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AIBU?

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Original poster

This is weird behaviour, right?

33 replies

ChillWith · 24/10/2024 11:59

On holiday and my partner wakes me and DC up to get up and go for breakfast. He rushes us to get ready and then leaves the table before we are finished. There is nothing to do where we are so he sits on the sun lounger with noise cancelling headphones and/or falls asleep. He doesn't have a stressful job, he has nothing to say and quite frankly I don't know what I am doing with him. Guess I've answered my own question there!

OP posts:
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mumzof4x · 25/10/2024 11:25

Is this your first holiday together?
How old are the dc ?

Carnationstreet7 · 24/10/2024 15:15

Is he worried about missing breakfast/ set time( paid for)

Catza · 24/10/2024 15:13

Shiningout · 24/10/2024 14:12

But this is surely very different to when it's a couple with shared children??? ? You can't just go off and please yourself, and he's not even doing that, he's waking them all up early and then fucking off before they can finish eating!

Show quote history

What I am saying is that he should just wake up when it suits him and do whatever he wants to do (preferably with children if they are up) so that OP can sleep in. I don't think it is entirely necessary that they spend all the time together and one of them has to compromise all the time.
My partner and I also go away with kids, although they are teenagers and have a schedule of their own and we are happy to let them wonder off or sleep in at will.

TeaInMug · 24/10/2024 15:01

Do you have to get to breakfast for a certain time before they stop serving?

Have you spoken to him and suggested you miss breakfast and all grab something later?

Is he actually leaving you all still at breakfast and then heading off on his own? why does he say he does that?

Tel12 · 24/10/2024 14:57

Sounds like you're being too nice. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he's not to wake anyone in the morning. He can go to breakfast at 5 am as long as he's quiet. If he wakes you, you let him have it. It's really unfair.

memyselfi · 24/10/2024 14:52

Yes weird .
What on earth is he thinking?
Did he want to holiday alone ?
That's pretty much what he's engineered for himself.

Shiningout · 24/10/2024 14:12

Catza · 24/10/2024 12:48

I just came back from a holiday with girls. We each got up when we wanted, joined each other for breakfast and wondered off at various points regardless if someone's already finished. I don't think any one of us thought each other rude. We don't all need to keep the same schedule.
My partner sleeps in on holidays, I try not to disrupt my normal routine too much and prefer to be up and out relatively early or, at least, awake and reading a book while he sleeps. I also don't get on very well with people who take ages to get ready for something and more often than not I will walk off and meet them later elsewhere. I think it is quite normal and generally works well for everyone I have ever been on holidays with.
A separate issue is the fact that you don't seem to have much to talk about. But, presumably, this has nothing to do with a holiday.

But this is surely very different to when it's a couple with shared children??? ? You can't just go off and please yourself, and he's not even doing that, he's waking them all up early and then fucking off before they can finish eating!

BitOutOfPractice · 24/10/2024 13:09

So what parenting is he doing this week? I’ll take a wild guess….

Figsonit · 24/10/2024 13:05

Is it a free breakfast you have to eat before a certain time to get your 'value' in his mind?

Stormyweatheroutthere · 24/10/2024 13:03

Why I asked if he sloped off was could he be pining for someone not there and is treating with contempt in retaliation..? A dc or ow perhaps?

MSLRT · 24/10/2024 12:54

If things aren’t good on holiday then it is never going to be right back home with all the day to day stresses. Time to reevaluate things.

Riapia · 24/10/2024 12:53

He is enjoying his holiday.

That is all that matters.

To him.

Whether or not you enjoy your holiday does not matter.

To him.

Normallynumb · 24/10/2024 12:49

Oh dear It doesn't sound like a fun filled holiday.
Is your relationship strained at home or just his holiday mode?

Catza · 24/10/2024 12:48

I just came back from a holiday with girls. We each got up when we wanted, joined each other for breakfast and wondered off at various points regardless if someone's already finished. I don't think any one of us thought each other rude. We don't all need to keep the same schedule.
My partner sleeps in on holidays, I try not to disrupt my normal routine too much and prefer to be up and out relatively early or, at least, awake and reading a book while he sleeps. I also don't get on very well with people who take ages to get ready for something and more often than not I will walk off and meet them later elsewhere. I think it is quite normal and generally works well for everyone I have ever been on holidays with.
A separate issue is the fact that you don't seem to have much to talk about. But, presumably, this has nothing to do with a holiday.

Funkyslippers · 24/10/2024 12:41

Well he's done that by himself

GoldCat255 · 24/10/2024 12:39

YABU for not dumping him at once.

AndyMcFlurry · 24/10/2024 12:38

why can’t he get the kids up and take them to breakfast while you have a lie in ?

If there’s nothing to do, why can’t he okay with the kids after breakfast ? I assume he’s their father .

Who looks after the kids while he sleeps all day?

Original poster
ChillWith · 24/10/2024 12:35

Flag it every day as unreasonable. It just gets boring arguing first thing every day. Hate it setting the tone for the rest of the day.

OP posts:
TheGirlFromTheSummerBefore · 24/10/2024 12:32

The words off and fuck are available OP :)

Not necessarily in that order.

Is he controlling or can't switch off from work or something else? What gives?

Snoken · 24/10/2024 12:24

You have put up with this for 7 days without saying anything? Why? It's your holiday too, you don't all have to obey your partner.

Original poster
ChillWith · 24/10/2024 12:22

This has been how it is for seven days so far. There is no race for sunloungers here. He doesn't get the whole no need to wake early on hols thing not heading off to do your own thing if you're hungry (he doesn't eat breakfast at home). Thanks all. You've helped enormously already!

OP posts:
GiraffeTree · 24/10/2024 12:20

What happens if you ask him to let you lie in?

TossedSaladandSE · 24/10/2024 12:19

Basically you e realised he's a boring yes ?

Stormyweatheroutthere · 24/10/2024 12:18

Is there any times he is going off alone?

TossedSaladandSE · 24/10/2024 12:18

Holidays are often a catalyst to realising you're in a relationship that's not working