Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you'd go to the pub?

111 replies

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:11

Using here for traffic as it's a quick decision I need Grin

I walk DD to a club on Wednesdays between 7-8. It's about 20 minutes each way and there are no shops or cafes or anything else open at this time of night. There is however a Wetherspoons. DH thinks I should just take my book and sit in there with a drink (doesn't have to be alcoholic) because I have about 15 minutes at home before having to go back. Pub is 2 minutes from her club. The thing is, it's quite a busy pub and I get anxiety on my own in large crowds. Would you go to the pub or go home for 15 minutes? Sorry for using AIBU, please ask for it to be moved if this isn't appropriate use of this board. I guess AIBU for potentially sitting in the pub?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
sangriaandsunshine · 24/10/2024 11:04

I started doing this in the summer as the pub had a lovely beer garden, it was one of the rare sunny evenings we had this summer and I happened to have my book with me. It soon became a regular thing except for the sun didn't last long so I moved inside. I now have a few preferred spots where I'm away from the hubbub and can have an hour's peace. It is such a highlight of my week. I think of it as my mid-week re-set

OnGoldenPond · 24/10/2024 08:43

Definitely pub, coffee and that thick book I've been trying to find time to read for ages. Would be highlight of my week.

Wish this had been an option when I was taking DC to after school activities. They were never anywhere near a pub or cafe so just had to sit in the car Sad

OnGoldenPond · 24/10/2024 08:38

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:23

@BogRollBOGOF ah but if it's a local pub for local people, is there anything for me there?

You become an honorary local person if you go in regularly. Smile

TofuTart · 24/10/2024 02:36

GreyCarpet · 24/10/2024 02:13

Tbh, this is a question I've seen asked a few times on here and I don't really understand how it can still even be a question some women ask!

I know a few people like this, I just don't get it personally. I bloody love going out by myself 😁
They don't feel comfortable out by themselves, need someone with them all the time to socialise.
I'm the opposite, I mean I like being out with friends /family but I'm sure as hell not missing out on concerts, cinema, theatre, meals at places I fancy just because nobody else does! 🙂

TofuTart · 24/10/2024 02:31

You've got what, 20 mins approx to kill before having to pick her up again?
It's a no brainer for me, I'd be in Spoons with half a cider scrolling Facebook and enjoying the peace and quiet 😁

GreyCarpet · 24/10/2024 02:13

Tbh, this is a question I've seen asked a few times on here and I don't really understand how it can still even be a question some women ask!

PennyApril54 · 23/10/2024 23:12

Unless you really enjoy the walk of course it's okay to sit in the pub. Definitely take a book or your phone . Enjoy some time and peace!

toomuchfaff · 23/10/2024 23:07

I'd go. I used to find great anxiety from going alone to a pub, then I started working away and pubs end up being the place to go, not to drink, to eat, to not be in the hotel room sat on a bed etc. Nothing wrong with a pub.

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/10/2024 22:36

Pub for sure. Take a book, read something on your phone or play a game, whatever. Enjoy some Me Time.

Mumof2girls2121 · 23/10/2024 22:15

Pub

thoughtaboutitsndforgot · 23/10/2024 22:10

Pub

Do this for your anxiety. Each time it will be easier

cherish123 · 23/10/2024 22:07

YANBU.
Enjoy

LittleFriendSusan · 23/10/2024 22:03

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:23

@BogRollBOGOF ah but if it's a local pub for local people, is there anything for me there?

[Whoosh]

It made me laugh anyway 😂

MiddleClassProblem · 23/10/2024 21:54

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 19:31

I went/am in the pub Grin thank you all so much

I hope it was enjoyable! You can always get some food next time if it felt awkward/needed more of a solo pub goer disguise

AutumnLeaves24 · 23/10/2024 21:51

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:23

@BogRollBOGOF ah but if it's a local pub for local people, is there anything for me there?

A seat
A drink (or several)
heating

... radical I know, but you might even make a new friend

over autumn/winter, why would you schlep all the way home to barely have time for a wee & schlep home again.

I presume you can't/don't want, to volunteer at the group??

JWhipple · 23/10/2024 21:48

I dread pub on my own, but if I go away on my own sometimes it's a necessary evil.
Absolutely take a book/kindle. I get very anxious and have managed a few hours in a pub my myself.

Enjoy!

Original poster
wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 21:45

Thank you @DataColour 😇

OP posts:
JohnCravensNewsround · 23/10/2024 21:39

I thought I'd won the parenting lottery when dds dance lesson was at 1-2 on Saturday next to a pub.
Even better if it's a Wetherspoons, download the app you don't even need to go to the bar!

DappledThings · 23/10/2024 21:29

Loloj · 23/10/2024 19:14

I’ve had this exact dilemma tonight - although it’s a tiny village pub and I didn’t feel comfortable with that as it is so small with locals. Had it been a weatherspoons id have definitely gone to the pub. So instead I’ve sat in my car reading mumsnet posts and thinking how lovey the pub would have been 😂

What was putting you off? My local is a small village pub full of other locals. Once a month I have a meeting there. I deliberately go an hour early with my book to get a quiet break. Weatherspoons, local pub, busy city centre one, cafe, all fair game and wouldn't cross my mind not to go in your situation or OP's.

needlesandhaystacks · 23/10/2024 21:29

Pub. Enjoy some you time. Find a quiet corner and people watch!

ThinWomansBrain · 23/10/2024 21:25

as others have said, pub, coffee book.

Or DH can take her.

mindutopia · 23/10/2024 21:24

You couldn’t pay me to go in a Wetherspoon’s personally. But if it was a decent, quiet pub not filled with the braying masses, yes, I’d take a book and sit with an alcohol free drink for a bit.

DataColour · 23/10/2024 21:24

wildlygreen · 23/10/2024 18:23

@BogRollBOGOF ah but if it's a local pub for local people, is there anything for me there?

Love it!

ceallachmint · 23/10/2024 21:19

Pub, wine and book. Heaven lol!!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 23/10/2024 21:06

Pub. Coffee. Book. If you’re attracting unwanted attention then keep checking phone as if waiting for someone.