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To think he deserved what he got?

205 replies

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 16:24

I want to preface this with violence is never the first answer and there was better ways of dealing with it.

I got a call from ds (13) school to say that he had been in trouble because he punched a boy in the face and knocked him to the ground, ds is autistic and wears a hat as a comfort item, he’s worn a hat every day for three years and is extremely protective of his hats, no one touches them not even me and his dad. The last time he got into trouble for violence was nearly two years ago when a kid took his hat and wouldn’t give it back. My ds is also gender confused at the moment, and has been since he was 7! (Still Goes by he/him) most people see a quiet gentle effeminate boy and think he will be a pushover but he’s not.

basically the kid took his hat and denied it, ds got in his face and asked for it back and he threw it into the mud at which point ds pushed him towards it and said “pick it up” (all on cctv with audio) the kid said no and pushed back, there was a scuffle and next thing the kid is on his arse on the floor holding his face and ds just calmly picked up his hat and walked off.
school were surprisingly understanding and said he wouldn’t try it on with ds again! Ds is getting isolated at break times for a day but won’t be suspended.

obviously I’ve spoken to ds about how there’s better ways to deal with things than resorting to violence but part of me wants to give him a high five! He’s always been a target for bullies for obvious reasons but I’m quite old and from the generation that understood that if you didn’t knock a bully on their arse and humble them they’d never stop. Hopefully this kid was suitably humiliated by getting his arse handed to him by a boy in a pink hat in front of the whole school and will learn a lesson from it.

OP posts:
MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 22:05

I’m going to have to name change I think. I’ve been on mumsnet for over 13 years (with a couple of name changes along the way) but now I can’t have any discussion that doesn’t come around to pearl clutching and ignorance. If more people followed the temples tenets the world would be much calmer!

not that it matters but ds was born with male genitalia.

OP posts:
Over40Overdating · 23/10/2024 21:33

Oh dear @MrsBunTheBakersMum now that the extremely hard of critical thinking know you are a satanist, it’s curtains for your thread.

Pearls will be clutched and lips pursed at your ungodlyness. Never mine the tenets of satanism being more equitable and humane than the widely revered commandments. The people who worship the altar of Jonny Boden and Ocado will have no truck with satanists!!

BreatheAndFocus · 23/10/2024 21:33

Nousernamesleftatall · 23/10/2024 20:02

Please don’t ever change your child’s pronouns or let him think he is a girl and entitled to be in female spaces. Where will that end if he is misgendered (correctly gendered)?

I understood the child to be a girl who used he/him pronouns. And it was a girl with a comfort hat in the previous allegedly unrelated thread too. A girl with ASD being encouraged to think there are boy things and girl things and some imaginary criteria they need to meet personality-wise to be their sex.

HundredAcreOwl · 23/10/2024 21:22

ToNiceWithSpice · 23/10/2024 21:07

What are you on about? The op says she doesn't think she's ever started a thread about ds and the hat, she never said she didn't start a thread about Satan

I've just read that, it explains that members of Satan's Temple and the Church of Satan do not worship Satan, a fascinating thread!

themamanet · 23/10/2024 21:16

ToNiceWithSpice · 23/10/2024 21:07

What are you on about? The op says she doesn't think she's ever started a thread about ds and the hat, she never said she didn't start a thread about Satan

i am not referring to the op and a previous thread re her son? what are you talking about

it was purely the satan thread i was referring to

Notimeforaname · 23/10/2024 21:09

Fair play to him. I only wish I had the courage to do this as a child!

ToNiceWithSpice · 23/10/2024 21:07

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:31

you started a thread about worshiping satan
it was deleted
You started another. And it’s still there.

What are you on about? The op says she doesn't think she's ever started a thread about ds and the hat, she never said she didn't start a thread about Satan

themamanet · 23/10/2024 21:03

ExtraOnions · 23/10/2024 20:57

…so in March there were 2 similar (one almost identical) incidents with the hat ?? Or was that a completely different Trans, ASD child with a hat and a muddy puddle ?

.. and the OP is (is not ??) a satanist

this is getting increasingly odd

oh and did you catch the fact the op feels hard done because she wouldn’t be call out if she was jewish!

themamanet · 23/10/2024 21:02

ExtraOnions · 23/10/2024 20:57

…so in March there were 2 similar (one almost identical) incidents with the hat ?? Or was that a completely different Trans, ASD child with a hat and a muddy puddle ?

.. and the OP is (is not ??) a satanist

this is getting increasingly odd

it was bloody odd ever since worships
op worships satans temple?

op… it is literally all there in black and white

ExtraOnions · 23/10/2024 20:57

…so in March there were 2 similar (one almost identical) incidents with the hat ?? Or was that a completely different Trans, ASD child with a hat and a muddy puddle ?

.. and the OP is (is not ??) a satanist

this is getting increasingly odd

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 20:52

i Don’t worship anyone that’s kind of the point. And yes he does

OP posts:
Kibble29 · 23/10/2024 20:47

Good for him. The boy had a chance to give it back, didn’t take it (probably because he thought your son is a pushover, as you mention) and got what was coming to him.

