To think "pretty privilege" can start really early?

True and usually they find nice husbands too who don't cheat on them because they aren't superficial.
Can never get over how all the most beautiful women in the world seem to get cheated on by partners. Makes me think it's the type of men that physically beauty attracts. Just my opinion and am open to being wrong.

Of course you are right. Everyone remember their popular ones is it?

children repeat what they see so….

Thank you! This sounds fascinating, I'll order it. I find how women behave with one another an interesting topic, and in lots of cases a bit depressing when really we should be banding together. Patriarchy at play, of course, which is a shame. The fact it comes from a positive perspective is exactly what I'd like to dig into!

Phyllis Chesler's book Woman's Inhumanity to Woman, talks about how our sex relate to one another in general, at work, in groups, and also specifically mother and daughter relationships, and how we relate to one another as friends. I'm currently reading it. It is well researched and well written, and although it might as though it's a bit negative, it really isn't, it's a very helpful positive book

From the things said in that thread and the things said to me/about me IRL, it seems like even the most innocuous of things makes them think we're trying to spite them. Pulling sleeves over our hands if we're cold, daring to be cold and mention it! Because apparently we want to look "fragile". Such a twisted way of thinking, and you can't do right from wrong sometimes.

If I went to work in a pencil skirt and nice blouse, I'd get the eye rolls about me flaunting myself. I wear an oversized cardi to wrap up in and I'm trying to show off my femininity. And this from women. Shows a really twisted mindset.

I think there's a lot of internalised misogyny at play too.

So because you haven’t experienced it it’s not true. Some men prefer the image a woman has, it’s a bit like not seeing the wood for the trees.

Ive known men to say they love fake boobs, lips, eyelashes, teeth the whole shebang etc they criticise/bully women who are pale with mousy or dark hair. some men just love the fake look and I blame porn and white van men types trying to score points from other white van men.

My husband's ex and sister once put their heads together and decided to spread rumours that I was anorexic and bulimic once. The wildest part was that they used my SD's "evidence" that I was throwing up a lot, when they both knew I was pregnant at the time and suffering from morning sickness!

Definitely there are downsides to being seen as pretty, but, occasional mean girl rumours aside, I've not done badly out of it.

This. But I think there is a difference with boys and girls (unfortunately) where a boys personality will make him popular regardless of his looks whether for girls looks seem to count more..

That's it exactly - they want attractive women taken down a peg or two. Especially if they're spiteful enough to be thin as well as good looking. The cheek of it.

Yes, that was the one.

Thing is most people are attractive particularly when young & a bit of time, effort & money you can make yourself more attractive eg better hair, skin, clothes etc. very few people are downright ugly just like very few are beautiful. And even then people have very different ideas, I think Angelina Jolie is stunning, plenty would disagree.

It's so rude, and outright cruel. What a thing to say to someone - I honestly think some of it is trying to bring people down a peg or two, because in their mind attractive women must think they're God's gift. It just isn't the bloody case at all, we're just trying to get on with our day. I don't feel like they must even comprehend that these comments can stick with people.

I've had the comments about not eating - I remember one time being accused of having an eating disorder. As I was eating a bloody Subway sandwich! It's just vicious.

Oh I’m the crass one.

In your earlier post you said that we are hardwired to find symmetrical, healthy looking people attractive, that it means they’re not carrying obvious disease and are there for genetically healthy.

No it absolutely does not, all it means is someone isn’t carrying obvious infections on the surface. There is so much more going on underneath the surface that isn’t obvious to the naked eye. Why do you think people who meet the obvious Beauty standards have a hard time getting taken seriously by doctors/mental health professionals, or simply to garner sympathy by society in their own ill health or hardships, because they look the ‘picture of health and beauty/vitality’

As for genetically healthy how many of the more beautiful / healthy looking celebrities have been victim to cancer/degenerative diseases or simply succumbed to addiction or suicide due to mental illness.

Just so you know Beauty and symmetry don’t go hand in hand, it’s our modern day vanity obsessed society that confuses good looks with symmetry. Not all symmetrical faces are attractive and not all attractive faces have fortune of good health.

We live in a society built on stereotypes, were people think they can point out the drug addict or health status of a person, simply by a glance at their face.

Its so messed up but people keep perpetuating this myth at the detriment of others.

Yep really offensive actually. There was a lady obsessed with my build too. 5 foot 3 and 8 stone back then. Accusing me of not eating etc when i ate like a horse.
Another nasty colleague said I only got another husband when I was a single mum due to my looks ? As in no single mum would be wanted by anyone ? Bloody rude.

Are you being serious? Do you genuinely think that men listen to ugly women and take what they have to say seriously? That women are nice to them? That they're not dismissed as ugly/bitter/stupid/a joke?

These threads are always batshit and always devolve into posters insisting that ugly women could never possibly be sexually assaulted.

I genuinely do not know any men who only go for the Barbie/pornstar look and don't appreciate naturally pretty women. Who are these men? Most of the men I know say they prefer the natural look.

I never said all blondes are fake. I meant the ones a lot of men go for that aren’t attractive but make themselves look like a barbie/porn star for male attention.

The same men that call naturally pretty girls ugly if they don’t aspire to the fake done up look, but will happily date a facially less attractive bimbo type.

I'm sure you are not ugly . Very few people are . At least you can laugh and smile in a group of men without them thinking it's a come on . Men listen to what you have to say and take you seriously. Women are nicer to you . You're taken more seriously at work and people listen to your feedback . No one dismisses you as a stupid airhead with no personality or thinks you are a stuck up bitch that needs teaching a lesson and tries to take you down . There are downsides to being good looking too .

Was it a few weeks ago? That was so bloody vicious wasn't it? Doesn't matter if we don't even like sweets, we should be accepting cake silently so other people feel better. Apparently even saying "just a little piece" is having a go.

A few years ago a friend told me I had ‘pretty privilege’. If I do it certainly hasn’t got me very far!

I know my features aren’t ‘plain’ but I certainly don’t see them as beautiful and have never believed anyone who has told me I was. I’ve had men approach me in the street to ask for my number but I assumed it was a joke or a dare and it just made me feel more self conscious. I feel I look odd to the point of tears on occasions, and I’ve gone through phases of being afraid to leave the house or speak to people because of my freakish appearance. I could probably acquire a diagnosis of BDD if I could bring myself to admit my insecurities to an HCP, but I can’t.

I think confidence has a lot more to do with it. And I think perhaps the biggest privilege of all is a secure, loving childhood that can instil that confidence.

I wouldn't know.
I have always been a very ugly woman. I would love to be even halfway attractive for just one day.

I agree. I wouldn't have agreed years ago as I couldn't have believed people would be so shallow but after working for many years in primary schools and being a mother of three, I have seen enough to know it's definitely true.

Yes, did you see that thread about performative thinness recently? Apparently we only turn down cakes as part of a big show off routine.

Oh that's basically a death sentence. Can't even eat a sandwich or turn down a cake you don't like without a comment. It's like having your whole life on display and a talking point.

@GiddyRobin

And god help you if you were slim too .