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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for my child to be put in a different taxi

187 replies

Odearr · 24/10/2024 16:09

My 11 year old ds goes to a sen school, mainly the needs of the children are semh -he had autism and adhd.
he loves school. Feels safe, everything there is good.
however, my son has been out in a taxi with 3 other children from the same school who are older than him (they are year 9) and this past week he has been threatened with being strangled, put in a headlock, had his phone taken and they kept calling me telling me "I'm f**king your son" "we're beating you're son up"
and today came home with a pumpkin he'd carved at school smashed up and the other child had thrown it at him, put his phone inside it, put pumpkin bits all in his hair and over his clothes.

No way is he getting in that taxi tomorrow, and I have emailed the council transport team and tried to contact the school but waiting on a call back.

AIBU do insist that this transport isn't appropriate or safe and they he's given alternative transport ? I know the la are going to be hard to convince because it will cost
more money, but he can hardly be expected to be subjected to this every day

OP posts:
Potentialmadcatlady · 25/10/2024 11:59

BrendaSmall · 25/10/2024 11:46

The OP’s transport problem could be temporary whilst they sort out other transport, so it definitely wouldn’t be that much!
where I grew up our parents had to pay for all the children to get to school so paying for transport isn’t really a new thing!!

You really aren’t listening are you. I have two children- one I drove to school everyday of her school career. The other needed specialist provision which meant going out of county and was over an hour away. You don’t get a choice.

bagginsatbagend · 25/10/2024 11:50

BrendaSmall · 25/10/2024 11:46

The OP’s transport problem could be temporary whilst they sort out other transport, so it definitely wouldn’t be that much!
where I grew up our parents had to pay for all the children to get to school so paying for transport isn’t really a new thing!!

We don’t get a choice at which SEN schools our kids go to nor are they usually anywhere near where we live hence getting transport. My son’s school is almost an hours drive away from our house, in a taxi that would cost £110 each day, do you have £550 a week to get your child to school? Even temporary? As a carer of a child with disabilities (and someone with disabilities myself) I haven’t got that sort of money. I don’t even have the £2383 a month it would cost to send him to school, I have less than that to pay all my bills & mortgage. It’s easy to say just pay it when you don’t actually have to live it

EndlessLight · 25/10/2024 11:49

BrendaSmall · 25/10/2024 11:46

The OP’s transport problem could be temporary whilst they sort out other transport, so it definitely wouldn’t be that much!
where I grew up our parents had to pay for all the children to get to school so paying for transport isn’t really a new thing!!

Even if it is temporary whilst alternative arrangements are made by the LA, it could easily be £1200. LA transport departments don’t work quickly. And when there are difficulties, it isn’t unusual for parents to need a pre-action letter to sort suitable arrangements. It could very well take more than a month to arrange more suitable transport.

BrendaSmall · 25/10/2024 11:46

Potentialmadcatlady · 25/10/2024 08:54

Then lucky you! Tell me exactly where the money is supposed to magically appear from??
My DS taxis cost between £60-£70 a day ( depending on traffic). Thankfully DSA pays 2/3 of it.
Some of us are full time carers for our disabled kids and are lucky if we have £23 left in our accounts at end of month.
Where do think we should get the £1200 a month from?

The OP’s transport problem could be temporary whilst they sort out other transport, so it definitely wouldn’t be that much!
where I grew up our parents had to pay for all the children to get to school so paying for transport isn’t really a new thing!!

bagginsatbagend · 25/10/2024 11:46

Caterina99 · 25/10/2024 11:24

That’s awful Op, your poor son. I hope something gets sorted soon.

My DC get the school bus to primary school. There is no adult other than the driver. The school are very hot on bad behavior on the bus and will phone the parents if any is reported. I’ve had to have very strong words with my DS (who is 8) about his silly behavior on the bus. Last year the kids had to sit in specific seats to keep some of them separated. The school also sent out a letter to all parents saying that any bad behavior on the bus would mean no more bus for your child, and I know that one child is not allowed to use the school bus anymore. This is a mainstream primary school.

I’d expect a special school to be very aware of the kids behavioral issues and provide suitable transport. Clearly those specific 4 kids in a 5 seater taxi is not suitable. Seems like the other kid’s parents have already complained, seeing as he now sits in the front.

