To think "pretty privilege" can start really early?

Oldest DC is this age and can't say I've noticed this at all. Besides most children look the same level of 'pretty' in my opinion tbh.

Someone once stopped me in a coffee shop to tell me how pretty my daughter was. I thanked them but pointed out that “she” was actually my son 🤣

He was pretty, he was the youngest and universally adored so he became very engaging. His pretty privilege kicked in very early, his childminder loved him, the girls at preschool wanted him to be their dolly (and he complied!). He’s never been in the popular clique at school tho’. He’s a bit of a nerd (and I mean that as a compliment) and not one to push boundaries but was always very popular with the teachers.

Also parents who are friends and organise play dates a lot helps create groups.

Not sure tbh, the majority of dc who are cute, pretty in their child years outgrow it and are never as pretty as they age.

Being “popular” isn’t necessarily a good thing, in my experience the popular kids are the loud ones and the bullies because people don’t want to be on the wrong side of them.

I would agree with this.

Plus the attractive kids when young don't necessarily stay that way into adulthood.

It has more to do with strong personalities imo.

my dd is told she's beautiful nearly on a daily basis by strangers and other people who come across her and she's just been punched in the stomach by another girl in year 1 and really struggling to fit in, so i don't believe it's such a thing. She also has her struggles with neurodiversity overlooked because people just think she's lucky to be so beautiful. This is completely unbiased btw, I get told how beautiful she is all the time, but I think all children are beautiful in different ways.

I think it starts very young. I was an overweight child with bad teeth. I got terribly bullied. In my early teens I had my teeth fixed and lost weight. I was scouted for modelling and suddenly the school peers who bullied me wanted to be my friends. I had a lot of mean comments from adults before I ‘blossomed’ who then would shower me with compliments.

I think there's a lot to be said for being in the middle. Neither particularly pretty nor particularly plain. Being treated specially due to prettiness when you're a child is not an advantage in the long term imo.

Being attractive definitely makes a difference, anyone who says otherwise is being naive.

Most of this confidence will come from their home life and parents, not from strangers

Oh god yes of course

I'll raise you (ahem) height privilege too

My DC is very pretty (I'm not just biased). I have definitely noticed people giving in to DC's demands more than than other kids. I don't want DC to be entitled or spoilt someone I try to be aware of it. But DC is like a pro at getting their way, even from total strangers! Definitely think pretty privilege starts young.

Yes, I had one gawky boy with buck teeth and hair that always stuck up, and one with gorgeous blonde curls and a twinkly smile.

The difference in the way their "mischief" was treated by the same teachers was astonishing, even in infant school.

They have charisma because they pick up on the social cues the world gives them from early on it’s called confidence.

A bullied or ignored person who’s always told they’re ugly and worthless is hardly going to feel confident and charismatic are they. Society is a mirror.

I’m not sure it’s a privilege to be seen as “pretty” as a young child. My friend had always been very traditionally cute and pretty, often positively remarked upon by adults, when she went through a slightly awkward phase in her teens the same adults were quite cruel in their comments about her “getting fat” or “what happened to the pretty little girl you used to be?”
She outgrow that phase and is a stunning adult woman but very insecure and places too much importance on looks as she thinks it’s how to get peoples approval and no one will like her if she doesn’t look flawless at all times.

I don’t know, I was actually a very unattractive as a child but I had no idea (thanks to my nice mum ) but I found out because I overheard a boy in Primary school say I was the second ugliest girl in the class, I was shocked! I didn’t know, I was oblivious. And looking at photos I wasn’t an attractive child.

I thankfully was a much more attractive teenager but as a primary aged child I wasn’t attractive. But if you tell your child they’re attractive they’ll have no idea, they’ll just believe whatever you tell them as you’re the parent.

I think perhaps you are starting to judge girls in year 1!

Confident friendly kids tend to attract other kids.

I don't think looks has anything to do with it.

But you are right that the cliques start young. Often around the most dominant children as they are not yet emotionally intellectually able to navigate this.

When they go onto secondary school it all changes though which often causes the originally dominant children to struggle.

No, even the teachers are guilty of favouring the classic blue eye blondes just as much as they do the neurotypical academics.

That just reads like pretty = stupid and ultimately unhappy. And ‘plain’ = intelligent.

I have a popular kid and while he’s handsome in my eyes, his popularity is not because of his looks. People of all ages seem to really like him and he was a very easy child to raise. He’s not the sportiest or academic person in his class either but being popular with others is definitely his strength.

Is it really a "privilege" to be pretty? As someone who has been called that and other terms throughout my life, I don't know.

I've had to work harder to be taken seriously.
I've had men use me and have no interest in my brains or thoughts.
I've been brushed off by other women even, which is the most hurtful of all.

Had it since I was a kid, and this is no humble brag. I don't like it.

I see it already beginning with DD. She's only young, and it aggravates me. I don't talk about her beauty. I talk about her brains, her personality and strength.

I know there'll be people saying "oh ho, look at you able to say this!" but it's true. I've had to work so, so hard to earn the position I'm in and I've had bosses who've been absolutely disgusting, and colleagues. Boyfriends before DH? Sickening.

I really don't even look for it myself. I love people. In the position I'm in now, I'd hire a "plain" woman over a "beautiful" woman for a front facing job if her skills were on parr.

Beauty isn't a talent.

Pretty pre schoolers are not necessarily pretty teens or adults. Beauty changes with age as does the level of privilege.

And as someone who was deemed "pretty" in my 20s it was a nightmare professionally. Never taken seriously with high levels of misogyny to the extent of having my a**e pinched regularly and told I didn't need to think (plus others which would be far too outing to put here). This was despite having a highly technical PhD and being very good at my job.

Actually I've been watching the "Educating...." series on YouTube recently (Yorkshire, Cardiff, The East End etc) and actually the popular groups of kids are not solely made up of "pretty" kids