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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for my child to be put in a different taxi

187 replies

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:09

My 11 year old ds goes to a sen school, mainly the needs of the children are semh -he had autism and adhd.
he loves school. Feels safe, everything there is good.
however, my son has been out in a taxi with 3 other children from the same school who are older than him (they are year 9) and this past week he has been threatened with being strangled, put in a headlock, had his phone taken and they kept calling me telling me "I'm f**king your son" "we're beating you're son up"
and today came home with a pumpkin he'd carved at school smashed up and the other child had thrown it at him, put his phone inside it, put pumpkin bits all in his hair and over his clothes.

No way is he getting in that taxi tomorrow, and I have emailed the council transport team and tried to contact the school but waiting on a call back.

AIBU do insist that this transport isn't appropriate or safe and they he's given alternative transport ? I know the la are going to be hard to convince because it will cost
more money, but he can hardly be expected to be subjected to this every day

OP posts:
MrSeptember · 24/10/2024 20:47

As I understand it, taxi drivers for this purpose need to have specific additional training, DBS checks etc so why isn't the taxi driver stepping up? The camera is a good first step. But it might be that you need a new driver.

CrispieCake · 24/10/2024 20:39

BrendaSmall · 24/10/2024 20:15

All depends if you want to keep your child safe or not!!
regardless of costs!!!

Back in the real world...🙄.

Lorrymum · 24/10/2024 20:34

Safeguarding and duty of care issue.
Contact the LEA responsible for school transport.
If you unsure who to contact, ask school for direct contact details of school transport dept.

notatinydancer · 24/10/2024 20:21

MumblesParty · 24/10/2024 17:37

I’d be reporting this to the police. How have they got your phone number? This is harassment of you as well as assault of your son.

Edited

They had her son's phone.

BluebellsareBlue · 24/10/2024 20:20

@BrendaSmall oh do pipe down! What a stupid thing to say! What's the OP going to do? Magic the money? Decide that they can all go without meals?

You're incredibly naive posts are not helpful and patronising.

notatinydancer · 24/10/2024 20:19

My child went in a minibus always had an escort.
They need a bigger vehicle with a chaperone.
Unacceptable.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 24/10/2024 20:18

In the country I’m in there must be an escort. Your DC has been attacked, seriously threatened, his property destroyed and bullied. The phone calls would be reported to Police and obviously report to school, local authorities head of ASN and safeguarding.

Odearr · 24/10/2024 20:17

BrendaSmall · 24/10/2024 20:15

All depends if you want to keep your child safe or not!!
regardless of costs!!!

It would be about £60 a day! I don't have a spare £300 a week

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 24/10/2024 20:16

BrendaSmall · 24/10/2024 20:15

All depends if you want to keep your child safe or not!!
regardless of costs!!!

Don’t be ridiculous , if the OP can’t afford it she can’t afford it , not everybody has money spare .

BrendaSmall · 24/10/2024 20:15

Odearr · 24/10/2024 20:12

i can't afford to that would be very expensive and also not exactly safe he's only 11 and has additional needs...I can't just send him off in a random taxi by himself

All depends if you want to keep your child safe or not!!
regardless of costs!!!

CrispieCake · 24/10/2024 20:13

Report the theft and physical and sexual assault to the police. Your son is a victim of crime and should not be expected to continue to share spaces with the perpetrators. Tell the school that they need to remove these children (not your son) from his taxi, or you'll report them for breaching their safeguarding obligations.

Odearr · 24/10/2024 20:12

BrendaSmall · 24/10/2024 20:08

Pay for a taxi yourself, to ensure your child’s safety,

i can't afford to that would be very expensive and also not exactly safe he's only 11 and has additional needs...I can't just send him off in a random taxi by himself

OP posts:
SuperfluousHen · 24/10/2024 20:11

I would report this assault to the police.

Floralnomad · 24/10/2024 20:10

It would be interesting to get the taxi drivers perspective as if he was to say it’s an unsafe situation they might get you another taxi , or he could possibly refuse to drive the bully children and let their parents deal with getting them into school .

SometimesCalmPerson · 24/10/2024 20:08

Definitely talk to the school. IME the taxi companies listen to them slightly more than than parents.

The taxi driver is allowed to refuse to take children that he feels make the journey unsafe, so it might be worth getting him inside too so that he can complain straight to his employer.

BrendaSmall · 24/10/2024 20:08

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:19

I can't do the school run myself as the school isn't close and I dont drive and have another ds who starts school the same time, otherwise I would. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in the meantime because I can't leave him in that taxi without things being sorted, he will probably just have to stay home tomorrow

Pay for a taxi yourself, to ensure your child’s safety,

DeborahVance · 24/10/2024 20:05

This is horrendous. I would definitely contact SENTAS and ask for their advice. I'm not sure about the camera in the taxi as a solution, there will be other events before they take action and it's not at all acceptable for your son. It's also pretty dangerous for a driver to have that level of disruption. Have you spoken to the taxi company? The one that transported my DC were pretty good, they would have made a stink about this too. At one point my DC was in a shared taxi that wasn't at all suitable and the taxi company made this clear to the LA

AnnaCBi · 24/10/2024 19:58

This is a safeguarding issue. It’s called peer on peer abuse. Speak to the DSL straight away, if they aren’t alarmed then speak to the head. Next stop is the LADO at the council. ASAP.

Lemonadeand · 24/10/2024 19:51

No33 · 24/10/2024 17:02

No chaperone is a safeguarding issue. For pupils and the driver.

This whole set up is unacceptable.

Contact school, lea transport and at least threaten police.

I hope he's okay.

Yes that’s a good shout- report to safeguarding lead at the school as well, explicitly saying this is a safeguarding complaint. Escalate to safeguarding governor if necessary.

YellowAsteroid · 24/10/2024 19:40

Can you approach it the two bullies are the ones who must stay home or find alternative transport? Not your son?

They are the ones assaulting him so they should be excluded from the transport, not your son.

PensionPuzzle · 24/10/2024 19:35

What is the school's policy on behaviour in transport, if you report to school they should enact that. It may be possible for the school and taxi company to rejig routes to swap combinations of students or to investigate putting one or more of them into a guided route on the basis of risk assessment- it's not safe for the driver to have to manage such behaviour on the road so a guided route can be used to help with this if the council and school have policies that allow for it.

But mainly the issue is how the behaviour of the others is dealt with and the risk management going forward so that your child can continue to access their provision safely.

MumonabikeE5 · 24/10/2024 19:31

7 seater vehicle would have space for chaperone. VW sharan for example

purplebeansprouts · 24/10/2024 19:28

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:17

They wouldn't be able to have a chaperone as there is already 4 children in the taxi there's no space
i know another boy will only sit in the front of the taxi because he doesn't want to be near the other two as well

Get the other parent on board with your complaint they may agree to another taxi for two people. Consider calling the police

Odearr · 24/10/2024 19:25

Definitely going to talk to the school about it still, usually the school are good on dealing with behaviour issues so I'm hoping they will be able to help, it does seem insane to me that there's so many kids in one taxi unsupervised when at the school these 4 children would never be put together with inky 1 adult (who can't deal with anything anyway because he is driving)

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 24/10/2024 19:21

That’s a reasonable response but I wouldn’t let the current episode just drop - report to the school , it is not acceptable .

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