Do all men cheat?

Who do men cheat with? How come more men cheat than women on stats? Or is it a survey issue?Are the excess men all stag do type paid cheaters?

Respectfully, and he may well not have cheated, but it’s literally impossible for you to know this.

Someone telling you they take their vows seriously is someone who wants people to know he takes his vows seriously. It’s not verifiable proof.

I am absolutely not insinuating anything about your husband but I never understood why people make themselves a hostage to fortune by saying their OH would “never” cheat. By definition they can’t know.

But the patterns don't hold true across different societies and different periods of time (reading up on matriarchal societies is very eye-opening). They don't even really hold true within our own patriarchal-conditioned society - it's just that men and women who don't fit those patterns are considered exceptions at best, deviants at worst. (Where do lesbians and gay men fit into those patterns?) The patterns - which are just gender stereotypes when it comes down to it - feel more like boxes to keep us in our lanes. I don't consider them useful to actually apply to real life or individual people.

In my experience, people that are over the top/obsessive in relationships are more likely to be emotionally immature. And I would argue that people that are emotionally immature are more likely to cheat.

I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that him being over the top “in love” (rather, lust) with you was because he was feeling guilty as others have suggested. But I do agree that it isn’t a good sign if someone treats you like that.

I remember having a relationship like that, but then I was 15.

In answer to your click bait title, of course not all men cheat.

I think they cheat because some of them keep their brains in their trousers.

Agreed. It all sounds a bit OTT. He sounds like he was doing all the cliched lover stuff, but maybe he was covering up something.

Well yes, I was single before I got married, so I understand the concept. Not every man is married either. But not all women or men that people cheat with are single and from my limited experience of people I know and the threads on here, most are in a relationship. How many threads start with ‘shall I tell the OW’s husband’ or similar.

I don’t think all women and all men think like a homogeneous mass. Some people cheat, some don’t, some cheat and never cheat again, some always cheat. It’s completely down to the person. I don’t believe that all married men cheat with single women though - that doesn’t make sense statistically.

I'm sure my DH has never cheated on me. He takes his marriage vows very seriously.

No one can ever say never.
I knew my first DH would never cheat on me, would hear of it happening to other people and think to myself “that would never happen to us!” Etc. but then he had his head turned by the woman at work. A tale as old as time.

I trust my now DH, but I won’t ever think “he’ll never do that” again.

Men and women ARE different. There are very different behaviour patterns and motivations between the two sexes. Men chase sex more than women and take up opportunities more readily. Women have more opportunities but reject opportunities more frequently. Not all men or all women obviously, but in sufficient numbers for it to be a pattern. How this impacts the likelihood of cheating I don't know, but I do know that pretending both sexes are just people who behave in exactly the same way doesn't help our understanding of it.

Exactly this

Your partner's behaviour was very odd, he was over compensating drastically. If someone was crying because they loved me so much I'd immediately get suspicious to be honest. I think a large proportion of men would cheat if they get the opportunity but by no means all.

Never been married but I have been in several long term cohabiting stable relationships and long term but not living together, and in 9 out of 10 of those relationships I found out the man cheated on me, even when we were enjoying a varied and frequent sex life.

I think it's partly the nature of being male. Their social conditioning ought to keep it in check but it does not seem to.

You know in Victorian times and earlier men wrote it into the marriage laws that any amount of adultery by a man was NOT grounds of divorce for a woman but vice versa just one quickie with another man and that WAS grounds for her hubby to get a divorce.

No they don’t.

But to be honest I don’t think your husbands behaviour you described sounds like he was the least likely person to ever cheat. It actually sounds like love bombing.

its too intense, sounds insincere and could have been a manipulative way of making you never suspect him or making himself feel better after he had cheated.

Monogamy in an evolutionary term is quite different to what we expect from our meaning of til death do s part.

Evolutionary wise are are a largely monogamous species but also in that term we need to feel we get something from the other partner in terms of partnership. Mostly monogamous species operate in this way. If you are lazy or crap you are sent off and someone new is found.

A lot of cheaters cheat because they have opportunity but also because something is missing in the relationships we have. That's not to say that occasionally a partner in a happy relationship doesn't cheat but it is less prevalent when the partnership is fulfilling on both sides. Relationship and cheating research bears this out.

Our version of monogamy is get married and stay faithful whatever happens or however unhappy we are. That is where monogamy is unrealistic

If monogamy on evolutionary terms were not natural, we wouldn't have a need to guard partners which both sexes in humans do. That's the natural bit requiring partnerships to work for both partners.

This.

They absolutely don’t all cheat but there’s absolutely no way to know who will and won’t.

And anyone who tells you they know their Nigel would never cheat is crossing their fingers. They don’t know. No one knows.

All you can do is trust until you have a reason not to but not hang around for explanations or apologies if that trust is broken.

Of course they don't all cheat. I'm afraid your mistake was believing that all that massively OTT, obsessed with you, lovey-dovey stuff was a green flag. It was a red flag. That's not how genuinely good partners (or normal, balanced human beings) behave.

Clearly it is realistic because there are many very long marriages where both partners have stayed faithful.

How long have you gone without cheating?