AIBU for wanting to take my child to a&e

Croup has a distinct barking cough, sounds like a seal. If she had it once she may have it again. If so, run your shower on as hot it goes , close the bathroom doors and sit in the room with her and breathe the steam,with her. If that doesn't work go to hospital. ( mum who had a child with croup here) If it recurs they can give you medication to take home as well to have on hand, Hope your LO is better now

Yesterday morning, the responses were correct - your daughter didn't need a trip to A&E then because she was slightly unwell like half the children in primary schools in the week before half term. I spent 4 hours in A&E with ds2, 14, and chest pain (with significant cardiac history) on Friday night and, as you know now, you don't want to be there for a slight virus. Like you say, health anxiety was affecting your judgement. However, tonight, your mum instincts were spot on. Things changed quickly and you got the help your daughter needed so well done for that. Croup can change rapidly, as can lots of other illnesses and conditions. It's a tough gig trying to decide if a child needs seeing or not. I still find it hard 16 years later!

Croup is caused by cold viruses, so definitely expect cold symptoms with it, and headaches are not unusual with a stonking cold.

I hope that in time you manage to get control of your health anxiety

And so so does everyone at A&E (speaking from decades of experience)🤣.

As someone who was diagnosed with a brain tumour after becoming critically ill, I expected to read your post and tell you to listen to your gut and get your child seen, pushing for an MRI due to the symptoms I expected you to say. From your post there aren't any red flags for a brain tumour. Headaches and vomiting are very common in children.

You've acknowledged you have health anxiety and now your child is 5, they are going to pick things up so this will be difficult for you. It sounds like what your daughter has is a run of the mill bug and isn't anything for you to worry about as long as she is getting fluids down her and passing urine.

I hope that in time you manage to get control of your health anxiety

Agreeing with others
but well done for recognising your anxiety and reaching out on here
being gentle please take some of the advice on here

I mean this kindly as I understand health anxiety can be really crippling however, your daughter clearly has a cold type bug, this can also make them vomit at night as they are laying down. I'm sure she is okay, there's a lot going round.

I'm not to sure why you mention the eye tests. It was all fine . You don't need to worry about it. One of my dd had the same test and had to go straight to the main hospital eye department for an mri . Thankfully it all turned out fine. But the point is those tests at the opticians do pick stuff up . And your dds was normal

How's her ears ? My dd often would get snotty nose /headach/being sick and half the time it was an ear infection . Even though she didn't mention earache.
Kids get sick lots when young.

YABU. This is neither an accident nor an emergency. This is a childhood bug.

Vomiting with a bug is normal. As is their head hurting when unwell with a cold, temperature or vomiting bug.
Its also normal for her to be tired, but not completely out of it.
I understand health anxiety is very hard to deal with, but remember that it's extremely normal for children to get ill regularly throughout winter, especially once they are in school.
Remember to give calpol or Ibuprofen when she isn't well and assess how she is once that's had time to work, often they will then bounce back to feeling reasonably OK.

You must deal with your health anxiety before it causes your child harm.

If you take your child to A&E for normal childhood illnesses repeatedly because of not dealing with your anxiety then it will quite rightly be assessed as a safeguarding issue - because it is.

If you are finding it hard to assess when your child is ill and what sort of help they need you will need to ask people who you trust to help you, and you need to then listen to them - it seems your mother can help you here.

Otherwise you will put your child at increased risk by taking them somewhere where they will feel more unwell rather than being warm and cared for in their own bed. They may undergo painful and scary tests for your reassurance that will cause them harm.

MeMyCatsAndI · Today 10:20

Very gently YABU. The last thing a&e needs is a sickness bug spreading around like wildfire”

And this. I was perfectly well whilst I waited with my husband. I picked up a bug within 2 days.

Very gently YABU. The last thing a&e needs is a sickness bug spreading around like wildfire.

I’m glad you’re getting support for your own anxieties. Maybe worth making an extra appointment with them for you if you think talking things through may help.

as others have said you do need to be careful that she doesn’t pick up on your anxieties. Going to A and E for what is most likely a cold risks making her panic every time she sneezes too

All kids are different, but that doesn't sound like the type of headache and sickness my DS got when he developed a brain tumour. Typically it's when they are flat (ie. sleeping) that pressure builds in the head, which is what causes an unbelievable headache. After a few hours of sitting up, the headache went away. The vomiting as soon as he sat up (after being asleep) was clear (like saliva) and effortless (unlike when you have a bad tummy).

I think it sounds like your poor DD has a bug. If she gets worse or doesn't improve within the next couple of days, call the GP.

