Ex trying to reclaim money from child

Next he'll be asking for grandpa's contribution back that he made to his son's health care provider. His dad will disinherit him if he's not careful!

What a disgusting p.o.s. Your poor boy having that for a dad, men like him sicken me. I really hope you can get this sorted but even if he has to pay £50 a week for 18 months the amount goes back up to £100 after the period so the horrible turd only gets away with it for 18 months.

@Preeel you're right to speak to the grandfather as I do believe your t**t of an ex may get away with this otherwise. My DP is RP and we had a similar situation where arrears had accrued with CMS due to his ex not paying what she should. She managed to completely confuse the CMS by paying just small amounts weekly that came to 10% of what she should have paid, then she was investigated for not declaring an increase in her income, so whole case was put on hold by which time the annual review went through and missed payments from previous year were wiped! One of her relatives was in discussions with my DP over this and realised she had underpaid so lent her the money to pay it back. She then told the CMS later that she'd overpaid and got it knocked off future payments. My DP appealed but got nowhere. Honestly CMS is a joke. I really hope there's karma for those NRP who try everything to get out of paying as they are a disgrace.

Call his bluff and say you'll arrange to pay grandfather back directly if that's what he wants. It has no bearing on CMS going forward.

You really begrudges paying towards his son doesn’t he? I really hope it’s not possible for him to get it back, it’s gross he would even try, but I do remember reading about someone else where the father successfully offset it. I don’t know why that would be allowed. Surely voluntary payments are just that, they shouldn’t take away from compulsory payments.

You will need to disagree that he paid £4,000. However, quite how you are going to prove the money originally came from your exes Dad, I don't know. You need your ex FIL to provide bank statements, showing the regular amount going into his son's account. Not sure if your ex FIL would cooperate with this, because he runs the risk of upsetting his son. Without some kind of proof, you may be stuffed. Your ex isn't going to volunteer to show the CMS bank statements showing the money coming into his account from his Dad's.

All I can say is, I hate the thought of my kids being taught by a man who would try to claw back £50 a week gifted by his own dad to support his own kid. What a shit.

I am shocked!!! What a horrid man!!

I'm also baffled as to why CMS are concerned with previous payments as this is about point of claim? I didn't think calculations could be back dated

See him in court!

Sorry absolutely no advice but what a shit dad and what a shit system.

How awful that they can reduce future payments based on previous voluntary payments.

Sorry, my misunderstanding, I was working it out per month! Unfortunately I don't think you will get a clear answer here because it really depends on the CMS. Arguably he has a paper trail of paying £200 a month when he needed to pay nothing but that doesn't necessarily mean that the CMS will count all of that as deductions from future payments. It just depends I'm afraid.

Haha! Maths was never my strong point tbh.

I suppose it is technically correct, that his father made outright gifts to him, which he used to make voluntary payments. But I can't imagine this outcome is what his father had in mind, so he is the key. If I was him I'd declare it a loan and call it in to pass on to OP

I know there are a lot of dubious people in professional roles, but I'd hate my children to be taught by a man like that.

Definitely get on to your ex-fil! I'd be surprised if he knows about any of this.

I would say you didn't receive voluntary payments from him. You received money from his father. Let him argue the technicalities about how the money was sent if he wishes, but the voluntary payments are from his father.

It's hard to imagine that this person is a teacher.

What a total shit this man is. I think you have a sound case Go via CMS.

I agree that he should repay his dad the money and add the same amount to what he is paying you to cover the shortfall during his training. What a useless, mean fuckwit.

@BananaSplitSandwich but he only has to show them the bank statements and transactions to the OP to show he was transferring money to her monthly. Unless the OP explains the situation they won't know to look at the other payments coming into his account - he could just say his dad is elderly and transfers him money to d his grocery shopping everymonth.

Men like him absolutely disgust me, utter cockroaches. It seems like he has a decent father too, so it’s not like he was raised to be a selfish, irresponsible prick. My dad was like this, paid my mum £80 a month to cover three kids, it was in the 90s but still a pittance. He resented every penny and even talked me out of going into further education so that he wouldn’t have to keep paying my mum for me. I hate him for other reasons, but none of us (me and my siblings) have anything to do with him now. I hope your ex realises this is likely to be his fate too once his child grows up and realises what a massive let down he is.

No need for this as the ex didn’t pay. The grandfather did. Least said the better really.

I’m embarrassed for your ex.

How old is the DC? I would cut the dad out and personally thank the GF of your DC for his help. Explain in simple terms what his son is attempting to do. And get something in writing. The man thought about your child whilst your ex couldn't be arsed. Get it in writing, keep a copy and send the original to the agency.

You know it is! Call him call him call him. I'm invested now 😄

Of course it’s him chancing it, why would grandad give money for grandchild so he didn’t miss out or suffer in anyway only to ask for it all back 18 months later? I’d just let the ex know I’ll speak with ex FIL and ask if he is asking for the money back and I’ll contact CMS to explain the agreement. Tbh the ex FIL probably has no clue what’s going on and your ex just wants to reduce his monthly payments for a while