To think "pretty privilege" can start really early?

It's not that, or not just that. The fact is attractive people (men and women) have advantages in all aspects of life. It's just a fact. People respond more positively to them in every situation, they earn more too.

Ahh yes, the privilege of starting to get sexually harassed by grown men at 7 years old 🙄

FFS grow up.

This - it’s confidence people are drawn to.

I think very attractive children can have a lasting confidence however they look as adults.

Teachers are kinder, Mary in the school play, etc. Playdate popularity, etc.

My 16yo in particular is very pretty, to the point where everyone comments, but it doesn't feel like a privilege to her. Barely a day goes by when she isn't beeped at from a car, or commented on by pervy adult men telling her they can't stop looking at her or that she is so beautiful and when she was waitressing it was awful for her to deal with. She has been followed and also had comments when in her school uniform from men old enough to be her dad. In addition she has had bitchy comments and low level bullying from other girls accusing her of thinking that she's 'all that' but she really doesn't. She wears no make up at all and lives in joggers and trainers yet she still gets it. If there is a plus side we have yet to.uncover it for her!

@SallyWD I totally agree, also remember those FHM 100 hottest women lists from the 2000s? Often the women who made those lists and were high up were those with the most exposure in popular culture rather than the most objectively beautiful. I can't remember but I think they may even have been reader votes that determined who sat where on the list. It definitely seems about more than just looks even if that is part of it.

I have definitely benefited from this not stunning but have a good figure and pretty face - but I think it is a positive reinforcement cycle in that people (men and women) telling me I look gorgeous gives me confidence and makes me smile more (according to a friend recently) I ‘exude’ confidence. I just expect people to be nice to me because the invariably are, and so I am nice to them and so it circles.
But I do think smiling/laughing and being animated (not gushing or ‘bubbly’) and being interested in people has got me many more opportunities than just looks.
There is a very interesting book by Richard Wiseman ‘The Luck Factor’ that examines this.

Looking back to my school days, it wasn't necessarily the pretty girls who were in the In Crowd. It was more to do with attitude, wearing the right clothes, confidence etc. There were plenty of pretty girls who were the opposite of cool and lacked confidence.

I think it does start early like in primary school it was always the blonde haired blue-eyed girl who would be picked to play mary in the nativity without fail. Hopefully that doesn't happen anymore!

I found my old high school yearbook recently and looking back through it I did think the most popular girls weren't actually the prettiest so by them something else is in play popularity perhaps reflects some kind of social dominance that isn't about looks but more about fitting in and controlling the conditions around fitting in. It seems like the girls who could do this were deemed prettier by people at the school but looking back ad an adult they really weren't the most attractive at all.

I think at school in the popularity stakes is it more about “hot” than “pretty” (thinking of teen years). The ones that all the boys fancied in my school weren’t spectacularly beautiful, they were the first to develop and usually had highlights and lots of makeup which made them look a lot older than they were. The confidence that gave them however seemed to last.

Also agree with PP that truly beautiful people remain so. My DM was still striking when she passed away in her 60s and people would make comments to me often (even as a child!) about how attractive she was.

My son is attractive but only 7. A boy told his mother my son had a lovely face and he's so popular.

My looks are probably going now but I didn't find it a privilege. Creepy men and bitchy women. I was shy when younger so any attention wasn't welcome and made me anxious. I had some horrible co workers who used to try and bring me down a peg or 2. I really didn't need that as I wasn't a conceited person.

I'm confused by your comment - you say you're pretty but in your later paragraph say "I think I look odd". If you have usual looks you're probably not going to get pretty privilege.

I think I have pretty privilege because men go out of their way to be nice to me. I've had random men run across a railway track because I dropped something - I've been gifted random things, allowed to ride public transport for free etc. I only really noticed the privilege disappeared when I was heavily pregnant, swollen face and objectively not that attractive and random people in the street weren't super nice to me like usual. I don't relate to your post saying men are awful to attractive women - in my experience men fawn over attractive women

Yes it is proven that pretty people are more likely to attract friends, be forgiven or let off when doing something wrong. They can also be subject to bullying tho.

Pretty privilege is absolutely a thing among adults, and there are countless studies to back that up.

I'm not convinced it's a huge factor in how younger children form friendship groups, though.

