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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you'd go to the pub?

111 replies

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:11

Using here for traffic as it's a quick decision I need Grin

I walk DD to a club on Wednesdays between 7-8. It's about 20 minutes each way and there are no shops or cafes or anything else open at this time of night. There is however a Wetherspoons. DH thinks I should just take my book and sit in there with a drink (doesn't have to be alcoholic) because I have about 15 minutes at home before having to go back. Pub is 2 minutes from her club. The thing is, it's quite a busy pub and I get anxiety on my own in large crowds. Would you go to the pub or go home for 15 minutes? Sorry for using AIBU, please ask for it to be moved if this isn't appropriate use of this board. I guess AIBU for potentially sitting in the pub?

OP posts:
StMarieforme · 23/10/2024 18:25

Pub!

whatcanthematterbe81 · 23/10/2024 18:24

Defo, small glass of red and a little bit of people watching. The best place to do that is Wetherspoons

Zippedydodah · 23/10/2024 18:24

Pub. Book or knitting and a podcast or paper and crossword. I can easily switch off from the hubbub around me.

Original poster
wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:23

@BogRollBOGOF ah but if it's a local pub for local people, is there anything for me there?

OP posts:
Lucylaughing · 23/10/2024 18:23

Definitely the pub! You can order from the app to your table at Spoons, which might be good if you're on your own

Edited to add: why don't you go in next time just to have a look what the atmosphere is like? You don't have to stay. You can always pretend you were looking for someone who wasn't there and walk back out again.

Prisonpillow · 23/10/2024 18:23

I definitely wouldn’t need someone else to suggest this. Sounds lovely.

Meadowfinch · 23/10/2024 18:22

Pub, definitely.

Get to know the bar staff. Choose the quietest area of the pub. They will soon get used to you and be pleased to support you.

SoDemure · 23/10/2024 18:21

Pub 100%

But depends on your anxiety. Does it manifest itself in full blown panic attacks or do you just not prefer being on your own? Sorry to ask but anxiety is used so commonly these days just to describe a low level worry or preference not to do something.

BogRollBOGOF · 23/10/2024 18:20

Pub. I do this. 45 blissful minutes of reading Grin
Plus a bit of crafty people watching- it's a local pub for local people. I walk in and the barman grabs a bottle of coke from the fridge for me.

I also stay at another activity and read because it's walking distance and again, it's a fiddly amount of time between walking home and walking back.

I've been known to take the sewing kit with me too- I can get 4 scout badges done in that time.

Hollowvoice · 23/10/2024 18:20

Absolutely pub. Love a quiet hour ish in a pub with a book.

Octavia64 · 23/10/2024 18:18

Pub

Buy lemonade, book, sorted

Livinginaclock · 23/10/2024 18:17

Definitely go to the pub.

Ponderingwindow · 23/10/2024 18:16

my social anxiety meter is high.

try the pub. You will likely be pleasantly surprised. I prefer a booth/table to the bar. I’m more comfortable and feel less exposed.

MrsMoastyToasty · 23/10/2024 18:16

Go to pub; move directly to pub; do not pass Go.

In our household this is known as a "Mummy Moment" where I take time out. You have to take them where you can.

PrueRamsay · 23/10/2024 18:15

Pub with book

WetBandits · 23/10/2024 18:15

Definitely pub and a book!

Simonjt · 23/10/2024 18:15

I do a pub night when my son has his dance class, I always have a non-alcoholic beer and a packet of crisps, wild.

snowstorm2012 · 23/10/2024 18:15

Definitely pub with a large glass of wine 👌🏼

Mandylovescandy · 23/10/2024 18:13

I would first investigate exercise options as would probably rather go for a run or to the gym but if my options were just pub or back and forth for just a few mins at home 100% pub

FfsNotNow · 23/10/2024 18:13

There is a spoons right opposite a club my dds all attend - I do this regularly

elderflowerspritzer · 23/10/2024 18:13

If I was feeling energetic and there was somewhere nice to walk nearby, I'd go for a walk.

Otherwise I'd go and have something to eat in the pub.

I'd try and connect with other parents at the group and see what they do with that hour, and see if they want to come as well.

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 23/10/2024 18:13

totally would go to the pub

helpfulperson · 23/10/2024 18:13

Give it a go and see how you feel. If you hate don't repeat. But personally I'd be enjoying some reading and a G&T.

SophiaJ8 · 23/10/2024 18:13

You can use the app to order and pay in spoons too, so you don’t have to brave the crowds at the bar either, just find a table and sit down.

Pootles34 · 23/10/2024 18:12

Pub, as it's a wetherspoons you'll probably find a quiet corner.

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