Grandparents visits too much

‘I don’t know how long they would go without seeing him without the convenience of him being brought to them.’

Time to find out!

YANBU, but you really have to speak up. It doesn't have to be a long discussion. Just tell them you are busy during the week with classes and playgroups, but they are more than welcome to pop in and see your DC when you are at home.

Why are you entertaining this?
Absolutely ridiculous.
Are you very young that you are tolerate being bossed about.
They are NOT your boss.
See them when it suits you.
Decide what works for you and is reasonable and communicate it to them.
No discussion.
TELL them what will work for YOU going forward.
Alternate visiting, you go to them One week, they come to you the next.
No discussion.
If they don't visit you thats on them.
Woman up.😁

Oh and you will be furious with yourself in the future that you ruined this special time by allowing yourself to be told what to do.

I would, invite each set over for dinner once per week and then they can help with bedtime bath time whilst you tidy up etc.

Practice being less available... It isn't difficult once you get started!!

This in spades.

Say no. Let them be annoyed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Life with young kids is hard enough, don't make it harder.

Explain you don't want to always go round there, once a week is enough. You shouldn't feel pressured, you're old enough to make your own choices.

Just this. This is your family now, put some boundaries in place. You're doing way too much for them

I voted YANBU but YABU for going along with it for so long.

Just say no, sorry, we're busy. If you would like to see GS you can visit on this day at this time.

Or if they'd like to commit to babysitting for one of your work days, you can arrange that.

I voted YABU because you need to learn to say no, rather than being a doormat and people pleaser. You are in control here. Start being assertive because you will need to learn this as part of parenting too anyway.

1 visit a fortnight each as a visit on x day. They are welcome to come to yours on y day however you and DC are exhausted and tired and would like to stay home. If they complain remind them the road to their house runs in both directions

that sounds exhausting and the grandparents aren’t being fair to you so stand up for yourself and your DC

That's far too much contact. They're only complaining about it because they're used to it. Just stop going. It doesn't work for you now, and it won't in the future when your little one starts preschool/school either.

Decide how often you're willing to go - once a fortnight or month seems pretty standard - and then stop going more than that. They'll moan a bit and then fill their time with something else.

Since having my daughter I’ve always had the stance with everyone that if we’re at home then door is always open for anyone who wants to come round, but if they want me to take her to see them then I’ll let them know when I’m able to do that.

I do still take her to grandparents/aunt/family but when it works for us, rather than having to carve out half a day 3 days a week to take her to houses where we have none of our usual things, no toys, no prep machine etc, it’s a hassle I simply cba with multiple times a week.

YANBU to want this to change, but perhaps you are being unreasonable to keep doing something that isn't manageable for you, without taking the initiative to change it?
Consider all your options. Would it work to drop DS off to the grandparents and collect him later? Would you prefer to tell them this arrangement isn't working but you'd like them to come to you, or that contact needs cutting down to once a fortnight?
Maybe they will give you a hard time but maybe not. They may not have thought what it's like from your point of view and be keen to help. Also they want to see their grandson and can only do it with your consent, so you are the one in the stronger position.

I'm guessing they live quite close if 2x visits a week is even an option, in which case you need to insist they come to you some of the time. Even if they get pissed off to start with. Stand firm.
My DCs grandparents aren't local so they see them for one weekend every 8 weeks on average. You need to manage their expectations more firmly.

Just let them know what you said in your OP. Visiting grandparents 4 times a week is quite a lot if you have a busy life

So you have three days with your son but you're spending what - two of those just shuffling between grandparents? God, that sounds horrendous.

Tell them no. Suggest they join you at soft play or music group or whatever. Invite them to yours if you want. But you don't have to facilitate this.

Given that your life is busier they need to fit in with you. It's ok to say no to a visit and twice a week is more than many grandparents.

Is that two visits a week per each set of grandparents, i.e. four visits per week? That sounds a lot.

Just don't do it and when they complain, say that they can come and visit you if they like? Are both sets of grandparents retired?

If they are this lazy they won't agree to it, but why don't they take him to some of of his classes while you stay home and get jobs done/work etc. Best of both worlds, you get time away and they get to see the kid.

No doubt this would be waaaay above them.

Tell them you are busy and can’t visit. Or tell them they are welcome to come over on X day at X time so you can crack on with housework while they are over.

For goodness sake if it's not convenient just say so. Invite them to come to you instead if that suits you better. Stop whining and do something about it.

I hope that none of the grandparents are divorced because that would be 4 days a week on grandparents visits.

I would be telling them what is convenient (eg once a week) and telling them to travel to you at least 50% of the time.

So what if they complain ? 🤷‍♀️ It sounds like they wouldn’t be happy even if you saw them 7 days a week.

Just say 'I can't come on x day, I have too much housework to do, can you come to mine?' In a dream world, they'd come to you and spend time with him so you can get stuff done.

So he needs to communicate that with his family and you to yours. You only work 2 days a week on the other 3 week days can you visit them then? Or specifically invite them to yours.