For thinking school are making too much of this?

My thoughts chime with @cantkeepawayforever i wonder if they are starting the process of managing him out, as private schools sometimes do. I hope it’s not that!

But doesn't the problem here seem to be that your understanding of how a six year old typically behaves might be different from other people's? Isn't it worth asking where he is picking up the raspberry/spitting thing?

Because in my son's class we've had pushing, thumping, shouting, rude hand gestures, biting, name calling etc, but not the spitting thing. So okay, maybe that is a norm where you are, but are you sure it is?

I think that's the previous posters point - he doesn't behave this way because of hearing difficulties, he behaves that way due to frustration (that probably comes from the hearing difficulties, agreed).

It's an important distinction because the former you can't do anything about and the latter you can put strategies in place to mitigate.

The school is trying to keep you informed of what's happening and how your son is getting on. This sounds like a good thing and what many parents want (and what they pay extortionate fees for).

Actually I don't think most 6 year olds do this (blow raspberries). Is it something your family group or friendship group do? It is kind of like thumbing your nose at someone - you don't see it in real life. But if he has been taught that it is a normal social behaviour, that needs to be untaught.

The knocking over blocks thing is universal though, some kids can't resist, and it is a way to get attention.

I'm amazed the teacher has the time or inclination to be phoning home over every little bit of bad behaviour tbh. I've never known the like of it. I can understand it being mentioned at parents evening perhaps but phoning home?

That said I think you're using his hearing loss too much as a defence. His hearing loss won't be why he blew a raspberry at someone or why he knocked over their blocks. It might however be why he doesn't listen well - does the teacher ensure he is always sat at the front, closest to her when she is giving instruction? That will be really important.

Do you think this is the right school for him? How was reception? Is it just this teacher that doesn't get him so well or do you think it's a whole school issue?

The thing is, you have selected and paid fir a private school with a strict discipline policy.

Importantly, so have all the other parents of children in the class - possibly because they want their children to avoid the kind of disruptive behaviour that may be ‘normal / not out of the ordinary for the age group in unstructured situations’ but does disrupt formal or informal learning within a classroom. One of the key reasons parents choose to send their children to private schools is always said to be better behaviour.

Those parents have a reasonable expectation that the school’s discipline policy is followed, including that eg the parent of the child breaching the policy is informed.

It's hard to say whether they're making too much of this or not. It depends on the tone and how they framed the incidents when they spoke to you. If the school has a very strict behaviour policy, perhaps teachers have no choice and have a rule that parents must be contact each time a behaviour incident occurs?Framing blowing a raspberry as spitting in someone's face doesn't bode well though...if they blow other things out of proportion I'd wonder whether they're trying to paint him a certain way in order to force him out.

My DS also has hearing loss and frequently complains that the classroom is too noisy and teachers often 'forget' to adapt their approach or outright do the opposite of what has been agreed (e.g. make him sit at the back of the classroom instead of at the front, don't look at him when they speak to him, accuse him of "not listening" when he actually simply can't hear what they've said).

If all the qualified professionals agree that the problems are caused by frustration because of hearing loss, I'd be asking what they plan on doing to address this. If things don't improve, I'd consider moving to another school, if that's an option.

Do you really all think that these kinds of behaviours are not being exhibited by many other 6 year olds alL over the world?
Yes and their parents are getting phone calls too. This smacks of those pupils caught doing something who argue by saying "but miss, Joe was doing it too!" when they don't know that Joe's getting detention as well.

OK, so the issue is with your feelings, not their expectations.

You’re finding the communications stressful/upsetting. So do you need to either a) change your attitude to how it makes you feel, understanding that they’re not being negative by telling you or expecting you to solve anything or alternatively b) ask them to communicate with you in a different manner (end of week update, home-school book etc)?

Agree with this.

Whilst not excusing his behaviour (although a PP's describing a raspberry as absolutely vile or rank seems a little OTT) he must be experiencing a massive sensory overload.

Perhaps a conversation with the deaf teacher and the school SEN or teacher might help discuss how to reduce that overload, or provide space where he can go and escape the noise?

Would the teacher consider a communication book, sent to and fro from home each day? So on a good day she could write ‘all fine today, well done’ and on a day with an incident she could inform you about it? Also helpful for observing longer term trends (eg all incidents are at the end of the week / after PE / after assembly etc and for you to send in details eg if he has not slept well or been upset after school or said anything to you in the wake of an incident.

My other thought is more cynical - is it a selective school in any way other than through being fee-paying? It is not entirely impossible that they are laying the groundwork for slowly managing him out / not selecting him to progress through the school at the next checkpoint / implying his needs might be better met elsewhere. As a teacher in a school that ‘caught’ children with SEN managed out of a local private school, it is another possibility.

Blowing a raspberry at someone close enough that they get spat it is absolutely rank. The fact that you are minimising this is somewhat telling.

He may not be physically hurting the other children ,but he’s hurting their feelings by knocking over what they’ve built and “ blowing raspberries “

Ugh. I can't think of much worse than having the racket of a bunch of kids, building blocks clattering, tapping, pencils scraping and all the rustles, chair scrapes and whatnots being amplified into my brain. I can't deal with the horror that is an assembly with paper booklets, chairs and sodding clapping songs making my HA feel like it's been replaced with a screwdriver being repeatedly dug in to my eardrum, never mind all of that.

Might the school be amenable to providing a quieter free play section?

No, it seems extreme to me too. Yes the behaviour needs addressed by the teacher. No, it’s not enough to warrant a chat with you. Some replies on this post are just way ridiculous.
Not all schools are a good fit with every child. This may not be the best place for him. Or it may be a particular teacher that’s just not great so deflects everything back to you rather than being able to deal with it effectively herself. Not all teachers are equal. Some are great. Some really not. Children tend to thrive and have good behaviour when they’re engaged and feel valued. It doesn’t sound like that’s happened here. This is not all on your son. This is a whole situation to be considered. Your son’s behaviour would be poor at home as well otherwise. Kids who aren’t well behaved, you can see in all aspects of their life. In one environment only then I’d be looking at the whole situation there.

He’s also been assessed by the senco who agrees with the teacher of the deaf that these issues all stem from his hearing loss. As far as we’re away, the class teacher also thinks the same.
That EXPLAINS the behaviour but doesn't EXCUSE it. You're focusing on this raspberry but said there were lots of other examples in your OP. I think you need to stop making excuses and focus more on improving his behaviour so the other children can learn without being subjected to this unkindness or getting spit in their faces (regardless of how it happened).

I think if your son was the recipient of raspberries or having his creation knocked over the you would hope school will tell parents. The support for his hearing loss is separate, does he have an ehcp?

You could always ask the teacher to let you know if your son had a really good day at school (every so often, not every day, that would be creating too much unnecessary work for the teacher). That way you can praise him when he's behaving well.

In that case, is there any chance that they are making extra efforts to keep in touch with you because of his needs?

That kind of behaviour is really disruptive in a classroom and needs to be dealt with, but as you say it's not unusual in 6yo boys. I know a couple in my DD's class would do similar, one in particular is the child of a good friend and afaik they don't get a call every time. I wonder if the teacher is making an extra effort to keep the lines of communication open.

Either way, sounds like there's two things you need to focus on - accommodations in the classroom to help him hear better, and working with him to learn better ways to deal with his frustration.