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AIBU?

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I'm very concerned about viruses and lice at nursery

132 replies

greeny369 · 23/10/2024 10:37

As a first time mom, a lot of things freak me out and make me question if that's normal. So my LO has started nursery, still settling in, which is taking longer than expected, but that's another story. Every morning I drop him off I see kids wildly coughing, noses leaking, rashes here and there. I mean.. I've heard from other parents around me how children get sick bi-weekly since start of nursery, but it just keeps bothering me that parents don't seem to care if their child is sick and still bring them to nursery. I empathise with parents who work full time and have no other option, but what about the other children? For me the cherry on the top of the cake was when I saw a piece of paper taped by the entrance gate the other day at our nursery saying they've found lice on one of the kids. Apparently very 'normal' for people working there and seemingly not an issue that needs addressing in any special way. Now I have debilitating fear of insects, obviously that's one of the reasons I'm shocked this is considered the norm. But then again, am I unreasonable thinking that nursery has to address this issue somehow? Be it by implementing extra cleaning routines, or removing the source of this occurance, until they are treated and confirmed to have tackeled the issue? When I asked these questions at the nursery, they just quickly dismiss me saying ' oh, its completely normal, if they don't get lice here they get it in primary or secondary, but essentially they eventually do ' followed by a big awkward smile. Maybe it's just me, but I'm considering changing nurseries. I'd love to hear another perspective on this.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 23/10/2024 11:00

I worked in school Nursery and Reception classes from 1985 to 2015. It has always been this way.

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 23/10/2024 10:59

It's a fact of life I'm afraid. Do you have an anxiety disorder?
It's good for young children to build up their immunity with coughs and colds.
As for lice, they're easy to deal with. Just wash with a nit shampoo and comb them out.
I recommend cognitive behavioral therapy or you will pass your anxiety on to your kids. It's completely irrational.

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 23/10/2024 10:58

Honestly? Parents should not send their children in if they have a high temperature or have diarrhoea or are vomiting. But if the children didn’t go in when they have colds then they would almost never attend. I tend to think that children who catch a lot of colds in nursery will end up missing less school.

This was exactly what I was going to say. It's better to build up immunity now.

We we're lucky enough to dodge lice and threadworm, but my DD used to get get horrendous coughs and colds - but Reception, she was much hardier!

Completelyjo · 23/10/2024 10:57

Maybe it's just me, but I'm considering changing nurseries.

Good luck finding a nursery that never has colds or nits!

Edingril · 23/10/2024 10:57

So your child is more likely than the thousands of others babies around?

Your child is more precious than anyone else's?

Birdscratch · 23/10/2024 10:56

I’m sorry but you need to accept that your child is going to get head lice, probably more than once, between now and high school. You’ll need to treat them and everyone else in the house.

moggle · 23/10/2024 10:55

I imagine general kid coughs and colds are universal, but some countries (eg USA) have a much harder line on head lice than the UK so if the OP is from a country like that it is fair enough to be shocked at the lice thing! My daughter was listening to an American podcast for kids and it was about head-lice, and it sounded like kids had to stay off school for at least a week if lice were found to go through several treatments before returning. Hence, much fewer outbreaks and lice are considered with absolute revulsion!
I would imagine anyone who grew up in the UK is well familiar with headlice and reacts with more of a roll of the eyes and a sigh so I wonder if the OP grew up else where…

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 23/10/2024 10:55

it just keeps bothering me that parents don't seem to care if their child is sick and still bring them to nursery

Is this comment about the children with runny noses and coughing? My DD will cough for weeks after a cold, there's absolutely no need to keep her off the whole time. And I'd definitely send her in with a bit of a runny nose as long as she didn't have a fever and was ok in herself - if she had a temp, streaming nose, obviously miserable and runny eyes etc then we'd keep her home.

Re lice - my DD1 is in year 1 and went to nursery from 11 months, and DD2 is 2.5 and has been at nursery for 18 months. We've never had lice, but this will be down to luck, rather than any superior nursery cleaning routine or anything. I'm sure we'll have them at some point.

CruCru · 23/10/2024 10:54

Honestly? Parents should not send their children in if they have a high temperature or have diarrhoea or are vomiting. But if the children didn’t go in when they have colds then they would almost never attend. I tend to think that children who catch a lot of colds in nursery will end up missing less school.

Nits are not much fun but they can be treated. Some children get them lots, some not at all. Boys get them a bit less because their hair is usually shorter. Year 4 girls get them because they spend all day draped over each other’s shoulders.

Someone upthread said that the OP should speak to her GP about her anxiety. This is really unhelpful. We are not told that she is unable to go about her day to day life - there are limits to what GPs should have to get involved in.

Serencwtch · 23/10/2024 10:53

Wait until the noro outbreaks & threadworms hit!!

Colds & nits are just things you have to deal with. Where there's kids there will be colds, sick bugs, nits & threadworms on repeat. It's completely normal and as prevalent in the private nurseries & schools.

If you are phobic about nits I'd say keep DS hair as short as possible so you will notice them quickly & treating is much easier. I thought DD looked lovely with her long thick hair in plaits until I spent night after night with one of those damn nit combs.

Threadworms are the work of the devil. I think I must have treated the entire extended family 10 times over & still have nightmares about the wriggly buggers.

