It's just a fiver

This - totally. Should be a genuine contribution without anyone counting or making judgements. I have colleagues who are single parents, caring for partners etc & financially strapped - even £2 is a lot of money for them. I'm lucky that I'm in a good financial position, but that's not always been the case for me.

One of my workplaces operated a system where everyone gave annually and the amount each individual was expected to pay took into account hours worked and pay grade! The thinking behind it was that everyone was included and it meant everyone received a similar amount …

I think sometimes the expectation that people contribute to collections gets a bit much and can quickly escalate into collections for lots of things - birthdays, babies, leaving, weddings, bereavements etc. It’s not just a fiver! Collections should be voluntary and no one should be singled out or made to feel embarrassed for not contributing. Sometimes there can be a collection for something every few weeks! I very rarely contribute to collections now. I would rather spend my money on my family.

It should be "give what you want" with no judgement if someone can't give anything.

Yanbu and your manager was rude to insist you contribute and very rude to specify an amount. They sound completely tactless.

Totally agree with you. I recently 'hosted' a collection for my (much loved & respected) manager who has breast cancer also for her 50th birthday. Some people gave £50 others 'only' gave £2. Everyone gave what they could afford. No criticisms as everyone gave what they could afford x

If it’s just a fiver then I guess she won’t mind contributing an extra one on your behalf.

YANBU. I went mad when I found out about a collection for my last big birthday and instructed my manager to return the funds.

No one wanted it back though, so I asked for it to be donated to two charities. We’d had a team member pass away from one type of cancer and another who was having treatment for the other. It went to the applicable charities for those cancers.

It’s really out of order for them to stipulate an amount. It should be completely optional as to amount and whether or not to donate.

At a previous employment, I was a bank employee, so I worked when someone was on holiday / off sick etc., though I often worked 2-3 shifts a week. Being in so regularly meant that I very rarely missed being asked to contribute to every collection (big birthday / baby / bereavement / leaving etc.) that there was and if I did miss one, one of the staff would usually tell me the next time I worked that I owed them (normally £2 - £5) as they had put in for me.

I eventually turned round and said that I was sorry but I couldn’t afford to put in for the collections. The response I got was pretty negative (it’s just a couple of quid / don’t be so mean etc. and you’ll get when you’re due). I pointed out that I didn’t get when I was due, as I had put in for 3 family bereavements, 2 big birthdays and 1 baby over the previous 2 months alone, but in that period I had lost my dm and had my 40th birthday, both of which were ignored. In fact I had been asked for £3 for flowers, for one of my colleague’s losing their df, on my first shift back after my own dm had died (which had been ignored)!

A couple of my colleagues apologised to me, but I heard others mumbling negatively about me. I went to HR as I felt this constituted bullying, which only made things worse. I managed to increase my hours at another job, so I actually ended up leaving….didn’t get a leaving gift though!

Do you mean as in, they decided to move home, so you give them money?

So annoying. We are having 2 separate "welcome to your new home" collections for 2 staff members. I mean really!

We stopped these forced collections years ago. I'm there were enough of us that it would be costing over a hundred a year in my team. In my precious work place our managers did exactly what yours did, but we were all secretly peeved with it.
One guy "Nigel" was asked to give money, got a 20 quid out,put it in the envelope and pulled out 5x 1 quid and 3 fivers. Said 'thanks I needed the change'. The manager then said but you've not put any money in. His response was 'no I didn't did I. Must be because 'Dave' is a dickhead, he's caused me to stay late and fix his problems so why would I give him anything?' . Manager didn't know how to deal.
When i was asked to submit to the envolope of doom, i would say no thanks. If I wanted to give a gift to someone, then I did if privately. It's my money. Everyone slowly followed suit.

What's cheek a collection is just that! Collect what u can not what u want. I would be same as you, and who does she think she is dictating the amount? Is she gonna do this for everyone? If so then she should set u a slush fund for things like that where everyone gets the same thing all the time for all occasions

1 card signed by everyone is all that is needed.

How many people work there OP?
If its 20 - that's £100 for a present!!! and a fiver expected from you every couple of weeks!

A card from work is fine. It's not a child FFS

well done for firstly saying no, it isn’t just a fiver though, it will be multiple fivers ongoing. 💐

Yanbu. A card is nice for a colleague but no presents.
We only do a voluntary collection for big birthdays, babies and leaving.

Not that you should have done that, showed your account, but I would have, just to make it absolutely blindingly clear it was true and shut them up.

I always opt out. In fact, in my last workplace you had to actively opt in.

I’m always happier to write on a card (which has always been supplied by management wherever I’ve worked) and simply say ‘have a great birthday/retirement/birth/whatever’.

And I’m really really happy to receive nothing. Honestly, if I want it for myself I just go and buy it for myself.

At the moment, a fiver would be impossible for me. I'm at the absolute limit of everything until my new wages kick in at the start of Nov.

I'd show them my online bank account and say, I really genuinely can't afford it, sorry.

Just shrug your shoulders and say “Like I said, I’m opting out.”

We "only" do big birthdays, weddings, babies, leaving. I've contributed to more of those than I care to think of in my 14 years with the company! I used to put £1 in an envelope when it came round but now we're hybrid, it's all online banking - I do £2 but only for people I like and want to contribute to. I organised the leaving gift for a really popular staff member and was shocked at how few people contributed so that's when I 'downsized' my giving.

You are not being unreasonable at all. Dont do it simple, sod the manager she wouldn't do it if she was in your shoes.

It's not just 5 because it adds up when it's multiple times a year. We do big events at my work. I'll contribute for people I chat to a lot or just if I feel generous.

Absolutely loathe all these work things that are an excuse to bleed you dry. Leaving collections fine, but birthdays?! Seriously? If I'm gift-level friends with any of my colleagues I'll get them a gift outside of a weird whip-round situation, but most of them I don't know well enough and they don't know me well enough. We all have enough friends and enough of a social life not to have to manufacture one in our job as well.