Not to go to my husband’s friend’s 40th birthday staycation? Trip is paid for me and his mum extra hotel room

I mean it depends how the day is set up but I’d be tempted to go for the meal and then excuse myself from the activity so I could get a couple of hours to myself or a couple of hours sleep? I think you need to be focussing on the longer term rather than getting caught up in this weekend.

I'm struggling too. I've not read her other posts though. From this all I'm getting is that all she has to do is pack babies clothes, he's done everything else and she says he doesn't consider her?

I think this is the first thread I've read where the majority of posters are NOT blaming the man, and are telling OP she is the U one.
But I don't think OP is getting the message. I don't know the background, to me I can't see what the husband had done wrong?

Even though the definition of abroad is to travel overseas or go to a foreign country?

I have posted a definition of abroad. So yes, it is

So your think he should leave the same time as you? Why can't you go to the party if MIL is there to babysit?

You've both been invited, your DH has arranged a babysitter, arranged everything else and your angry at this as well the fact your expected to pack your clothes amd babies clothes?

I've not read your other thread but I've seen comments on here from people who have that have said from all your posts, your marriage is dead in the water.

What is the real issue?

@YellowphantGrey

Thanks I don't know why those 3 keep quoting me!!

The person she doesn't understand is the one who quoted her to say that going on holiday on your own country is considered going abroad except you don't go by plane

You sound like hard work OP, not sure you actually like your husband either.

Lots of complaining about his lack of effort but you're on here whining that he has arranged a nice weekend and sorted child care so you can have a break and enjoy yourself...but you don't want to pack a bag.

You really think if you live in Birmingham and go to Great Yarmouth, you're going abroad?!

Or if you live in Manchester and go to the Lake District that it's going abroad?!

I agree with this. I think a staycation is when you stay in your own home and do holiday type things in the day. Staying away from home, even half an hour away, counts as a holiday, a domestic one.

But I would never use abroad to describe a holiday in the UK- rightly or wrongly for me (and most others) I think this means somewhere over the sea (and not Ireland, the Isle of Man, Scottish isles etc).

OP I think you should go on the weekend away but try to work out what you want to do in slower time- if you have your MIL for childcare maybe try to take a couple of hours for yourself for a coffee/ walk and get a couple of early nights if you can (it’s perfectly acceptable for you to excuse yourself from some of the party activities so long as you don’t give your DH a bollocking for staying).

Leave it with the fucking staycation twattery. The OP is having a hard time. If you people think it is so fascinating, go and have a private fucking staycation fucking meet-up for staycation bores elsewhere.

The OP insisted her husband spend a month with her parents after the baby was born. He put up with a month with the in laws to appease her.
It sounds whatever he does, she is irritated by him. There have been so many threads.
Leave or stay and make a go of it. I am sure he is ready to compromise but I really think the OP wants permission to leave. She clearly dislikes her husband.
OP, only you know if the love has gone and you want out. No one need stay in an unhappy marriage.
You dislike so much about him. You don't like his friends and his family. You dislike your MIL even though you insisted your husband spend a month with your difficult parents ( your words from a previous thread), you martyr yourself and you must be very difficult to live with.
Time to try and make a go of it or time to make plans for separation.

If you refuse to go now, you are probably destroying your marriage. Think about whether that's what you want to do. It would be very unfair on the people who invited you and on MIL, also.

Is there a reason your DH can't pack for the baby? Could he give you a bullet point version of the information you need for the murder mystery? Basically, what can he pick up that will relieve some of the burden of the trip?

Can everyone stop banging on about the staycation; I'm trying to follow the actual thread.

It's difficult to know exactly what's going on with your marriage OP. But there seems to be a lot of petty arguments and micro aggressions that are bringing you both down. Whether that's your fault or his fault or a bit of both is really not clear.

I really think you need to put your game face on and try and enjoy this weekend without fighting or kicking off. Please don't ruin someone else's occasion just to get one up.

Babies test even the strongest of marriages. Have you considered counselling?

A holiday in our country could be called a UKation.

This is so frustrating. OP came on looking for advice and support, and nearly every post has been people bickering over the definition of staycation! I find it really rude and disrespectful.
During Covid, some people started using staycation to mean holidays in the UK. Some people seem very pissed off about this. But who really cares?? It's just a modern, made up word anyway!!
Can't people just respond to OP'S questions or not at all?

Which bit don't you understand?

Obviously, I am old!

A holiday in the UK if you live in the UK is not "technically abroad"

A holiday away from home in the country you live is a domestic holiday

A holiday where you leave the country you live is a foreign holiday

A holiday where you stay at home at go for days out is a staycation

No you don't

I think we're derailing the thread but I can see both of your points of view.

I agree a staycation is staying home and doing days out, although many, (including OP) use it to mean staying in home country. It might just evolve it's meaning, words do that.

You did every holiday out of your home is 'going abroad'. Going abroad might literally mean leaving your home, but EVERYONE considers it to be leaving your home country. No one would say 'I'm going abroad to Skegness' (unless they live in Italy). So this is where lololulu is quite rightly having an issue with comprehension.

I wonder if you are a bit all over the place after having a baby OP. Because you are sounding quite unreasonable. It sounds as though people are really trying to make sure you have a nice time.

I know it's exhausting adapting to a new baby, you feel frumpy and out of it, sometimes it's weird when everyone else just seems to be getting on with their lives.