moving to another department/ maternity leaves. It's too much.
I've quietly opted out of contributions unless I've known them and actually spoken to them ever.

It may have changed because a lot has there, but John Lewis didn't allow staff collecting for any reason. Saves awkwardness all round.

Don't think anything of it. People don't have a clue what's going on in others lives financially.

IME this is a tactic of bad managers, in crap companies, trying to stop people from resigning, as they're waiting for their birthday, so they can "get out what they put in" with regards to birthday money. OR, they're trying to boost moral in a way that doesn't cost the company anything.

A few years ago when I worked at LV Insurance, they gave everyone a piece of fruit every day as a perk (such that it was). They then took the 30p fruit away as a cost saving measure, but suggested instead we took it in turns to spend our weekends baking a cake, so it could be raffled off! As if! To this day, it remains the tightest thing I've ever experienced first hand.

How ironic that you accuse OP of being stingy when you yourself would put in £2 instead of £5

I think you’ve made your position clear. Your manager might hopefully think twice about being so prescriptive about this kind of thing in the future.

If she asks again, just repeat the same as you did before you don't give to collections because you cannot afford to. If she says again it is just a fiver tell her you have already told her once before and now she is embarrassing you. If she continues take it to HR.

Some people really should not be managers.

It’s not stingy.
lots of people are struggling right now. You have no idea about the OP/ situation

I have done collection now for years at work and it is a minefield. There are those that intend to give, but just need to be reminded. Those that give straight away and those that I know can't afford it. And then there are those who are selective about who they will and won't put money in for.

Raising collections is supposed to be a friendly gesture and no-one should be put in an awkward position by it - that should never be the outcome.

I send an envelope round with everyones names on it, asking them if they want to pop any money into the collection and once they have seen the collection and ticked their name off and moved it onto the next person, it eventually comes back to me. I never know who has or hasn't put in, only who has ticked to say they have seen it. Some don't tick and say "no money today, come back tomorrow" and others tick and put nothing in. Its the only way to avoid difficult conversations for all.

The reality is though, that everyone is different and you just have to accept it and not be pushy. If you simply cannot afford it then that should be fine, keeping the roof over your head and feeding everyone comes first.

I always ask everyone to sign the card whether they have contributed or not. Its not about the money, its the thought, and thoughtful, well intended wishes are enough, a gift is just the icing on the cake.

After been on a team where I decided not to pay in, and I was shunned out publicly i.e. not even able to sign a card and spoken about loudly around the desks, I don't take part anymore. Fortunately I'm on a better team now.

I just mention I'm a Jehovahs Witness [I'm not] - they never ask again.

In our office we bring in treats on our own birthdays to go on the table in the kitchen area. There are collections for significant things (milestone birthdays, weddings, new baby, a serious sick leave etc) but we all just shove £1 each in (there are lots of us in our team, so it mounts up to a lovely gift). There's an envelope in one of the admins' desk drawers, and email goes round announcing it, people contribute if they can/want to. There's no pressure or obligation to join in with any of it.

This works well for our department, which is actually several smaller teams. Could you suggest something similar? You might not be the only one feeling the pressure of the demands. Of course you are under no obligation to do so, it was just an idea, I appreciate that even that cost is too much for some.

My husband gave loads of fivers and tenners over 20 years,yet when he retired he received nothing as he was off ill,stay out of collections.

It's really off for it be a set amount.

Nope

We've had 2 in a month, minimum £10 expected, both times for ppl on v.good salaries. Bit of a cheek.

I don't agree with work collections either and I bloody hate anything like Secret Santa. Years ago I started a new job after a period of unemployment following the financial crash. I was absolutely skint and was prioritising food for my son rather than me and walking to work rather than the bus. I started over Christmas and the office manager was "encouraging" everyone to spend £5 on a Secret Santa. I didn't have £5 and I didn't want anyone else to buy me some landfill. I was the only one that didn't (couldn't) join in and as a newbie it definitely did reflect on me.

I would ban workplace collections, I could afford them but what if you don’t like the person that much. Also charity collections, I remember irritating a colleague when I said no and already have specific charities I give to.

Not at all stingy, I worked in a school with about 90 staff in different roles, if we were to be asked for 'just a fiver' that would be £450 for some people I wouldn't have known by name! It should be a matter of personal choice, surely a card isn't necessary for a normal birthday, maybe a big number only.

As is often the case first post nails it

I don't think you're being unreasonable, money is tight for a lot of people. And in any case I think It's better to let people decide for themselves how much they want to contribute - if they choose to

One of my work colleagues let slip she was using the foodbank due to some overwhelming challenges. It's not stingy to decline to put in money. You never know what any individual's circumstances are.

I would of come back with “you can put it in for me then, thanks” bloody cheek people make me sick sometimes

I agree with this. Also if a person is leaving and a person can't afford to contribute they should still be allowed to sign the card.

You should check out the concept of ‘poverty proofing’ and send some of the recommendations to your workplace / HR team. They do training for companies to ensure this exact situation doesn’t occur.