I fully agree. Getting to the point where most of your male friends have had an intention beyond friendship, and losing friendships, other women jealous or off towards you. People don't like to say it and get accused of humble bragging... but it only gets you so far in life, and it's usually with creepy men.

Things have changed so much. When I was at primary school in the 80s, efforts were being made to de-genderise schools, trousers were being introduced to uniforms, sports were unisex, short hairstyles were accepted, society was moving towards a gender free ideal.

Now, it's girls wear pink, boys wear blue; boys play soccer, girls do ballet; girls are demure, boys are boisterous. Massive regression.

And then you have social media and sexualisation at secondary - totally alien to the 80s early 90s experience that I enjoyed.

I actually wish my daughter was unattractive - that way she may escape being sexualised and objectified, and can just study, play, make friendships, pursue hobbies, and live her life - like boys are still able to do.

Being a "pretty" girl in 2024 is not the same as it was in 1984.

Being perceived as beautiful, ugly or different absolutely garners how we are treated, and I agree, from a very young age.

I was low birthweight (just shy of 4lbs) and as an adult reached just shy of 5’. As a child, teen and until a few years ago, looked much younger than my age as well as a bit fragile and unusual (turned out I had a genetic condition). I didn’t have pretty privilege but from early on got away with far more in terms of cheekiness, allowances being made and extra attention, especially from adults. Older kids at school and friends in my street would carry me about even though I had no mobility issues and didn’t ask to be picked up. I’d just ask for something and my DBs would do it without question. Looking back I definitely milked it but as an adult just wanted to be blend in. As I got older I became more anss and stopped putting up with being infantilised. My ex really took this to a ridiculous degree and it ruined my confidence and esteem. Society is hugely judgemental and looksist, no matter what is said about body positivity, different beauty standards etc. if I had been beautiful as well as looking tiny and rather fragile, I’d probably have been a total nightmare.

Never heard the term "Pretty privilege" but know exactly what you mean. I have 2 very attractive friends, one I've known since childhood, people have always responded very positively to her, given her attention, sought her out, I think it's a huge confidence boost when people react so positively to you.
Another very attractive friend I've only known through adulthood but I definitely notice the difference in how people respond the second she walks into a room people, especially men!, will always want to chat to her, seek her out, take an opportunity to make small talk etc it's palpable the attention she attracts. She also is offered every job she interviews for , especially if interviewed by men, she is aware of this and says I can tell they (he) really liked me-tbf she also works hard as and is good at what she does.
I'm hoping "plain priviledge" as mentioned by pp works to my advantage 😂

I'm always baffled by this too!

Personally, brown skin and brown eyes, olive skin is much more exotic and attractive IMO but hardly mentioned!

I could see a model not being approached much. A tall, thin beautiful woman could be intimidating, especially in groups. I'm shorter, very busty, and give off a "sexy" vibe (I've worked in strip clubs). I try to be very nice and approachable but they're people that will always judge me as being a slut just at based on appearance, both men and women.

@Jazminsbutter i think men & women often have different beauty ideals, I also think its depends on area. I’m a Londoner and growing up individuality was a good thing but when I went to uni in a different city a lot of people there dressed in a very different way eg much more glammed up and a lot of them liked to dress the same eg all girls with completely straight ironed hair, same shoes etc. I did feel like I wasn’t seen in the same way as I was at home and felt a bit out of sorts initially.

@Ladyzfactor Im sorry you have experienced that. I only have my experiences & as I said I’m still friends with a few girls from modelling days & some of them are/were much better looking than me & it’s just not something that has happened to us. We also didn’t get that many comments from strangers then or now. Turned heads? Yes but I would say people wouldn’t really approach us particularly in a group. Certainly the boys I liked never approached/talked to me! 😆😆

iv observed a lot of boys / men who will call a pretty but plainer girl usually brunette ( as in not fake tan make up blonde brassy etc ) ugly and give her a complex about her attractiveness, then drool & perv all over blonde, orange, filler and spanner faced wanna be Barbie’s so I think a lot of men confuse high maintenance and fake looking with pretty. I see it all the time.

I disagree when I was in primary school a few children were in a clique but their parents were the same and they were bullies. I’m sure it happens in every primary school