My boy is much younger than yours but if he was involved in a similar situation I’d want him to stand up for himself and do whatever he has to. It really doesn’t mean that they’ll turn into a violent criminal as an adult, it means they’re not going to allow people to treat them like shit at school.

The posters saying he should have told an adult - they’re 13 and presumably at high school. Many schools aren’t interested in kids telling on each other over what could be considered a small, silly issue (I know it’s not small or silly to your son) and the social impact of being deemed to be a grass is huge. Fine to do that when you’re five, not so much when you’re a teenager.

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:44

Does your son know his mother worships satan?

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:43

because I’m just a satanist it would be regarded much differently if I was Jewish and people jumped on that every time I opened my mouth.

You didn’t Op

You didn’t seriously just write this did you!

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 20:37

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:31

you started a thread about worshiping satan
it was deleted
You started another. And it’s still there.

I misread, the satanist post was me, I didn’t post the last time he got his hat stolen.

OP posts:
MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 20:35

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:27

I’m guessing you are denying fact you started a thread about worshipping Satan because you’re not aware of AS functionality?! It’s all there in black and white

I’ve never denied being a satanist on here, i never denied making that thread I just don’t care to answer a million questions on this thread where it’s got nothing to do with my beliefs.
I also don’t worship satan, if that’s what you think that thread was about you obviously didn’t read it.

I actually left mumsnet after that thread because I knew anything I ever posted would come back to my religion regardless of whether it was related in any way.
but it’s ok because I’m just a satanist it would be regarded much differently if I was Jewish and people jumped on that every time I opened my mouth.

OP posts:
TerrysNeapolitan · 23/10/2024 20:35

Good for him 100% bullies need to be told

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:31

really weird that the Op says on this thread she never did

LOeff · 23/10/2024 20:31

mumedu · 23/10/2024 20:24

100% this

It shows as an adult he'll stand up for himself and won't let himself be pushed around. I once called the cops on a bunch of school kids fighting and after they found out that no one was seriously injured and no weapons were involved they laughed it off as "ah we were all like that as kids".

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:31

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 18:22

I don’t think that was me, I don’t believe I posted about it last time.

you started a thread about worshiping satan
it was deleted
You started another. And it’s still there.

user8754387 · 23/10/2024 20:30

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:27

I’m guessing you are denying fact you started a thread about worshipping Satan because you’re not aware of AS functionality?! It’s all there in black and white

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4623288-why-was-my-thread-removed

Why was my thread removed? | Mumsnet

I posted to see if anyone had the same religious beliefs as I did and within hours my post was deleted. am I right in thinking now that mumsnet is ha...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4623288-why-was-my-thread-removed

themamanet · 23/10/2024 20:27

I’m guessing you are denying fact you started a thread about worshipping Satan because you’re not aware of AS functionality?! It’s all there in black and white

tsmainsqueeze · 23/10/2024 20:24

He certainly did deserve what he got !
I have always told my sons and daughter never to start trouble but hit back twice as hard if anyone hits you 1st and then me and their dad will sort any consequences out.
Thankfully it happened just the once and my son won, lesson learnt by the bully.
I hope anyone now thinks twice about messing your son about , you should be very proud of him , i am !

mumedu · 23/10/2024 20:24

NoisyDenimShaker · 23/10/2024 18:54

Violence is never the answer. If your DS does this kind of thing as an adult, he'll end up in a police cell. He should have told the playground supervisor that this kid had taken his hat, refused to give it back, and thrown it in the mud. Learning to regulate our emotions is a valuable skill that we all need to practice.

100% this

mumedu · 23/10/2024 20:23

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 23/10/2024 16:24

I want to preface this with violence is never the first answer and there was better ways of dealing with it.

I got a call from ds (13) school to say that he had been in trouble because he punched a boy in the face and knocked him to the ground, ds is autistic and wears a hat as a comfort item, he’s worn a hat every day for three years and is extremely protective of his hats, no one touches them not even me and his dad. The last time he got into trouble for violence was nearly two years ago when a kid took his hat and wouldn’t give it back. My ds is also gender confused at the moment, and has been since he was 7! (Still Goes by he/him) most people see a quiet gentle effeminate boy and think he will be a pushover but he’s not.

basically the kid took his hat and denied it, ds got in his face and asked for it back and he threw it into the mud at which point ds pushed him towards it and said “pick it up” (all on cctv with audio) the kid said no and pushed back, there was a scuffle and next thing the kid is on his arse on the floor holding his face and ds just calmly picked up his hat and walked off.
school were surprisingly understanding and said he wouldn’t try it on with ds again! Ds is getting isolated at break times for a day but won’t be suspended.

obviously I’ve spoken to ds about how there’s better ways to deal with things than resorting to violence but part of me wants to give him a high five! He’s always been a target for bullies for obvious reasons but I’m quite old and from the generation that understood that if you didn’t knock a bully on their arse and humble them they’d never stop. Hopefully this kid was suitably humiliated by getting his arse handed to him by a boy in a pink hat in front of the whole school and will learn a lesson from it.

Soon enough your kid will be an adult. If he behaves this like this with the public, he will be charged with assault. Will you be high-fiving him when he's in jail? Yes, he was provoked, but no this is not ok.

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