It’s not the school that provides the transport it’s the local council/LA. The schools don’t have any dealings with which kids are on which route or who is in what taxi, they don’t even choose which company they use. All that is dealt between the LA & the taxi company. The school could possibly get involved with supporting the parent with the dispute with the LA/taxi company but they can’t do anything about providing suitable transport

Nousernameforme · 25/10/2024 11:44

Overtheatlantic · 25/10/2024 11:11

Heaven forbid you need a taxi for business reasons or transport to the train station. We have to schedule around school hours.

How can I make this thread about me. 🙄

bagginsatbagend · 25/10/2024 11:43

My son is 12 & goes to a SEN high school & still has a chaperone or what our LA calls an escort. They have a larger taxi to include an escort as children aren’t even allowed to sit in the front, the escort has to sit in the back with them too. I wouldn’t be happy whatsoever about this not just because of the issues with the children but this behaviour could cause an accident, it’s dangerous. I’d push even further & find out of others at the school have taxi chaperones & if so why not yours

Narwhalsh · 25/10/2024 11:37

x2boys · 25/10/2024 10:01

The issue.e with SEN transport is that problematic behaviour very common due to needs of the children
My son has very different needs to the Op,s but if they refused to take children with poor behaviour, there wouldn't be anyone on the bus.

Kids still need to be safeguarded on the journey. If the driver cannot do this (because driving) then the situation can’t be allowed to continue. I can’t imagine the adult driver can/should ignore a child being bullied in the back seat.

Caterina99 · 25/10/2024 11:24

That’s awful Op, your poor son. I hope something gets sorted soon.

My DC get the school bus to primary school. There is no adult other than the driver. The school are very hot on bad behavior on the bus and will phone the parents if any is reported. I’ve had to have very strong words with my DS (who is 8) about his silly behavior on the bus. Last year the kids had to sit in specific seats to keep some of them separated. The school also sent out a letter to all parents saying that any bad behavior on the bus would mean no more bus for your child, and I know that one child is not allowed to use the school bus anymore. This is a mainstream primary school.

I’d expect a special school to be very aware of the kids behavioral issues and provide suitable transport. Clearly those specific 4 kids in a 5 seater taxi is not suitable. Seems like the other kid’s parents have already complained, seeing as he now sits in the front.

Overtheatlantic · 25/10/2024 11:11

Heaven forbid you need a taxi for business reasons or transport to the train station. We have to schedule around school hours.

EndlessLight · 25/10/2024 11:09

JaneEyreLaughing · 25/10/2024 11:05

No and nor does the local authority.
Taxis to school is the biggest issue putting a hole in the budgets of local authorities.

That isn’t the OP’s concern. The LA has a duty to provide non-stressful transport.

EndlessLight · 25/10/2024 11:08

Even if OP could afford £1200 per month, she may not get a taxi at school run times. In some areas, you wouldn’t be able to because taxis are all being used for school transport.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/10/2024 11:06

Lots of good advice above. Certainly, report to police. Did you record the calls? I would also be informing the parents of the other pupils exactly what their children did.

JaneEyreLaughing · 25/10/2024 11:05

Odearr · 24/10/2024 20:17

It would be about £60 a day! I don't have a spare £300 a week

No and nor does the local authority.
Taxis to school is the biggest issue putting a hole in the budgets of local authorities.

Nousernameforme · 25/10/2024 11:03

Please phone the police your son has been assaulted and threatened, sen or not under school supervision or not is irrelevant to the fact that the assault and threats have happened and he needs to be kept safe.
I would keep him off school until this situation is resolved and he no longer needs to travel with them. Your boy has autism he is at risk of this having a long term impact on his mental health. (Anyone would be but it's more likely with autism thrown in)
Absolutely refuse to engage with any solution that doesn't mean your child will be kept apart from these children.
With the LEA and the school it is the squeaky wheel so you will have to keep on.
I would send a daily email (must be in writing as they will deny anything said in a conversation) to the school, the lea and the attendance officer stating your child cannot attend today at school because the lea are incapable of keeping him safe during transportation. It has been ...no. of days of absence now and you are looking forward to them finding a solution so your son can return to education. If after 2 weeks you have no joy contact your mp and the minister of education include a copy of the police incident report

Happyher · 25/10/2024 10:42

It’s a safeguarding issue. The LEA as well as the school should get involved. I would keep my child at home unless I could arrange something else for a few days till they sort something. You child is being bullied

FranticFrankie · 25/10/2024 10:30

Agree that it’s dangerous- these bullies could cause an accident by behaving like this! Perhaps the taxi driver is afraid to report it? Maybe he thinks he might lose his job if he reports it, thinking he might be told
’these kids have additional needs, be understanding’ etc
Your poor son- report to the school- please.

