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Original poster

Do all men cheat?

161 replies

yungnluv · 23/10/2024 18:17

I found out my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me a year ago and I genuinely mean this wholeheartedly it's the last thing in the world I thought he'd ever do to me. He was mad about me, adored the ground I walked on, showed he loved me everyday, he talked about marrying me every single day and starting a family. Talked about growing grey and old together. He would cry because he loved me so much. Would regularly bring me flowers , plan date nights and he genuinely made me feel like the most loved girl in the world the whole 6 years.

When I found out, shocked wasn't even the word.

And I'm sure there's women out there now who would say "my husband would never ever do that to me" and this is scary because I said the exact same thing.

It's an awful question but do most men cheat? Why do they cheat? Have you been cheated on before?

Disgusting. Ruins life's and family's. 💔

OP posts:
gannett · 23/10/2024 20:08

Don't know the proportion of men who have or would cheat because I haven't done the research. But I'm more sure that all people who actually make "all men do X" or "all women do Y" sweeping statements are pretty stupid.

OneLoftyFish · 23/10/2024 20:07

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Cynic17 · 23/10/2024 20:04

No, of course not. A (probably small) number will, but so will a (probably small) number of women. Men and women are no different - they are just people, with all the varied behaviours you would expect. Please don't just automatically scapegoat 50% of the population (and I say this as a female).

rosestone19 · 23/10/2024 19:58

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saltysandysea · 23/10/2024 19:55

I would say not all men cheat but after seeing the trial about Gisèle Pelicot's husband (who she claimed was the perfect husband, as did the other wives about their husbands who raped Gisele when drugged) I am keeping an open mind about what they are capable of.

Most husbands I know have cheated at some point. Some have zero intention of been faithful, others are more discrete.

Longma · 23/10/2024 19:53

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Ottobeak · 23/10/2024 19:53

I think everyone has the capacity to cheat. I don't think everyone has cheated, but I don't think there's anyone who definitely wouldn't under any circumstances.

I don't just mean opportunity, most good people could resit that, but opportunity coming at a time when you're feeling vulnerable or unloved, maybe stressed, and come across someone who gets it in a way the partner at home doesn't or is too busy with their own worries. Add some money worries and a need to escape for a bit and pretend life is different, a feeling that you can't just leave because people would be devastated, then a boozy night out coincides with a row....

summer3219 · 23/10/2024 19:51

Not all men cheat, the same as not all women cheat. However, I think given the right circumstances and opportunity most people would. The particular circumstances and opportunity would be different for different people but I don't believe anyone is immune to the possibility.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 23/10/2024 19:48

I believe most men cheat. Very few of my friend's husbands/partners have not.

JazzyJelly · 23/10/2024 19:46

DeeCeeCherry · 23/10/2024 18:38

No, not all men cheat. But I reckon 99% would if there was absolutely zero chance of getting caught.

Sadly, this

OneLoftyFish · 23/10/2024 19:45

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stayathomer · 23/10/2024 19:44

I would never have thought this before but after finding out in the last few years of the number of the most solid relationships (or so it seemed) breaking up but most because the man cheated. So now I think ‘not all men’ but introduce alcohol and temptation at the age where people are questioning stuff then it’s a much bigger possibility than I ever thought. Sighs.

Justgoodforthegetting · 23/10/2024 19:43

I work with a lot of men and have done for years. There’s very few of them that I’d be genuinely shocked to find out they’d cheated. Most of them would and do, in my own experience, if given the opportunity.

OneLoftyFish · 23/10/2024 19:42

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NewName24 · 23/10/2024 19:41

KrisAkabusi · 23/10/2024 18:30

No. Same as women. Some do, some don't.

Yup.
This

Attelina · 23/10/2024 19:37

No.

usernother · 23/10/2024 19:34

Not all do. But you can never ever know if yours will, won't, has or hasn't. Same with women.

Jessie1259 · 23/10/2024 19:32

Grepes · 23/10/2024 19:04

If all men cheat then all women cheat. Unless the only men that cheat are homosexual.

You do realise that men can cheat with single women? That not every woman in the world is married?

Given the chance to sleep with a young attractive women then yes, I think most men would cheat.

lololulu · 23/10/2024 19:31

@yungnluv

Did he cheat on you with a man?

Spicylollies · 23/10/2024 19:28

I've been with my husband for 26yrs, married for 16. 2 kids .. best life ever, looking forward to early retirement. Best friends and tell each other everything, many deep conversations about cheating and how our relationship is going, always checking in on each other. Never known a better family man and Dad.

Two months ago I found out completely by accident that he had an affair 2yrs ago for a whole year. He didn't act differently in any way, shape or form. Literally don't know who is is anymore...so now I
do believe that yes, any man will cheat.

Doesn't mean I won't trust someone again, eventually... maybe....but I definitely won't be surprised if they do.

P.S Divorcing that waste of space, I'm worth more than that! Looking forward to the new chapter in my life.

EasternEcho · 23/10/2024 19:28

I think most men will cheat if they can get away with it. The reason I say it is because men seem to be able to compartmentalize their lives much better than women. They can adore their wives and children and be there in every way, and still cheat, and not connect the two, or have it impact different areas of their lives. I may be wrong, but that's my observation.

Moglet4 · 23/10/2024 19:27

5128gap · 23/10/2024 18:31

More than a few men go their entire life without the slightest opportunity to cheat, attractive to no one but their partners (if they're lucky) so no, not all will cheat because for many the chance would be a fine thing.

That made me chuckle

MarkingBad · 23/10/2024 19:26

Emmaki · 23/10/2024 19:24

My personal view is that men are more likely to cheat on a whim if given the opportunity. They might not go looking for it but if someone gives them the nod, then they are more likely to do it than a woman.

fortunately most of them don’t get the nod!

Then where are they finding all these women who give them the nod or is there one seriously busy woman out there servicing all the cheating men?

NeedToChangeName · 23/10/2024 19:25

Resilience · 23/10/2024 19:09

No, but many do and more would if they had the opportunity or thought they could get away with it. That's not cynical, it's an understanding of human nature. It's why even in a loving committed relationship everyone should set their affairs up so they can cope with walking away if need be.

The same is true for women but IMO women hide it better or may choose not to because of complex social conditioning reasons.

Where people go wrong is assuming that if they have a happy marriage they'll never be tempted. That's so unrealistic and is the reason so many people convince themselves their spouse isn't fulfilling them and start nit picking. Truth is most are just seeking the kind of excitement and validation that only really comes in the initial stages of a sexual/romantic union when real life and responsibility hasn't yet invaded the fantasy.

Once you accept that most affairs are about how they make you feel and that you will find other people attractive, you realise there is a lot you can do to avoid them. No affair happens instantly. There are lots of little moves/decisions which lead up to them and awareness of this means you can avoid them.

Wise words!

I don't think my DH would cheat. I really don't. But I'm not naive enough to kid myself it could never happen

Statistically, I've heard that approx 80% of people are honest, 19% would commit crime if they thought they'd get away with it, 1% go ahead and do it anyway. Perhaps it's similar for cheating?

Emmaki · 23/10/2024 19:24

My personal view is that men are more likely to cheat on a whim if given the opportunity. They might not go looking for it but if someone gives them the nod, then they are more likely to do it than a woman.

fortunately most of them don’t get the nod!