@MumofHennHals this is the lady I found on youtube whose videos helped me when I was on waiting list for help from GP about health anxiety.

https://youtube.com/@cherellethinks?feature=shared

Your little one got an all clear eye exam, hurrah! She then had an active day whilst being run down. Her body is working exactly as it should by giving signals she needs a rest and to recover. x

Swimming when she has a cold probably wasn’t the best idea either. Sounds like she’s had a cold and swimming can often cause a little stomach bug. They’ve both came at the same time but will pass soon enough.

It doesn’t sound like anything more than a standard childhood bug. I have one kid snotty and coughing, the other woke with a headache last night so I’m guessing the cold is about to get her too. I think you need to see the GP for yourself. DD doesn’t need A&E and not only would you time wasting, you run the risk of catching something far worse there- when DS broke his arm he caught a horrendous stomach bug so IMO A&E really is best avoided unless you’re seriously ill or injured and there’s no other option.

Sorry OP, YABU. Yes, it’s scary when our children get sick (and my DS was a very poorly baby and rushed into hospital so I do understand that anxiety that every illness could be more than it seems). But you need to recognise that it’s anxiety and, actually, kids get bugs and sickness and all sorts and it’s normal and absolutely doesn’t warrant rushing them to A&E.

You’re very lucky your DD hasn’t really been ill much in the past and so you haven’t had to deal with this. At age 5 I’m guessing just started school? And it’s coming to winter? She’s being exposed to lots of other kids when she possibly hasn’t been previously, so will pick up and bring home all manner or bugs and viruses and she will be just fine. It’s completely normal. Stock up on Calpol, children’s ibuprofen, cough medicine and a thermometer. Yes, it’s awful when they are sick, but you need to keep it together for her and not project your anxiety.

If you are really concerned - as in she gets worse not better after a prolonged period - call 111 and they will be able to advise most appropriate action. I’ve done that a couple of times with DS when his temp wouldn’t come down and it was middle of the night and one occasion they had us take him in and he was given antibiotics in A&E and sent home after a night of observation, others they’ve managed to get us an appointment with GP for the next day.

Your DD will be fine, listen to your mum and take a step back and take a minute to try and rationalise the situation.

I’ve had severe health anxiety on and off OP so I understand that our kind very easily runs away with us. I’ve had to work very hard and listened to a number of books and resources to make sure it doesn’t leak out onto my little one and loved ones. (There’s a lady on youtube who’s vídeos really helped me bridge some gaps when I was at rock bottom, I’ll see if I can find her again).

For now let’s just take a step back. It was one event. She was already snotty then went swimming, my little one always declines after swimming if she’s not 100%, maybe the combination of change of temp and swimming exersion. Her body is doing what it’s supposed to and saying settle down and have a rest. She ate loads so again body sowing what it’s supposed to and expelling it. All in one go she might just need a bit more hydration and rest. One event is not indicative of a tumour and deep down you know that.

Breathe, give her space and time to heal and focus on your mental health.
I do feel for you and understand and having been in your shoes my focus became not passing this incredibly destructive habit of thinking to my little one x

I had a particularly bad migraine last year. Got sent to a&e by ooh due to it not shifting, like by this point I’d had it 4-5 days. Even at that point, a brain tumour didn’t even spring to mind.

Not only are you being unreasonable AND ridiculous, you’re also projecting your health anxiety onto your child and heading into the dangerous territory of munchausens by proxy.
Is this your first experience of humans and viruses?
Did you recently land here from mars?
Come on OP, you know how insane this is. Your child has a virus. One of thousands of different ones-and she’ll have many, many more over the course of her childhood.
Taking her to A&E is not only unreasonable, it’s also selfish and irresponsible. You’d be spreading the virus around a place full of genuinely very unwell people, people with serious health conditions who could be at risk of incredibly serious illness catching a regular virus.
Fluids and rest is all she needs, and if she can keep it down, Calpol as well. She’ll be right as rain in less than 48 hours most likely, kids bounce back astonishingly quick

What caused you to think of brain tumours? Why have you got that in your head? Have you been watching tv and there was a kid on there that had one? Or is your anxiety about multiple scenarios affecting different parts of the body?

I don't know how effective the treatment you are receiving from your gp for your anxiety is. Maybe you need to do more homework if they give you it or try a different therapist or something.

If anything I'd have thought the opposite after a medical visit for a check up, ie "great she's not got anything wrong I can relax". I wouldn't have linked the vomiting with a brain tumour at all.

You want to get that anxiety under control soon because doctors will think you are crying wolf.

Thats good your mum is so sensible. I'd follow her advice on day to day medical matters.