Who is unreasonable, Mil or Ds?

OP’s words

Fifth time: did not send work for Mil to supervise or help with. Only stuff he could do by himself. Mil went and had a look and commented.

My son's handwriting is bad.

He knows.

Keep telling him doesn't alter that!

If she wasn't trying to help in some way then she has upset him for no reason.

Labeling a child as "sensitive" is a red flag to me. A grandmother who makes her GC cry by criticizing them is an awful person, imo. Your son even rang you to come pick him up
I would not let him alone with her again.

Speaking as a DGM who had to get involved in homework, it doesn't end well

Luckily it was eventually knocked on the head

Don't involve her at all with it

As well as learning a little resilience, your son needs to be allowed to be a little more independent. He’s in Year 7, not a toddler.
I dislike your references to ‘we’ in relation to his school work. You should be teaching him how to organise his workload and time, not dictating when he does what.
You are setting him up to fail by this over-involvement in his school work. Be a parent, not a nagging school teacher.

Hi op. We did role play. So we replayed situation that got dc upset.
So would get dc to be grandma and say what she said then I gave him several choices perhaps he could have used to reply to grandma and how he could have expressed himself without getting upset. Or reflected back at dc letting them think how he could have handled situation differently

I wouldn’t be asking an 11 year old to revise for something when he’s not at home. Homework yes maybe if there is no other time and he’s being minded by gran, an older teenager revising for exams yes. But a little boy I’d just be letting him chill at grans.
Is it usual for your child to seem to ‘overreact’ to mild correction and guidance? If it’s not then it sounds like gran was unkind and unnecessarily critical. Even if he did ‘overreact’ that’s potentially a sign something is going with him. You as his mother knows it’s something he’s sensitive about, which is another reason I would probably want to supervise and support him myself rather than expect someone else to and expose him to their scrutiny.

I’m not going to comment on anything apart from if he wants to contact his mother he is allowed to do that. Full stop. You might agree with grandma, you might chat to him later about behaviours and other choices, but no one would tell me kids they couldn’t contact me or tell me something. Work with lots of safeguarding though so could be colouring my view!

Just a thought. Teach him resilience by all means, but please don't ever tell him he's too sensitive. People who are sensitive to criticism tend to also be sensitive and caring to other people's feelings (as you've said yourself) and it's a complete mindfuck being told that sensitivity is bad one moment ("too" sensitive) and good the next (how good it is to be kind and sensitive to others). Just tell him being sensitive is great, and here's how to manage that without getting hurt by people's comments.

Only multiple choice answers are scanned; extended answers are still read and marked by examiners, so it does need to be at least legible.

Yes, the adult choosing to comment on a child’s handwriting knowing the child’s personality and their sensitivity about it is not an issue, the child complaining about it to their mum is the issue. 🙄

It’s part of his routine. This may shock some, but some children need routine even if it is a bit of homework and not doing it for several days or an entire week can kill their routine and make it harder for them to get back to it or try to get out of it because they didn’t have to do it during xyz so why do they have to do it now.

My parents nor my in-laws would have reacted this way or been as rude as OP’s MIL, but that’s because they understand how our children are, think education is important and know 30 minutes a day won’t damage their grandchildren.

Does child ring u for every negative comment made teachers must love you both

Does your son have dysgraphia?
If so then MIL is very insensitive and your son has to work extra hard at making his writing look vaguely legible, he should be encouraged for his writing attempts despite the outcome

Handwriting is not just important to exams though. Students will be at a severe disadvantage if they're unable to take handwritten notes from a lecture, class discussion, or to summarise their own reading - there's a gazillion studies showing that typing simply doesn't involve the same kind of mental processing of the material that handwriting does. That's also why handwriting vocabulary cards works so well to reinforce foreign language acquisition. Mind you, all of that involves using handwriting for the individual's own use. Granny's most definitely out of line if she fancies herself a calligraphy teacher.

She told him his handwriting was bad. She didn't give him 30 lashes

Phoning your mum because a grandparent made such a comment is a bit 'wet' tbh

This. I put the blame for this entirely on you and his grandmother. You shouldn't have sent him off to a sleepover with work to do but given that you did, she should have let him get on with it without getting involved and also she shouldn't have made the comment about indulging him. Poor child. If I had been him, I wouldn't just have locked myself on the bathroom, I'd have left the house and gone for a burger.

exactly 💯 percent. evey teachers parent meeting oh wexone needs to improve her handwriting my mother would constant criticise when saw my homework. I am now mid 40s and my writing is still terrible. thank god most is done by email etc now. Its just my own notes that are handwritten and I can read them that's all that matters. I am also a bad speller too so thank god for spell check

I would get him back.

She's a nasty insensitive woman.

I think he should be commended for doing his revision and not be attacked negatively bu her!

Get the ignorant woman to look up disgraphia.

I hope you support and encourage your DS.

I see what the grandparent was saying but equally your DS was trying to complete school work just for you? and his Grandma was critical of his handwriting- poor kid!! If you’re concerned about a topic sit with him and ask questions or work through the issue yourself.

This all could have been avoided!

Speak to your gp about his writing and a referral to your nhs Peds occupational therapist who can check his fingers for overly mobile joints.

He’s going to need a thicker skin than that for secondary school!

I don't think anyone should say anything regardless of who they are. There is not a pecking order to have a go at someone.
Poor lad will be feeling so much pressure, it is a pretty hard age to be with hormones kicking in and they get so much homework.