To think "pretty privilege" can start really early?

I think that people's appearances change an awful lot between early primary and teens. Some very cute little kids get more ordinary looking, some slightly less traditionally 'pretty' ones really blossom and grow into their features.
People also gain their identities and more confidence as they grow up which can make them seem more confident and attractive.
Honestly I think nearly all very small kids are adorable. And hopefully don't start judging eachother on differences in appearance till they are a bit older. If at all.

My boy has both personality & looks. When he was a baby / toddler, adults would always admire him & chat to us. Now he’s in school, other children want to be his friend. It’s a thing!

@Clippyklop I haven’t, the dc at my school who were bullied were the ones who were different in some way eg glasses, overweight, poorer, bad at sport etc and I know at my DCs school it’s similar. I’ve seen a lot of people say people are mean to them because of the way they look but like Samantha Brick they are average 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some people are born pretty.

Some people are born rich.

Some people are born with epic brains.

Some people are born in slim bodies.

Lucky them! I don't like the term "privilege" which excuses bitterness and jealousy. Play to your own strengths let them play to theirs.

Agree. Tbh it was very rare (when I was at school at least) for any of the less popular girls to be objectively pretty. All of the girls who fit the usual idea of 'pretty' were very popular.

But then that could also be due to following more trends, make-up, hair etc. That has a big impact on who's seen as 'pretty' in a teen environment doesn't it.

Am I the only one who finds it slightly ick talking about children and how attractive they are as if they’re adults?

I think what cliques are based on can vary.. there were lots of pretty girls in my school year, but the popular clique weren't especially pretty compared to other people. They had some charismatic people but the main characteristics seemed to be being loud and drinking, vaping and dating from about 13.

Define "plain" . Someone who is friendly, engaged, a good listener, empathetic and kind will always be attractive. These qualities also last a lifetime whereas conventional good looks will inevitably fade with the passage of time. Good looks just mean that someone did well in the genetics lottery, character and kindness are something else altogether.

Oh come on !

I think as a society we don't want to believe it exists but in my experience I have seen it.

Someone at work and also amongst my children.

DS is a beautiful child and has been on TV several times. About 50% of our trips to a restaurant involve him getting a free juice or dessert and attention from waiting staff on his looks. People constantly compliment him about how handsome he is. My other child receives no such comments. She is also beautiful in my eyes but not to the extent he is in the conventional sense. He gets the same treatment at school. It's not so obvious but definitely he is a subtle favourite. It's a very interesting dynamic.

IME pretty girls are often bullied because other girls are jealous

Ive never seen that tbh.

I work in Primary, and yes children make friendship groups early but don't really think looks have much to do with it.

It's more to do with personality, interests, confidence, intellligence etc. and often based on their parents friendship group too because they have grown up in the community together and see each other out of school.

Usually the children who are outgoing, bright and most mature form the most popular group and are drawn to each other because they are similar and feed off each other. Children who are shy seek out other children who are shy too as they are non threatening and have a smaller friendship circle- often just in pairs. Children who struggle with behaviour and often learning too, always seek each other out- and often spend their time either winding each other up and fighting or being silly and disruptive together. Then there's usually a nice group of very average well behaved children who get lost somewhere in the middle but form lovely friendships and do very well- some might wish they were part of the popular group and strive to be accepted but most are happy with their friends.
Often there's a cool or funny or sporty boy who everyone wants to be friends with and all the girls idolise- to be in his gang you have to be cool and know the lastest trends in music, sport and fashion.

I think it's been this way since the dawn of time.

You can be the prettiest child in the class but it doesn't get you far if you don't have the confidence or personality to match it.

@MsCactus I did a bit of modelling when I was younger (was crap and mainly catalogues) and then went into other parts of the fashion world eg mags, buying so I have a lot of very attractive, striking, well dressed friends/acquaintances. I went to one of their weddings not too long ago and the women who grabbed my attention was overweight and in her 60s. She had a stunning face with an incredible bone structure. I said to the bride later “who is that, she’s amazing looking”. She rolled her eyes and said “she’s my aunt and people always notice her and go on about her”.

I saw a video with a singer saying how she wished she wasn't as beautiful. Because it meant that a large proportion of her compliments were about her looks. And her career is singing and she wanted people to focus on that and it just felt like people weren't taking her and her capabilities seriously. I found that quite interesting

And I'm Cleopatra. Good how the internet works, innit?

I feel conflicted about this subject.

I am very well read, and an educated woman that also happens to be considered beautiful in the conventional sense. It has opened so many doors and opportunities I have to admit. The constant positive reaction increased my confidence and I was able to relax and be exuberant.
It was a magnetic cycle.

Now I am much older nothing has changed - I’m 50 plus and have meaningful friendships and a more mature outlook. Looks won’t stave off the realities of death, poor health and misfortune. That happens to everyone and does not discriminate!

On reflection being gracious, intelligent, informed and considered are far greater qualities. The quiet confidence that true ability produces has long term benefits. Elegance is far more powerful than conventional beauty.

I’ve had so much fun as I’m so beautiful

They miss out on so much

@Dolorie I think a lot of dc are cute & generally it’s youth that makes them so eg plump cheeks, pouty lips etc but there are definitely dc that have features that you think that won’t age well or some dc who have to grow into their features.

lol

What?

I really pity women who are plain

At primary I don’t think that looks play such a big part. In my experience the ‘popular’ kids and the ‘leaders’ are not particularly the ‘pretty’ ones.
It’s very much more about strength of personality.
Also skills- being good at sport, dance, art etc.. things the younger one look up to.
I would expect it changes a bit as they get older.

@User37482 yeah to me it’s all about the actual face.

IME pretty girls are often bullied because other girls are jealous. This was definitely the case in my school, and I'm now seeing it in DDs school. Not all pretty people are outgoing, and when they're not, they get thought of as arrogant and up themselves.