And to the people talking about taxpayers money: in many LAs (like mine) the transport isn’t free, it’s subsidised. I’d rather my child was able to access mainstream education and not have all the carp that goes with having additional needs- I think a lot of parents probably feel the same

Pelegrinfalcon · 25/10/2024 10:26

x2boys · 25/10/2024 10:08

Wether the.police can do anything is debatable, its an SEN school ,so the pupils will have varying needs and varying levels of capacity.

The sort of language would worry me a lot. Surely the kids must have learned it from somewhere. At the least, I would expect social services to get involved to ensure nothing is amiss at home. Abuse happens.

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 25/10/2024 10:23

Odearr · 24/10/2024 20:12

i can't afford to that would be very expensive and also not exactly safe he's only 11 and has additional needs...I can't just send him off in a random taxi by himself

Don't worry OP. Brenda is undoubtedly setting up the direct debit, at this very moment , to cover the cost of a separate taxi plus chaperone .

Westofeasttoday · 25/10/2024 10:20

I agree this is totally out of order and those kids need some serious intervention. If your child is in senior school then it’s not unreasonable he is travelling with other senior school kids. It’s also not unreasonable he travels in a full taxi to save costs. It isn’t unreasonable to have an taxi driver only adult in the car with four children at senior school, in fact a good friend of mine had a daughter at junior school who travels in a taxi, so his age while important to you isn’t the issue. What is unreasonable is the horrific behaviour of these other children. Focus on that, your child safety and fear of travelling. To be fair I think they reacted quite quickly so good luck after half term.

x2boys · 25/10/2024 10:14

TwigletsAndRadishes · 25/10/2024 10:06

In a car with only four passengers I doubt a chaperone is justified. The driver is the chaperone. If it's a regular five seater car, then a place taken by a chaperone is a place not taken by a child. It's another wage to pay, plus another taxi place elsewhere, so the cost is prohibitive and unjustified.

If certain children are unable to behave to the point where they are endangering other children on the trip to school then they should have their free transport withdrawn and it should be the parents' responsibility to get them to and from school, if they want their child to keep that school place.

There has to be a limit to what the tax payer can be expected to be responsible for here. Not every single problem with every single difficult child can be solved by throwing more tax payer money at it, nor should it be.

In my LEA the driver is just often just a taxi driver whose taxi firm has wonn the contract ,they often have little to no understanding of the needs of the children
What should it bee the parents responsibility?
This is an SEN school the kids are there for a reason the LEA is responsible for finding a school that l suits the child's needs and ensuring they can access their education..

x2boys · 25/10/2024 10:08

Wether the.police can do anything is debatable, its an SEN school ,so the pupils will have varying needs and varying levels of capacity.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 25/10/2024 10:06

In a car with only four passengers I doubt a chaperone is justified. The driver is the chaperone. If it's a regular five seater car, then a place taken by a chaperone is a place not taken by a child. It's another wage to pay, plus another taxi place elsewhere, so the cost is prohibitive and unjustified.

If certain children are unable to behave to the point where they are endangering other children on the trip to school then they should have their free transport withdrawn and it should be the parents' responsibility to get them to and from school, if they want their child to keep that school place.

There has to be a limit to what the tax payer can be expected to be responsible for here. Not every single problem with every single difficult child can be solved by throwing more tax payer money at it, nor should it be.

Fiestytiger · 25/10/2024 10:03

Yep it may sound extreme but my friend is a police officer and when a previous school were not helping with bullying she said I should have reported it to the police. I would speak to school first. Can you contact the taxi company directly and ask about a separate taxi. The two children bullying him need reprimanding.

x2boys · 25/10/2024 10:01

Narwhalsh · 25/10/2024 09:19

School transport with us (not SEN) is a ban for any poor behaviour. Understandably the driver can’t intervene because they are driving but they can certainly report the behaviour-has the driver also been consulted? Hugely dangerous having disruptive kids in the back of a car

The issue.e with SEN transport is that problematic behaviour very common due to needs of the children
My son has very different needs to the Op,s but if they refused to take children with poor behaviour, there wouldn't be anyone on the bus.

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