Mel2023 · 23/10/2024 10:53

YABU. Nurseries are crawling with bugs are viruses as kids have a lower immune system as they’re little and haven’t been as exposed to all the new bugs and germs as we have. And there’s a lot of them in close contact with no sense of “oh, it may not be a good idea to sneeze right in my friend’s face.”

Since my 2yr old DS went back to preschool in Sept, we’ve had emails and notices on the door about chickenpox, hand foot and mouth, lice, sickness bugs. The nursery do take it seriously and when chickenpox was going round they made sure to tell each and every parent the isolation period and what to look out for, when the D&V bug wiped out the whole nursery (even staff and parents) they made sure we knew not to take DS in for 48hrs after symptoms stopped. As it was so widespread they spoke to Public Health and arranged a deep clean of the nursery on their advice, and there was an email saying it was taking place early morning on X date and children weren’t allowed in until it had been completed and there would be temp checks and thorough hand washing when they entered and throughout the day. I don’t think DS has never not had a snotty nose in winter, and if we kept him off for every cough and cold we’d be on warnings at work! Sorry OP, this is normal and is something which will continue into school years.

InTheRainOnATrain · 23/10/2024 10:52

Young children get a lots of colds and coughs because they have immature immune systems. They’re also rubbish at blowing their nose, don’t usually wash their hands unless prompted and under a certain age stick everything in the mouthes. Now stick a bunch of young children together and it becomes inevitable and unavoidable that they pass germs around to the point where they can have a snotty nose literally all winter. You can’t keep them home indefinitely and you’d probably find that there wouldn’t be any children in nursery over winter if you started excluding for common colds. Lice are also pretty prolific. Once they know a kid has them then the policy is usually stay home until treated but we’re only human and it’s easy to miss the early stages. No setting is immune, even private schools have nits (bitter experience!). Yes it’s all a bit gross but it is what it is, you can’t isolate them in a bubble!

Hobnobswantshernameback · 23/10/2024 10:52

And if you ever have a second child good luck keeping them away from their sibling who will by then no doubt be a large germ laden toddler 😂

newusern9999 · 23/10/2024 10:52

CornishTiger · 23/10/2024 10:51

Wait til the threadworms!

I was just about to say the same thing. I only ever saw the blighters once but I learnt my lesson and from then on every time DS complained of an itchy bottom out came the ovex!

CornishTiger · 23/10/2024 10:51

Wait til the threadworms!

Dramatic · 23/10/2024 10:51

This is how kids immune systems are built up, coughs and colds aren't a reason to keep a kid off nursery (unless they have a temp or are feeling particularly unwell with it) many kids have a residual cough or runny nose after a virus for a couple of weeks.

As for the lice unfortunately that's just something you'll have to deal with if your kid catches them, they are in every school.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 23/10/2024 10:50

good luck finding a nursery where your child never catches an illness

MrSeptember · 23/10/2024 10:49

But minor illnesses are rampant among children because they don't have immunity yet. This is just basic biology. Most of these are not a big deal. If you kept your child home every time it had a bit of a runny nose, they'd never go to nursery. As for lice .... well, that's just one of those things. Annoying and irritating and yes, sometimes there's that ONE child whose parent never does anything about it, but it spreads easily. That's just one of those things.

You are definitely going to need to toughen up a bit here.

TheShellBeach · 23/10/2024 10:49

It really is completely normal for children to get lice.

It isn't the fault of the nursery or school. There are no additional cleaning routines that would stop this happening.

You've got many years of this ahead of you. Schools are rife with lice, too.

It's just part of childhood.

As for sick children, schools generally insist on children bring sent in when they're ill, so that's normal, too. Also, lots of parents rely on nurseries for childcare, and cannot take endless time off. They'd soon lose their jobs if they did.

Singleandproud · 23/10/2024 10:48

This is normal and part and parcel of having children.

Everytime your child starts at an institution with a large number of different people they are going to get coughs and colds, it's how their immune system develops, it happens at nursery, at the start of Primary, Secondary and then at uni Freshers Flu is the same thing.

Buy a load of cheap conditioner and a nitty gritty comb and comb your child's hair with it three times a week as a maintenance service, and daily if you get anything out. DD only ever had them one thankfully.

Flumoxed · 23/10/2024 10:47

Yeah, it's gross. I had hoped that lice would be completely eliminated during the pandemic when everyone was separated and could treat their family for any lice and that would be the end of it. Sadly not. Not much they can do unfortunately apart from tell the parents to check.
If you haven't already, start using teatree oil shampoo.

BeMintBee · 23/10/2024 10:46

If it helps my kids are 20 and 17 now and have never had lice. I work with kids every day and have never caught lice during my working career.

BabyCloud · 23/10/2024 10:45

My DD never caught anything at nursery or primary. At secondary school she’s never had more than a sniffle.

Not all kids catch everything. When I’m unwell I get it bad and she has no sympathy 😂

Itsmahoneybaloney · 23/10/2024 10:45

PROBIOTICS

get your child and yourself on decent probiotics and multi vits - cuts down the chance of catching illnesses dramatically. Start it today and do it consistently every day.

For lice - it's a thing - everywhere has it and 90% of kids will catch them probably more than once. Hedrin Once and a decent nit comb sorts it. My kids have only had them once so far (age 8 and nearly 3) it's no big deal. You need to speak to the GP about your anxiety.

Wn38475 · 23/10/2024 10:44

I'm afraid that these issues persist through nursery, primary school, secondary school and university. And then if you commute to a job on crowded public transport you still get ill.